Cat scratch fever

I’m not a cat person! Sorry to all of you out there that are cat lovers. I like them….OUTSIDE! I like them….KILLING MICE! I like them….naaaahhh, I really don’t like them. They’re the weirdest animal in the world. They aren’t nice and they glare at you suspiciously. Oh and their fur…….oh my goodness! Don’t even get me started. It is horrible! It drives my allergies crazy!

If I pick up a cat or pet one……my hands and eyes start itching like mad. Then I feel like I swallowed all the fur and my throat goes gaggy! So see? I’m not a cat person. I do like having them outside…lounging around on my porch and dragging up their many kills to proudly show me. But that’s it! If they act mean or unkind….then I don’t want them on my porch anymore.

Originally when we moved here. We brought a beautiful white cat named Me-meow (yea…it’s very unique, huh?) along. She flipped out after the whole move in and ran off. Months later, she came back! See, cats are WEIRD!!! We had an appointment to have her “fixed” but she missed that due to her wandering the world trip. You guessed it…..she had kittens. She went to the doctor and came back a new cat. Fixed!

We have one of her offspring…..oh she was so pretty! Suckers!

The pretty cat? Has been a wild breeding feign! Yes, I am the reason for the CAT POPULATION OVERLOAD!!! Trust me when I say….I have tried everything to end it. Even things I will not mention on this blog! Extreme things! It’s overwhelming me. I’m not an animal hater or one to hurt them…..but this cat and her shenanigans? She’s got me ticked! I’ve fantasized about shooting them out of a canon (to the next cat lovers house of course!)!!

Today some innocent cat loving people came over to pick out a kitty as a new family member. They fell in love with one in particular…a female. Of course the kitties were running back and forth as if they were aware of a kitnapping! We caught the one AND IT WENT CRAZY!! It bit not only the lady who wanted it….but then it bit the lady’s mother! I grabbed it to help out and it scratched the snot out of me! Bloody people all over my back porch! So embarrassing! SEE? CATS ARE MEAN!!

Now you tell me… these look like killers?


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