Test Test, Is This Thing On?

I talk a big talk. Maybe you do too. When I picked my Word for 2015, oh so many months back….I secretly hoped that I wouldn’t actually have to USE IT “too much”.

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Yea, I’m a faith giant.

More like, fake giant.

This past week? I’ve been running on the hamster wheel of [going nowhere fast] and falling hard face-first on my word of the year focus. Trust. Hrmph!

Irony at its greatest.

Isn’t that how it goes? We get all jazzed up, psyche ourselves to the point of nothing can stop me and then fail the whole test when trouble comes our way?!

I cried my eyes out over a terrible FAFSA / SCHOLARSHIP mishap that left my hard-working senior college babe without her much needed money for school. I lost all hope and I even let myself forget that my word for the year was such a doozy of a proclamation that I actually EVER BELIEVED it was for me.

After crying and wailing …. and more crying, then crawling into the covers and giving up – I felt the gentle reminder that God knew all about this way back when. He felt none of the “SURPRISE, your scholarship is gone blues” that I was feeling.

Why it happened isn’t important. It happened. It’s a part of God’s plan. My role in this fiasco is to T R U S T Him.

After all, that’s what I promised to do. I just didn’t think it would be over such a sensitive or important part of my life, my sweet kid and her final year of school. The reality for me though is that I’ve been skipping along, maybe even feeling untouchable when the TRUST test came on the scene.

I am humbled.

I am reminded that my life is not without obstacles. I am deep in gratitude for the love of a Father who knew all along about the scholarship slip-up and holds the power to make all things new with or without a second signature on an online form. He can move mountains and He can make a scholarship come & go…and go & come back again. I know, I can TRUST HIM!

Is it a test? Probably not. Is it a reminder? Probably not. Is it a part of life? Certainly so.

I should be living in complete TRUST every single day. Not just on the days of big scary events that threaten to topple over my whole world or the world of those I love.

trust the lord