How do you feel about you? Do you see yourself as confident and sure? Or do you tend to hide out and slink back from situations that put you in the spotlight?
Studies show that having an encounter with something that negatively strikes our personal sensitivities fires up a defense mechanism that causes us to use self-defeat and self-destruction as a go-to form of coping….. which is a fancy way of saying we have a "little" – insecurity!
Every single person has something…..an experience or circumstance that wounded or twisted something inside them and filled that little secret spot with low self-esteem or self doubt. For some, that insecurity causes so much stress and discomfort that it becomes debilitating.
So, what do you do if you have a low self-esteem? How do you function in all the many circles that the world has for us? Life is not going to stop just because we feel weird in certain circumstances! What can we do…..to make it?
IDENTIFY – Identify WHAT IT IS that triggers your insecurity! It could be something easily remembered or something that you've pushed way down in your heart. Find out what it is and why it made you feel so crummy. Everybody has a story. The middle school years hold an ocean full of troubles for many adults who struggle with insecurity. What happens to us….affects us, forever. Figure it out and pray about it … using scripture!
REACT – Make a decision to NOT react in a negative way to yourself when facing situations that cause your mind self-doubt. Choose, ahead of time, how to positively reinforce GOOD THINKING instead of doom! A good practice? Write down 10 positive qualities about yourself! Or better yet, ask a friend (a good one) to list 10 qualities about you that they like. It can be your GO TO place for affirmation! I use to tell my students, "One put down equals two put ups!". If you think or say something negative about yourself…..you'll need to come up with two good qualitites!
AVOID – Don't go where you feel most vulnerable! Sounds easy to say, huh? If hanging out in certain groups of people bring you to a point of no return, stay away. Now, I don't recommend skipping work (Ha!) but learning to strategically choose your places of social interaction can help with confidence. Don't beat yourself up either! It's ok to not hang out where you are uncomfortable!
I don't have the keys to the confidence kingdom, really! I do however run in circles that cause me to doubt my own awesomeness ALL THE TIME! I catch myself saying silly things like, "Who are you? You're not as successful as SO & SO! You don't have this or that!". When the reality is that the people I'm around could care less about those things. They're my friends for other reasons and my insecurities have no place in our friendship.
The mind loves to toy with us, doesn't it?
And finally, if any of these techniques doesn't help you….find a friend who will pray you up and love you just like you are. You probably have a few of those doing just that already. Learn to lean on them when you are at your lowest. Nothing in this world is worth feeling like a loser over. Ever!
YOU ARE WORTHY!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
Go, live like that!