Archive for the ‘Royal Proclaimations’ Category

Exceedingly Abundant & More

Monday, October 8th, 2018

I told a new friend yesterday that I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M HERE (in Montana) but I believe God has me here for a reason. I’ve had to tell our story over & over and every time I marvel at all that God has done in my life (and my hubby’s). What a strange and stressful journey! I still cry every single time I have to share it and I’m not sure if that’ll ever change. The rawness feels as fresh as if it were a gaping open wound that just won’t heal.

I met a missionary this weekend home from Jordan, he serves there as a director of an international school. I listened to him on Saturday as he told of all that’s happening in Jordan and the women God is using to inspire him in his faith walk. His school is made up of women employees that are giants in the faith and who aren’t afraid to love on Muslim kids, Baptist kids….poor kids, rich kids and more. Every story he told gave me a glimpse into a life that’s challenging beyond what I know here in Montana. I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am a worthy person or able to do things that men can do (in spite of what our fellow citizens are screaming) in this land I love. I can drive a car, wear cute clothes, speak to whomever will listen and pretty much rule the dang world if I SO CHOOSE!

Other countries, not so much.

The last few weeks have been sort of a personal torture for me. I realize that I’m part of my own problem…nonetheless, I have been one emotional breakdown from a hospital. I feel plagued with hopelessness and that’s NOT GOOD in these days we live. I cry over everything. I cannot force myself out of the funk! I know what you’re thinking –> WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Don’t worry, I’ve asked myself that same thing over & over.

My life is good. I’m safe, fed and I know I’m promised so much. Still, I’ve succumbed to a depression that just won’t shake off. It feels like hopelessness. I have watched so many people that I love struggle to overcome the darkness of depression and I thank God that he’s giving me enough to sense to recognize what’s happening. I want to be okay, probably like many others who suffer this way and I am going to do whatever it takes to beat it.

This is heavy, like a noose around my neck.

I miss my family. I feel lonely. I worry we will never have a house again. I grieve my lost dog. I hate all sorts of things about my situation. I don’t like my fat bod. I can’t sleep. My body aches all over. I look a hundred years old. My birthday is this week and I just want to skip it.

I could go on…

The missionary spoke again in church yesterday and he put up Ephesians 3:20-21 as his focal point in his message. I have read that verse hundreds of times, I’ve claimed it & loved it but not until yesterday did it have a whole nother meaning to me. I sat re-reading it as he spoke, over & over in my head until my heart made a firm decision to really believe it.

Everything I’ve been clinging to and telling myself is bunk! Garbage! I don’t have to torture myself with doom (like I tend to do), I can rest and trust God that HE WILL DO MORE, EXCEEDINGLY ABUNDANTLY MORE with me….my life and my future.

I don’t know why I’m in Montana! God does. That’s all I need to focus on for now. The stuff I convince myself will never be or happen is foolish fodder for satan to squander over me. I don’t have to live in fear or sadness. My life is blessed and He is using every bit of my journey to push me on ahead.

I have the most persistent friends, both here & there (everywhere). Every time I think I’m going under….God uses someone who loves me to come alongside me and pull me out of the hole. I can’t take any credit for that, it’s all God. Proof HE sees me, loves me and is taking care of me.

I’ll end with this —— if you are wondering whether it’s important to have someone over for a meal or to invite them out to dinner, IT IS! Do it. Don’t hold your hospitality in for yourself or your family members. I’ve been in more homes since I’ve moved to Montana than I ever have the whole 20 years I lived in Indiana. I’m not exaggerating! I know it’s God, He gets me and understands my need for social interaction. My hubby, well….he is fine never seeing another human. So, for him to give up his free time to eat at friends houses and to go out for pizza when he really wants to work on that DANG SHED/noose around his neck, is a gift to me!

I’m crawling out of the hole, slowly and with purpose. Keep praying for me because as you can see, satan is always lurking.

Oh and please, if you will….ask Him to do exceedingly, abundantly MORE than any of us could ever ask for.

The Great Betrayal

Monday, September 24th, 2018

I’m going to cut straight to the chase, have you ever been hurt by someone you love? I know the answer already, it’s yes. Every single person on this earth has felt the sting of a broken friendship or wrecked family relationship. It hurts. It slams us to the floor and it does something to our trust factor. We never quite get over it and the stench of it’s ugly smell lingers over us in our other relationships too.

Jesus knew all about betrayal.

I’ve written many times on mean girls and my own experiences with friends who weren’t really friends that hurt or wounded me for no reason. I say that and feel like I should clarify that I AM A HUMAN and I can almost certainly confess to my own hurtful behaviors against others too. I’m no candy striper in the world of relationships. I’ve lashed out, I’ve been a jerk and I’ve most certainly wounded those who love me too.

I’m not proud.

I’d guess that most of us have taken the arrow of a ONE TIME friend and wrestled with the WHAT JUST HAPPENED in our lives only to never get the answer. It’s okay to never know what happened. The best thing we can do is learn (in a healthy way) how to navigate the rotten experiences of relationships and NOT BE SOMEONE ELSE’S TOXIC friend next time.

I’ve been thinking of the different types of friends I’ve had throughout my life. I still have so much to learn and I trust that God will use every lesson to grow me MORE LIKE HIM and less like the people I meet or trust while I’m here on earth. People will let us down.

Maybe you know someone like these friends —>

User friend: the kind who really isn’t into being buds unless you have something she wants. She tends to only show up when she wants something from you. She will use you up (and probably play real nice until she’s finished with you) and do not be surprised when she shows off her WHAT HAVE YOU on social media or in your friend circles while never mentioning you had anything to do with it.

Always competing friend: the kind who will kill herself to one up you. She will tear you down to others and even act as if she really admires you. Don’t fall for it, it’s only a tactic she uses to gain more insider info on you. She can’t be happy cheering you on, it might make her less than important. Beware of her, she is a troubled soul that will stop at nothing to make you look bad.

Lying friend: the kind who has no issue telling untruths about you to anyone who will listen. She is sick, obviously. Her boundary lines are all confused, so she crosses them often and isn’t able to reason in her own mind the pain she’s inflicting by being dishonest about you or others. Remember, your kids see these things in adults. This is a good lesson for teaching your children about being honest.

Mean girl friend: the kind who I’m painting with one broad swoop because she is a force! This person generally plays all the types at some time or another in your relationship. She uses, competes…lies and is usually pretty mean about it. This does not have to be a friend either. It can be a family member.

Here’s what I know…

We are all capable of being bad people. None of us hold the moral high ground on relationships. Thankfully, God knew that. He experienced hurt too. My own relationship pains cannot compare to the night Judas betrayed Jesus. Just in case you needed some perspective (me too). I’ve admitted my own sin nature regarding relationships and I’m challenging myself to be better, to love others selflessly, to give and take with a God-like attitude and to recognize toxic people for what they truly are….broken and lost.

I have a much longer list of loyal friends than of those who are superficial surface ones.

Maybe you recognize them —>

Patient friend: the kind who never gets tired of listening to you (even if she wants you to zip it girl, get over it!) and loves you even when you flub up.

Generous friend: the kind who gives; her heart, time, money…whatever it is that is costly to her. She never adds up what you owe her (not just $$). She gives because she loves you and counts you as an important investment.

Praying friend: the kind who WILL BEAT DOWN heaven’s doors on your behalf. She will pray with you, for you and you better be reciprocating lady! Praying friends are the best you’ll ever have while walking God’s green earth!

Best friend: the kind that doesn’t keep score or hold your foolishness over your head. You can call her in the middle of a crisis and she is ON YOUR DANG TEAM no matter if you’re wrong or not. She will lovingly set you straight if you are though. Best friends are a gift from God and I am a living a life of luxury thanks to my LONG LIST OF BESTIES!!!

Next time you feel jilted by a “friend” remember this… God knows just how it feels to be kicked to the curb. He understands flaky people, he gets it that even those closest to you will turn on you. Don’t take it too personally. Let God sort them out, let him be the final judge and most of all figure out a way to forgive and move forward.

There is always a lesson.

Lord,
Do not let me get away with hurting anyone. Blanket me with despair until I get whatever is wrong in that relationship, right. Keep me on the path of righteousness and when someone hurts me, let me be an example of grace and forgiveness. Even if it hurts beyond what I think I can handle.
Amen

Less Alone

Thursday, September 20th, 2018

I went to bed last night thinking of how loved I felt. Within a 24 hour window, I had face-to-face conversations with all 3 of my grown kids! That doesn’t happen much, everyone is busy and living their lives. I realized just how incredible that gift of their time was to my soul. No one needed a reason, they just video phoned to chat.

What a blessing. {Thanks, sweet punks of mine!}

Somewhere right now there’s a frazzled out mom who thinks she’s screwing up all the good things in her kids. She has no idea if they’ll ever call her again once they move out. She’s tired, she’s fed up and she’s convinced she sucks as a mom! I know this because I felt it all too.

No one can prepare you for the empty nest days and I think I know why…

All the days before it are full of lessons, for them and for you. Some of the lessons are so painful and others are tiny and forgettable. Someday while on the phone or sitting at lunch with your grown kid, they’ll bring up something you totally forgot all about and it will hit you right between your eyes that they held onto that memory. If you had the mental capacity to dwell on everything, you’d probably just explode!

You’re never going to get everything right, not as a person or a parent. It would be mean to tell you to parent as if they are leaving you forever. They do eventually leave and the whole relationship changes. You either have great new young adult friends or jerks who avoid you – it’s all up for grabs. All families have junk, so, if yours is all a mess…don’t beat yourself up.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is this…you are not alone. Whether your kids are living closeby and completely immersed in your everyday life or whether they live on the other side of the world from you and can only talk once in a great while. Every one of us has a system that is customized to our own needs in life. If your kids hate you, trust me…someone else’s kids hate them too. All you can do is try your best to heal whatever is broken. If you can’t fix it, love from where you are right now.

I pray you feel less alone.

It is hurtful to think you have the lone club membership to troubles. God is always working in our lives. He can heal broken hearts and jumbled up relationships. If we trust Him, He can make beauty from ashes. I know this because of my own relationship with my mom. It was so ugly and toxic for most of my life. I thank God for closing our chapter together with true forgiveness, love & respect. Something I never thought could happen.

I’ve learned in my 51 years that we are all capable of being horrible. We’re human and frail. We treat people we love like we don’t and we fall short of admitting wrong in the most vulnerable instances. I know that my own kids carry scars from my crappy mom moments, I also know that they are wise & understanding people who offer forgiveness.

No one gets it all right.

Remember, when you’re rolling around in the dirt of all aloneness — the truth is, you’re really not alone.

Lord,
Help me love the person who feels alone in their troubles. Thank you for always making beauty from the ashes of my own life too.
Amen

I Ain’t Running No Mouse House

Monday, September 17th, 2018

Well, it was only a matter of time.

As my true love and I snuggled in bed Friday night, I had a thought about critters. The kind that get inside your DWELLING and try to do a terrorist takeover of all your good crap. Hubby laughed and said, “No worries!”. Imagine my surprise about 30 minutes later on one of mamaw’s runs to the restroom in the semi-dark….when a tiny little dark thing ran by my foot!!!

I jumped from the throne and hit the lights, while screaming for help as the little monster ran for his life under my seat at the table!! As in, under the cabinet where every important thing I need stored is hidden!

Oh ya. We party on Friday nights usually and of course this was a wing-dinger of a celebration!

It’s been one long sad week since Ms Lizzy died and look what happens!

MOUSE TAKEOVER!

So, there we were in the middle of the night….literally tearing out every nook and crevice of the camper searching for the terrorist! We found nothing! Not a dropping of poop, a skinny little shaky tail…not a single thing! I slept with one eye opened all night and woke up feeling dead the next morning! I watched some other RV’r videos on rodent invasions and developed a plan Galloway style. Why? The videos I watched were clearly people who DO NOT kill animals and WE ARE NOT THOSE PEOPLE!

We kill mice! Dead, bye….no, you can’t live here! We are full at the Inn!

Now, I feel it’s important to say that we are not trashy! Really. We are clean. We have clean stuff and I hope this isn’t like that if you have to tell people you’re a lady, you’re probably not one kind of thing cause…I MEAN IT, WE ARE DECENT PEOPLE. WE LIVE IN A BRAND NEW CAMPER!!

Mice don’t care!

They want luxury. Nice houses, perfect spot to steal, poop and enjoy the finer things of life. Especially, when you live in the country! Montana is pretty much all country but we live 6 miles from town. So, country mouse came lookin’ for a good spot!

Saturday night we set out a trap and went to bed.

No catchy a thing!

I went to the table to take my pills that I organized the night before and over half were missing!

Oh my gosh! It got real! I screamed again! What kind of mouse steals pills? Is he a druggie on the run from an intervention? Does his family know? Is this my future? A mouse drug dealer?

I quit!

Hubby hopped up and started searching around again while trying to look as if he had the whole situation under control. It was clear, we were stepping into a mouse war. Since it was our 29th anniversary, we decided to take off for Yellowstone and Beartooth Highway for the day. I opened my makeup drawer and there was my chewed up makeup sponge!

Lines were drawn!

Wanted posters hung!

Big guns came out!

4 traps were set! 1 with string attached in case he tried to GET AWAY!

We’re brutal. I feel no shame. I hate rodents. I live in a flippin camper! I CAN’T JUST LET THEM RUN MY HOUSE!!

After a whole day gone, we came home to all empty traps again!

We invited the Lord into the situation and went to bed.

I’ve shaded his face out of respect. He probably has a family and if they read my blog, well…you know. Painful.

So, here we are celebrating the death of not one but two mice!

Happy 29th anniversary to us!

Oh and just to tell you how brazen these little devils are….my hubby moved his briefcase on his side of the table and found a little pile of my missing pills. He had nibbled on a few of them and left the rest to taunt me!

Evil.

Today, I’m buying bacon! We’re upping our game with these critters. It’s war! And like the southern rebel I am, I’m going to fight to the death!

Give Yourself to Others

Friday, September 14th, 2018

If you ever feel like your life is in the toilet, go volunteer somewhere and see the truth of all the ways your life is superior to many. I’ll be the first to admit, things can get real hairy in big life struggles. Still, there’s always someone else struggling more and hurting deeper than me or you.

So next time you’re tempted to feel real sorry for yourself… Go, work a food line. Meet people who are just as human as you and see, God is good in every circumstance of our lives.

It’s perspective.

Time For An Upgrade

Thursday, September 13th, 2018

A few years ago, I dropped a very hot curling iron on my arm while doing my hair. The contact was quick but the lasting scar is still with me today. Everytime I wear short sleeves or a swimsuit, there’s that ugly large barrel burn on my upper arm. It boldly sticks out and there’s no hiding it without wearing 3/4 length sleeves or longer. My hubby hates it. Not because it’s ugly (which it is) but because it reminds him that something hurt me and he couldn’t do anything to prevent it.

I have scars elsewhere too. Some of them have scabbed over and others are still festered and raw. These are the scars on my heart. I’ve tried healing them up on my own but that’s impossible. Only God can soothe and repair the scars from hurt & disappointment. His love, mercy and grace are like a healing ointment to every ugly scar I carry.

If you’re a breathing human here on the earth, you’ve fought some battles too. Heartache, loss, brokenness, illness, stress…the stuff that knocks us down and tries to destroy us all play a huge role in our faith. For many, these are the things that send them running to the cross and yet, some just fall deeper into a hole.

My journey the last 2 years taught me so many good faith lessons. I admit, I wanted to give up (in my head) so many times. I just couldn’t do it, though. Something kept me going, well… a lot of things kept me going. My faith was stretched so big that even I couldn’t believe it was mine. I’m a worm in comparison to many in faith in Christ. I’m weak and I’m flighty. I tend to throw my proverbial crap down and cry NOOOOOOOO MORE! I can’t take anymore! (ask my kids or hubby) The Lord must really enjoy my drama! Or is that just more of his mercy?

I don’t have what it takes (on my own) to pound down the tragedies of life. I require help. Maybe you do too. When I’m at my weakest, God has shown up for me and pointed me back to His love and grace over my life. He is always working. He is always waiting for me to seek Him out and follow His lead.

I needed an upgraded faith.

The only way my heart will ever heal is through thankfulness. I’m thankful for all the ways God came through for me and continues to do today. His plan for my life is still unfolding and I’m blessed to watch and experience Him in so many new ways. I may carry scars, like the one on my arm – forever, but His love for me reminds me that I AM NEVER ALONE or ON MY OWN with my struggles.

My scars are the best reminder of His goodness.

This next season of my life will be good. The last one was good too.

God
You heal every hurt in your own time and way. Thank you for all the ways you came through for me and for the times I thought you didn’t. I needed to grow and I probably wouldn’t have without a few battles in my life. Thank you for the upgrade!
Amen