Day 6 – That’s Funny

February 6th, 2016

marr iage

I don’t have any idea what your expectations were when you were single and wondering about marriage.

Maybe you thought —> Marriage is so easy. I’ll do it right and there will be no problems. My marriage won’t be anything like _______’s!

marriage funny

We all do that. We all think we’ve got the best plan for a happy relationship. Only…

Real life marriage is nothing like the in-your-head kind of marriage. It’s full of responsibilities and misunderstandings. Both of which can wear you down and test your loyalty. Not everybody can hack it. That’s why we see so many people call it quits. It’s hard to stick it out.

debt marry

Before I married my hubby….I thought I knew exactly what it would take to make me happy. He, turns out…would not have made the cut if I had stuck to that idea in my head. He’s just about as opposite of every thing on my husband wish-list that I had in mind.

Really, he’s better.

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The first thing that attracted me to my hubby was his sense of humor. He’s funny. He’s smart funny. He’s also silly funny when I need it most. I loved that about him then and I really appreciate it about him now.

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Laughing in marriage is good, really good. Hard times will knock you both around without warning. Sad stuff will happen and one or both of you will lose hope a time or two. Having someone to love that makes you laugh might be the single strand that holds you together some days.

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Today’s challenge: Make each other laugh

Send your spouse something funny in a text.
Play a funny video.
Do that thing that always cracks him up.
Tell him a joke.
Smile at him. Every time you see him this weekend, smile.
Laugh at HIS JOKES.
Let your kids see you having fun.
Be happy.

marriages annoy

Day 5 – DATE NIGHT

February 5th, 2016

jeepers

My in-laws have it figured out. They go on dates. It doesn’t have to be anything special, they just get in their car and drive off. We love to tease them about their hotdog lunches at Costco. The truth is, we feel inspired by their ability to make anything a “date”.

Of all the people on the earth our spouse is the one that is OUR PERSON. No one else should ever come before them…not our kids, family members, jobs, hobbies…nothing! So, why do we neglect one another so easily? Why do we push “us” to the back burner?

Day 5 challenge: DATE NIGHT

I know it’s Friday night. I get it, you’re tired! Most of us (those of us who’ve been married, have jobs, fulfill a million other responsibilities) are wiped out by Friday night. But, listen to me on this one.

GO OUT ALONE, TOGETHER!

If you’re too danged tired to do it tonight, go tomorrow night after you’ve spent all Saturday in your pj’s at home. Get dressed (like, “gussy up” get dressed) and go out just the two of you for a nice dinner. Heck, even go see a movie.

You won’t regret it.

What you will regret? Is staying home weekend after weekend never ever going on a date together. Why? Because, when your kids grow up and move out….you are going to look back on a pretty boring history together and wonder what in the heck did you do to take better care of each other. That’s why.

Dates build memories.

Dates make you feel special.

Dates give you something to look forward to.

Dates remind you why you got hitched.

Dates show your kids that something is very special about your relationship.

Dates spice up everything.

Dates make interesting stories.

Dates show the world YOU BELONG TO SOMEONE.

Dates are a healthy way of reconnecting.

Dates do NOT have to be expensive.

Dates are romantic.

Dates are adventures.

Dates build up excitement.

Dates bind us to one another.

Dates push us to make something happen.

Dates are a great investment in making it for the long haul!

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So, what are you waiting for? Grab your true love and go out tonight!

Oh and a few tips:

Hold hands
Look into each others eyes
Put down your phones
Share a meal or dessert
Kiss, often
Don’t talk about kids
Get crazy

Day 4 – Bucket List

February 4th, 2016

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Way back when my hubby and I were dating, we’d go out on adventurous dates late at night. One of our favorite things to do was climb up on top of the bank building in our small town and look at the world from way up high. It wasn’t a skyscraper, by any means….but it was one of the highest locations in our area and NO ONE else ever went up there.

It was “our thing”. Maybe a little weird, but it was our way of seeking out something to do together. Oh, and it was FREE!

We live in a new world now. Smartphones have taken us by storm. Instead of climbing up on roofs to dream together, we sit staring at our screens (not just my hubby and me – the whole world)….lost in a silly post or article that in the end, really means nothing to our relationships. Cellphones are not wicked little devils out to destroy us but the truth is that we ALLOW them to steal precious moments we can never get back. All because we’re mesmerized by what we see on our little tiny screens.

A lot of relationships are in the tanks.

What if we decided to dream together again? Every couple needs a common goal or two. I don’t think you need me to tell you that YOUR KIDS MOVE out someday, that before you know it….you’ll be alone with one another.

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Tonight, instead of laying on the couch with one eye on the tv and the other on your cellphone screen – how about sitting down together and creating a bucket list?

Day 4 Challenge: Create a Couples Bucket List

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The idea here isn’t to plan a lavish vacation. Unless that’s your big dream. This is an opportunity to focus on something that doesn’t involve the hum-drum droll of everyday life. What “something” would you love to do together? Where would you like to go? What would you like to see?

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You might find out that sharing a united goal puts you on a path of making it happen. Stop sitting on your dreams!

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Day 3: PUSH ON, GIRL – It’s Wifey Wednesday

February 3rd, 2016

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What’s so special about a Wednesday? If you’re like me, probably not a lot. Other than it marks the half-way point in a busy or perhaps mundane week. I mean, it is known as hump day after all. Everybody’s just tryin’ to survive, right?

Just to show you how serious I am about this love and romance challenge, I’m going to name all the Wednesday’s in February Wifey Wednesday. Each week, I’m going to focus heavily on making my husband’s world spin a little faster with what I learn out there in marriage land. Through some sweet….

LINKY LOVE.

I read a lot of different blogs and some of my favorites are the ones that focus on marriage. God bless them. Talking love stuff can be so awkward. Many of the bloggers do a great job of writing quality posts while throwing in the perfect amount of humor. Because, marriage is funny.

The real challenge for today is to spice things up with some holy relationship blog reading. Follow the links that interest you the most or read them all. I wouldn’t post anything that’s inappropriate or x-rated ever. But, I’ll warn you…these blogs do write about ESS-EEE-EXX! So, shew! Go! Get to reading.

Bye, Felicia!

The Dating Divas

Hot, Holy & Humorous

The Generous Husband

Happy Wives Club

To Love, Honor and Vacuum

And if you’re looking for some ideas for stay-at-home date ideas:

Fulfilling Your Vows

Intimacy Ideas from Dating Divas

Physical affection

Unveiled Wife

Now, what in the heck are you supposed to do? Well, my hope is that somewhere in your blog reading you found out you’re normal. That your marriage is normal and that every person experiences many of the same hang-ups and disasters. It’s a good thing to explore ways to make your relationship its healthiest.

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Wifey Wednesday might become your new favorite day of the week.

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Day 2: Write It Down

February 2nd, 2016

write it down

Many years ago, my hubby and I did an experiment together that really amped up our relationship. We created our own AFFIRMATION NOTEBOOKS. Every day, he would write 5 positives about me (that he loved or appreciated) and I would do the same in my notebook for him. Then, we’d leave our notebooks out for the other to find and read. Sound corny? Well, it is a little but I promise….the results are pretty revealing.

Relationships take a lot of work. So does life. If we’re not careful, the long days of managing kids and jobs can steer us off course. The passion or admiration we have for our spouse can get pushed aside. Many marriages are struggling along just going through the motions because neither person has the strength to do much else.

I get it, not everyone likes writing. The good thing about the notebook experiment was that it didn’t involve long hours of writing and proclamation of undying love. It could be short with just a few words or sentences….or it could be long and sappy. It was the personalized – just for you thought that made it something to treasure.

Today’s challenge: WRITE IT DOWN

I’ve listed some hints or ideas for you to use. Pick one or try a few. It’s up to you. Just make sure that you’re completely handing over your heart to the one you love. Then, sit back and savor the results.

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Write a love letter.

The spiral book challenge. (that could be done by both or one of you)

Make a HUBBY GRATITUDE LIST.

Create a WHY I LOVE YOU statement.

Frame a poem (one you’ve written or not) that fits your love for him.

Text him 5 reasons you love him.

Need a few love note ideas? Go HERE

EXTRA:
This post can also be used to show love to your kids, parents or best friend. It’s all about customizing!

Day 1: How To SHOW Love

February 1st, 2016

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I’m so excited to launch this LOVE challenge into orbit (or the internet) for the whole world to see. Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time back & forth in my head trying to come up with ways to keep it classy and yet turn up the burner in marriages everywhere. Especially, my own.

I won’t lie. It was mayhem.

My brain can be a complicated place for many different reasons. I store up piles of unnecessary thoughts and wonderings. I get on tangents and I zero in on the craziest ideas. The good thing is, I can do that and still blog about it with some good content. I hope, anyway.

Did you know you’re unique? You’re designed and detailed with the finest little teensy weensy specific characteristics that make you – YOU! That’s good. Really good. But, did you know that the person or persons you choose to love will more than likely be completely opposite of you? As in, DAY & NIGHT different?

Oh yea, it’s true and that can complicate relationships. But, it doesn’t mean it will doom them.

Loving someone very different than yourself is common. People are doing it all over this world and doing it well. The struggle comes when one or both of the persons have no idea what makes the other one tick. What do I mean? LOVE LANGUAGE.

We each speak a particular language. Dr. Gary Chapman killed it with his book The 5 Love Languages. He wraps the world up in a tight little cocoon of every person generally feels or shows love in 5 different ways. And, man!!! Is he onto something?!

Are you wondering what your love language is? I hope so! Go HERE and take the quiz!

I’ll be honest, I really struggled in my marriage the first few years. Not only was I young and naive to the grown up world of marriage and real life….I had no idea what I needed to have my love tank filled nor how to show my husband the kind of love he craved. So, I floundered around miserably and in turn…missed out on loving my husband to the full extent.

Wonk wonk! :(

Once you take the 5 Love Languages Quiz – you can really be honest with yourself about HOW YOU FEEL LOVE and SHOW LOVE. Many of us are showing love the way we want others to love us. Which isn’t bad, but it isn’t always good either. Example: If your main love language is ACTS OF SERVICE and you iron all your husband’s shirts, make a delicious meal and mow the lawn (man, you’re a nice wife)….and he doesn’t respond with some serious gratitude or praises. You are probably going to be feeling pretty mad or resentful. And, unloved.

I know this firsthand. I spent a lot of time aggravated with my hubby because he didn’t care one bit about all the NICE THINGS I did for him. Guess whose love language is NOT acts of service? Yea, my hubby’s.

Knowing how you feel love is the first step in seeing outside of yourself to love others THEIR WAY and not yours.

So, to show love to your spouse….learn his or her language. Then, do what it takes to say I LOVE YOU in that language. You might be surprised how your relationship takes off in a positive way just by acknowledging each other’s differences. It’s not a big deal to have 2 or 3 different love languages than your spouse. It’s part of our uniqueness and often is what draws us to one another in the first place. Go with it.

Today’s challenge:

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND

Whatever your spouse wants today, do it. If it’s to take a walk or jog, go. Whip up his favorite meal, start cookin’! If it’s to spend intimate time together, get to it (minus the big sigh!). Make it your goal to step outside of you and what you want today and make his wish come true.

day 1 challenge