And this is what will kill me

May 28th, 2015

I don’t even know where to start.   It’s beginning to feel as though oozing floorboards are just normal.

For the grand total of 4 times, we rip out what my hubby so lovingly hammered down and paid for with his blood sweat and my tears.

It’s unbelievable.  

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I didn’t even lose my cool (this the 4th time).  My neighbors, they didn’t see me outside wailing and flopping around on my front lawn.  Why?  How?

Because I’ve ridden in this rodeo a time or four and I’m now on professional level with getting bucked shy high.

Come At Me Floor troubles!

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What you can’t feel from this photo is the deep cushy squishy water underneath this laminate.

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Miss Lizzy gave us notice that she’s moving at the end of the month.  The chronic tragedies are wearing her down.   She wants to live “LA Vida loco” 
Her words, not mine!

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You might be glad to know that THIS flood wasn’t for naught.  It revealed last summer’s mystery floor damage.

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The a/c unit froze, the drain pipe was blocked. … the water leaked silently for who knows how long.   Sneaking it’s way under all the foyer and living room floors.

I want vengeance.

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So does Lizzy.   She’s furious!

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Don’t feel sorry for me though.   Stuff happens.   Floors flood 4 times sometimes.   I’m going to sing praises for the lesson.

When I figure that lesson out, I’ll let you know.  If I make it through Construction Project #4 Summer 2015.

im ok

Wishing Away for Summer

May 27th, 2015

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I may be a little ahead of myself here….summer OFFICIALLY begins for me on June 1st. The last 3 days of school are just lingering over my head like any minute could throw me into real clothes and responsibility to be somewhere ON TIME.

I’m not worried. I simply want to go ahead and begin to live as though nothing gets in the way of forcing me to be bossed around. Not that subs get bossed much, it’s the schedule. The schedule must be followed and everybody knows…..I’m not the best at following. Blame it on my mother. I want to be out front, running fast ahead. So, indulge me as I blow your mind with my WISH LIST for this summer. Nothing may ever come of any of it, that’s part of the joy of wishing, right?

Here goes.

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Hot pink paisley camera strap

I love everything about etsy. Don’t you?

vera pinky

Vera Bradley Quilted Emma Mini

Don’t even go into a Vera Bradley store right now. The new leather will kill your vibe, it’s so gorgeous!! I only posted one purse….. there are 10 other items I want just as bad.

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SMOCKED CURTAINS!!! Pottery Barn online only

It’s only been 18 months of me trying to decide what I wanted for the master bedroom. On sale, baby!

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Oh just a day or twenty HERE!

shiny shoe

Of course, I’ll need some sassy sandals for all my bike rides and dinners out on the town. Zigi Rhinestone Flats

savings

Fatten up my savings account!
Inspire my kids to fatten up THEIR savings account!

And I wish to do a whole lot of this –>

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What are you wishing for this summer?

I’m Letting Go, Really

May 26th, 2015

I’m dead tired. Not a good dead tired either. My brain hurts, my body aches and my heart is all shredded into pieces.

So, how was your long weekend?

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While most families were having a grand old time celebrating the long weekend, mine was all wonky with emotions. There were arguments, exhausting and messy packing, misunderstandings, biting comments and total disregard for what anyone else might be feeling.

That’s family, I guess.

I suppose my weekend was just another little lesson in letting go. I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of doing just that. Now, not so much.

Growing pains really are a pain.

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This morning, I woke up with a little better perspective. My happiness depends on me. It’s not anyone else’s job to make me “feel” joy. It’s not fair for me to put that pressure on anyone around me. However, I can expect to be treated well.

I’ve asked myself some questions this morning. The kind that require SELF EXAMINATION. Ouch, to that…right?

* Were my expectations too high? Probably, but I only have limited time with all 3 of my kids. It’s normal to feel dissed when other activities take the place of time with each other.

* Am I being a toxic mom? Perhaps. Not every question or comment is laced with condemnation. I pray that God would reveal any manipulative word or guilt-filled comment from my mouth (if I speak them to my kids).

* Do I owe my kids anything? I am learning that I owe them respect and room to grow. I have boundaries but so do they. It’s important that those boundaries work both ways.

* Is my heart pure with my frustrations with my kids? I’m praying on this one.

* Do I need to back off? Yes.

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Mama’s, no matter what age your kids may be….growing pains sneak in and cause havoc. We can either fight it like a madwoman or we can bow out gracefully and LET GO. I’m working on bowing out. Every. Day.

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Can you see the heart? I found it this morning after I took this picture of my pink peonies by my porch. (Thank you Lord, Your love is everlasting!)

letting go

Guess WHO’s Home?

May 23rd, 2015

gavin jeepin

I think you can tell by the photo that HE LOVES his new jeep! After driving all night long from Texas to Indy, he spent the entire day & evening working on it. No, it’s not broken down. Guys just like to take stuff off and add new when they get a new toy.

This morning, he’s up and off with his best gal, Gracie riding shotgun.

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I think they’ll both be happy with their new wheels.

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Did I mention I think I WANT MY OWN JEEP NOW?

Oh me!

I’m No Fun

May 22nd, 2015

I’ve got a new attitude! I told my hubby last night that he’s a fun dad and I’m, well…..not always a fun mom. Gasp! It’s true!

Mom’s just don’t think like dad’s. We’re….practical, logical and always looking for the “safe” way of getting through life. Dad’s? Not so much. They have a little boy inside of them that allows them the freedom to throw caution to the wind (in many instances) when it comes to certain decisions.

You know…. MAN BRAIN —>

Cake for breakfast? That works. It has eggs, milk and other “healthy” ingredients. Ok, go for it, kids!

Sleep in your clothes? Sure. What’s it going to hurt?

Jump off the roof into the pool? Of course! Let’s go!

Camp out in the TREE HOUSE? Yes, yes, yes!

Women never think like that (at least, none that I know do).

WOMAN BRAIN –>

They can’t eat cake for breakfast!! It’s all sugar! They need something of substance!

No, they can’t sleep in the clothes they’ve been wearing all day. I just put clean sheets on their beds!

OMG! Jump off the roof? NO, NEVER, NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Are you kidding me? Sleep up in that high tree house? Someone will roll out! No, forget it!

And…..I drop the microphone!

See the difference?

Mom’s are on the job when it comes to keeping everyone safe and alive another day. It’s like God knights us with extra safety powers and as long as we are “mothering” we have that power.

Case in point:

Gavin, our 25 (in 9 days) year old son. He’s been “vehicle” shopping. His little BMW sports car just will not cut it down in Texas on a big working ranch. Cowboy ranch/hunting club + sports car? Not a good combo. As a mom, I felt certain that what he needed was a good truck. Something big and solid that he could haul whatever he wanted and that would be S A F E !

What does he want?

A jeep!

Not even a more practical one with 4 doors. The small sporty one that all guys want to play in. Yea, I shot that idea D O W N ! Because, I’m not the fun mom, remember?

After arguing his point and reminding me he can afford it, I took my case to his dad. He listened to me, agreed with much of my thinking but then he said, “He’s 24 years old! Why does he need a practical car?”.

Huh? WHAAAAAAAT? Who are you? Aren’t you the dad? SAY NO! You’re the leader of our household, dangit!

So, I let it go. I threw my hands in the air and told myself (because I’m rational) he’ll find something else and forget the stupid jeep idea. If I’m just patient and willing to let God take care of it, it’ll work out.

There are times in a mother’s life that she has to let go. Honestly, it’s a never-ending job. I’ve found that you don’t just LET GO once, it’s over & over & over. Different situations call for different kinds of letting go. If you’ve not experienced this yet, just wait. You will.

During my let it go period, I started to think of all the reasons my hubby was right. It’s his money, it’s his 25 year old body that has to bounce around in a dude jeep every day and ultimately, it’s his decision. Who am I to be a wet blanket?

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Guess WHO wants a jeep now?

Yea, old wet blanket!!

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Imagine Your Life

May 21st, 2015

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Life is full of big moments.

It also comes with built in low points. It’s just the way it is here on earth.

I’ve just finished a great book. It’s a story about the author’s grandmother, Maude. It popped up on my Facebook feed for a whopping .99 cents over the weekend and I grabbed it. I didn’t know the author and I really don’t usually choose this sort of book. However, the story captivated me and held me hostage until the last word was read.

I loved it!

Maude’s story opened up a whole boatload of emotions inside my heart. I loved her innocence and her honesty. She didn’t have a great life but she made the best of it as she could. Her story is not unlike many women of her day. Marriages were arranged or taken on as a duty. For her, it worked out wonderfully until tragedy struck. I don’t want to tell you any details in case you want to read it for yourself. But, her life takes some turns that will remind you just how good your own life is.

The decisions you and I make hold tremendous power over our forever lives. The people we choose to let into our lives can either ruin it or enhance it. For me, I thank God for the steps I made while young and naive. Not all of them were the wisest….but the man I chose, the kids God gave me and the family dynamic (not always perfect either) helped to give me a life full of love and joy.

the moment

Forever is a long time when it comes to living with a choice you’ve made. Maude lived to be a very old woman and one of the things missing from her life was love. She didn’t feel the love that she always longed for from the people in her life. I tried to imagine feeling like that and luckily for me, I couldn’t.

God has covered me with His love, my family’s love and even love from strangers. No time in my life have I ever wondered if anyone loved me.

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What decisions are you facing that hold a giant piece of your future at stake? Are you praying for direction from God? There’s always a chance to flub it up, don’t make a lifetime decision without Him.

PS-If you’re interested in reading Maude’s story, it’s still on sale for Kindle today at .99 cents.