I don’t know too many chicks (in this world) that haven’t experienced mean girls.
Mean girls make life miserable. In school, work and in every crevice of life. It’s like they hold some sort of banked up power and they know how to wield it over the less brazen of us. If you’ve ever been tormented by a mean girl and her posse then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Mean girls smell fear. They usually pounce on the weakest little lamb and until someone intervenes or shuts them down they keep their focus solely on whatever victim they can dominate.
Mean girls love attention. Most of what a mean girl does in the form of torture to other girls is done for the attention of others. They are looking for anyone to catapult them to a higher level and ripping apart those weaker than them is a great way to elevate themselves.
Mean girls grow up. That’s right, they grow up and many times just turn into mean women. You know the kind….they play up to you, compete with you and talk about you behind your back. They may even be outright mean to your face!
Mean girls are never truly happy. I’ve said it before that hurting people hurt people. I’ve done my share of lashing out at people I love when I’m sad, mad, hormonal or hangry. It’s not completely the same but close. Unhappy people want to make other people unhappy.
Mean girls run in packs. Rarely is there a mean girl who reigns all by herself. She gets a lot of her power from her posse. Think back to school days, remember the gang?
Mean girls are created like you and me. The difference? Somewhere along the way, someone misled them into thinking that treating others like junk was acceptable. Then, as life carried them along…..NO ONE bothered to step in and put a lid on their bad behavior therefore creating the mean girl monster that solidified who they are.
So, why am I saying all this?
Because I want to remind women everywhere (all 7 of you reading) that being mean isn’t necessary. Neither is taking junk from meanies. If you find yourself in a circle of catty or snarky gals – find new friends. Women who mistreat other women are not friends you need or should associate with.
Oh and if you’re unable to come up with any mean girl friends….you might be one. How can you know?
Do you consider yourself a part of a clique?
Is your friend group exclusive? If so, that’s clique-ish. Avoid only hanging with certain friends. Instead be the kind of friend that says, “There YOU are!” when in the company of others instead of “Who’s that?”. (whisper whisper)
Do you struggle with envy? Most mean girls are very jealous in nature. If you find yourself always feeling jealous of other women, you might need to focus in on why. I like what Beth Moore says, “I’m not interested in competing with anyone – I hope WE ALL WIN!”.
Are you “appearance” focused? Do you pick your friends based on how they look or what they have to offer you? That’s a sure sign of something superficial inside you or me. Not everyone has the glam or cash to look fabulous – that doesn’t equal great friend either. Choose to see what GOD SEES in the people in your life. You’ll be surprised who your besties will be.
Do you find yourself in friendship troubles? If you’re avoiding a “good” friend or not speaking with someone….why? Is it you? Is it them? Is it chronic? There might be a problem and that problem may be you. Be a friend that loves at all times. (NOTE: Not a punching bag. Just a loyal kind of friend)
Does it give you a boost when you gossip about other women? Nobody ever looks good trying to make someone else look bad. It’s a sure way to tell if you’re a meanie. Listen to your own talk. Is it hateful? Is it full of criticism? Make a pact with yourself to only use PUT UPS and when you slip and use a put down, offer 2 put ups for every 1 put down. Got it?
PD – Liza has a terrible personality!
PU – Liza is always willing to help out, no matter the job.
PU – Liza is a great friend and listens to my venting.
After practicing positive speaking, it becomes a good habit. Try it.
And last, Do you have issues with control? Most mean girls want to run the show. If that’s you, uh-ho! Knock it off. Step back, let someone else have input. You’re only making yourself seem pushy or bossy. Back off and listen more than speak.
It’s time to bee a friend that’s known for being nice, helpful and accepting. The world doesn’t need anymore mean girls or women.
Am I right?