Good Boundaries

Say this with me:

Whew, that’s some truth! How often do you waste time and mental energy worrying about what other people think? If you’re anything like me, you spend more time than you should there and I am here to tell you…..knock it off!

If I were totally honest, I worry way more about what my family thinks of me than anyone outside of that circle. Oh, don’t get me wrong…I rack up a lot of stress over other’s too. But the big worry I tend to have most is what my impact or presence has made upon my family. Did I say something hurtful? Stupid? Thoughtless? Do they think I’m annoying? Do they want to avoid me? Are they mad at me? Am I missing cues? Do they hold in feelings that cause a divide because they feel uncomfortable to share?

I could go on…but you get the point.

These kinds of thoughts can really mess with your heart. I have a Phd in sensitivity! I’m deeply empathetic and intuitive to what other’s say and don’t say. I pick up on stuff (this almost feels like a curse) and I have a hard time separating my feelings and the actions/attitudes of others. I take things that come my way pretty personally. I wish so much that I didn’t. I really want to be more carefree and unaffected by the stuff going on around me. It’s just not how I am built.

This week, I caught myself feeling all stressed out over honoring my kids on some made up holidays. I spent so much time (wasted it, actually) scrolling for pictures to share on social media and if I know them like I do, they really don’t care. Not the kind of “don’t care” that is flippant or mean. Just, the kind that has real knowledge of their special place in my heart…not one of them need me to post a pic of them to reveal some secret love I feel. THEY ALREADY KNOW. I love them, cherish them and honor each of them because of who they are in my life. Still, I felt the need to play along with this foolishness. It may be meant as fun, but it got me going in all the wrong directions.

I do not have to do that. Neither do you.

I am here to love the ones God gives to me and not to get caught up in trying to force them or anyone to play by my rules. My obligation is first to God. He is the one. I owe all my allegiance there, to Him. The family, the people, the world that I live here with….are gifts that I am to love & honor but not one of them is above God. I cannot live up to a world’s standard. If you’ve ever tried to please the world, you know…it is NOT POSSIBLE.

It’s time we put boundaries in place. For me, I need to stop throwing myself in a pit of worry. If someone doesn’t like me or get me…that is not really my problem. If I am doing what is right (not in my thinking, but God’s) I do not have to feel bad all the time or wonder if someone is pleased or not pleased with me. That is just unhealthy thinking. I belong to Christ. It’s HE who judges me, my heart and my actions. I need to focus on pleasing him and not this world.

Maybe you do too.

Be free, Jesus paid a hefty price for you & for me to live this life. John 10:10, The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it in abundance.

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