Women have a delicate sense of SELF. Recently, I met a new female friend. She was much younger than me and her body proved it loud and clear. She was wearing a tank top and nothing was sagging (if you know what I mean). I tried not to let it affect me but after she left, I had an instant "feel bad about myself" moment. Afterall, stuff sags on me these days. I'm not in my 20's, 30's….and soon I'll be leaving my 40's too! My body is "older" and well-worn. In places, it looks pretty good…in others, it is beat up (Hey, you try nursing 3 big fat babies as long as I did).
I wish I could say I didn't let it bother me, but I did. Perhaps the long weeks of being away from my hubby twisted something up inside my head. I was feeling vulnerable! I understand the stress for women whose husband's work with gorgeous women EVERY SINGLE DAY. I realize how frustrating this must be and how wicked the mind can get when thoughts of –> "Does he think she's prettier than me?" come along. These little mind tricks can wreck the way you feel about yourself which in turn, makes you insecure in all that you do (ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR HUSBAND). Beth Moore calls girls who dress provocatively or slinky, MEAN GIRLS! What she means by that is every woman knows when men are oggling at them…..and any woman worth her salt understands, no one ever wants to steal the glances of another man away from the wives who love them. It's mean!
Now, I don't believe that my new friend was trying to steal my hubby's glances. At least, not on purpose. But perhaps, she hasn't reached an age where her looks aren't the first thing one notices upon meeting her or seeing her on the street. When that day comes….and ladies, it comes along. We begin to take note of all that's WRONG with our bodies! Insecurities sneak in and threaten to destroy us of peace and satisfaction for what God has so lovingly given to us. Face it, we get discontent and we beat ourselves up. We think about every Frappe we order and wince at any tasty late night snack we indulge in. Our whole lives become this sort of R E G R E T fest!
There isn't a single woman on this earth who doesn't size up another lady in some way or another. If you deny doing it…..you're lying to yourself and me. It's buried inside all of us. I think it's one of satan's sneakiest ways of discouragement among women. We compare what we have against those around us. We look at them, see something appealing that we admire and start to harp on it inside our heads and before you know it….we are obsessed with what we don't have.
I've thought about my 'feeling bad about myself' moment a hundred times since that encounter and not until today did it hit me…..I AM UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL in my own way. Even with the assurance of my husband that my beauty was enough for him, I allowed satan to rob me of WHO I AM to the world around me. I let him steal what he has no right to take!
I am me and when I look in the mirror, I see….
…….a woman who is loved in every way by her husband. There's not a flaw (on me) that he doesn't find a way to make it seem beautiful. So, when I see the me he loves…..I love me too!
……the mother that I am to my son. The one who looks to me to set the example of what to accept in a wife for himself. I see that he needs a healthy mom (not just a beautiful mom) and that the way I love him will forever impact not only his life, but the life of his wife and his children. That's a beautiful reflection to imagine.
….the faces of my beautiful girls and I'm reminded that God thought so much of me, that he made two more just like me. Every word I speak and every action I make, holds power over both of them. For them, I'm the ultimate woman. No one can ever be me to them but me. They will love husband's and children someday because of what I shared of me in each of their lives. I am blown away by God's graciousness.
…the friend who is safe to share what hurts or celebrate what brings joy with people who love unconditionally. Never do any of my friends make me feel like I'm anything but awesome. If that's how they see me, then I do too!
…a lady who isn't afraid to go fishing in the hot Texas heat with her [tired worked all day] hubby. When someone wants to spend time with you…..always be willing to go. Every moment together is special.
…the niece of many who passed along more than just similar features. My family has shared love, quick wit, fierce determination and perhaps a little fireball temperament. Thanks y'all! I love being like all OF YOU!
…the person who raised three great kids that are now young adults and functioning not only as great American citizens but as believer's in Jesus Christ.
So, when I'm tempted to compare myself to another prettier or younger than me lady…..I pray God would wipe those thoughts right out and fill me with the truth. Because, what I see in the mirror isn't all of who I am.
I'm way better than that….