Don’t Whig Out

November 25th, 2015


Just to put your mind at ease…..


EVERY PERSON has the capacity to lose their cool. For some, it’s simmering on a back burner waiting for just the right infraction to cause a big boil over. For others, the stress-o-meter is ticking like a time bomb and one little bitty teeny weeny mistake will cause the neighbors to call the cops.

Don’t act like you’re family doesn’t get crazy. Every single person feels stress. Every family has a cornucopia of emotions, expectations and desires. Mix all that together and you have a recipe for disaster.

I’ve had my own moments of near meltdown already this holiday season. I believe that (and I’m a REALLY HIGH STRUNG CHICK) personalities mingling together can be a set-up for frustration. Maybe someone likes peas and no one else in the group does (not that – that happened in my house) or perhaps, someone took apart the table to do some repairs when you need a functioning table. I don’t know what your vice is, but you do.

Imagine not getting all upset.

Really, imagine it.


I want you to know, I get it that things get hairy. I live in the real world and I have real human people that I love and cherish in my own family. Probably just like you. We also know how to get on each others nerves better than anyone else on the earth. Where else can there be sarcasm, little digs and fun-poking? Family is the safe zone, right?

Here’s my advice:

Don’t participate. Yep, I said it. DO NOT FALL INTO THE WAGON OF PICKING ON ANYONE (every family has that person that gets all the ribbing). DO NOT MAKE SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING (even if you DO NOT like the dressing or gravy). DO NOT ARGUE WITH FOOLS (anyone who blah-blah’s their perfect opinion is being foolish). DO NOT BEHAVE IN A HOSTILE WAY (even if your blood is boiling). DO NOT WEAR YOUR FEELINGS ON YOUR DANGED SHIRT SLEEVE (this one is for me, probably not you). DO NOT LET THE LITTLE THINGS RUIN YOUR TIME WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE (don’t cry over spilled milk, you know?). DO NOT WALLOW IN THE PEN WITH PIGS (when someone pushes, walk away you don’t need to get dirty too). DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE LIKE A JERK (you’re going to feel jerky, suppress it. Smash it down). DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM (this is me again, sorry). DO NOT BE A PERSON THAT LOOKS FOR TROUBLE (borrowing problems seems to be easier when family is all crammed together). DO NOT GANG UP ON ANYONE OR JOIN RANKS WITH ANY SIDE OF ANY ISSUE (maybe certain topics should be off limits?). DO NOT MISS THE CHANCE TO ENJOY THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!!!

I don’t know how to help you keep the cops away from your Thanksgiving holiday. All I can do is suggest you take care of yourself. If family gets you too worked up, limit your time together. Spend a little time loving yourself; if you are a runner…take a jog. If you are an extra tense person, schedule a massage or even better spend some time with a special family member giving neck rubs and talking. Don’t let the pressure get so bad that you boil over and whig out.


Thank God for another year together. Tell the people you love that you’re thankful for them. Being thankful and showing it always helps me focus on the good in others and myself. And if you burn the rolls…fahhhgetaboutit!

family family

Stop Sleeping on the Bedspread

November 22nd, 2015

Messes weren’t allowed when I was a kid.

Just about every night I would sleep on top of my bedspread. I did it because I didn’t want to mess up my bed. If I pulled the covers back, I automatically felt stressed because my room wasn’t picture perfect like my mom expected it to be. For my little brother and me, playing with our toys involved nothing but aggravation from our mom. We had great toys and lots of them but taking them off the shelf opened her up to feeling like our whole house was out of sorts. For her, cleanliness was her euphoria.

I grew up with an enormous amount of pressure to be perfect.

Now that it’s almost Christmas time, the messiest time of the year. Somebody NEEDS to read this post. Somebody needs to lighten up on their kids, their self and the world.

clean it

I didn’t realize the pressure I grew up with until I brought my own kids home to my mother’s house when they were little. Instead of playing and having fun with them as they toddled around her perfect house, she followed them step for step straightening up every single thing they touched. Don’t get me wrong, her house was beautiful. Everything had a place and it was never out of that place unless my little chubby fingered kids touched it. It drove her crazy.

I would observe her as she followed them around and every “No no” transported me back in time to my own childhood with her. She was fanatical about our house and things. She loved having everything appear just as if it were a photograph in a magazine. For a kid, that’s NO FUN DUDES! Totally, no fun at all.

In case you didn’t know, there is a huge difference in a dirty house and a messy one.

A dirty house that hasn’t been cleaned is gross. A messy house is a house that people live in and use.

Whatever you’re doing as the mom in your family, be the kind who knows how to have a good time. Don’t place unrealistic pressure on your kids and family. Figure out how to enjoy the chaos. There’s NOTHING wrong with having a clean house but for goodness sakes – give your family the freedom to wreck the place and party it up.

Take it from me, you don’t want to leave your kids with a forever memory of sleeping on top of the bedspread.


When Talking Is Optional

November 11th, 2015

read my blog

My hubby is busy. He constantly has somewhere to be and someone to please. It isn’t easy being awesome, you know? When he finally lands at home his brain is pretty much spent. Yet, he tries to join the ranks of my “did you call?” and “can you fix?” home life even though I know….he’s exhausted.

Just like every family trying to shake and bake it in this world, we struggle to make it by covering all the bases we can and sometimes that means letting some things go. Some conversations just can’t happen. They require too much time and brain power. For me, for him….for everyone.

Many times as we fall into bed….he will tell me that he enjoyed something I wrote or posted somewhere and that charges my heart battery because of all the people I want to please with my words, it’s him (don’t misunderstand, I want to please HIM [Jesus] first and foremost). But, my hubby’s praise sends me zinging!

We can laugh about the stories I write because they usually involve something that we haven’t really had time to discuss or linger over like we’d like to do. So, thank you Honey for reading my words. I know you’re busy and I also know that you give a rip about what makes my heart tick, so you read the words I write and you always boost me high when reporting back.

I love that about you.

Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up

November 9th, 2015


Our baby.

She finally turned 1 2.


Okay, so she’s a little older than that.


If you ask me, it takes a special kind of nerve to just catapult yourself to your 21st birthday right before your mother’s eyes. What the what?


Every birthday should be so special. How did we get here already? 21? No more princess cakes? No party games?


Family, friends and decorations. All just the way you want them.


You only turn 21, once….right?


No worries, your dad will still play pranks on you. Like buying a decoy watch to give you before he gives you the fancy Daniel Wellington watch you really wanted.


Some grown up girls even decorate their own birthday cake because…bossy. Isn’t it beautiful?


Both the cake and birthday girl. Just gorgeous!


Of course it got a little hippy with all the glow sticks.


And snuggly by the fire for some football.


The party ended and the house got quiet. Balloons, flowers and glow sticks still hung around…..

And my heart swelled with pride that my last baby turned 21. I’m not sad, now we can get seating anywhere when the restaurants are full. Woohoo, legal eagle girl!!

gates kinderg

Happy Birthday Gates! I love you so much!

I Love Today

November 4th, 2015

i love today

I’m throwing back the biggest prescription of Prednisone because you know….I’m an invalid with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. It’s no biggie, I just can’t take Ibuprofen and guess who couldn’t sleep last night because of killer leg pain all night and then a banging headache this morning?

Yea, Me!

Who cares? I’m in Grand Rapids Michigan and right down the road is a brand spankin new Tanger Outlet Mall that just opened it’s doors. I am pushing on through all the mad medical boohoo and shopping until the go home bell rings. See. I’m no quitter!

Wednesday’s hold hope, you know?

I have to tell you about my phone faux pas. I have the grand ability of making it do things when I’m not even using it, like…take photographs without actually planning to take photos. Yesterday on our drive north, I put my phone in the side door handle of the car and rode along (not knowing that I’d bumped the camera app) trying to give my hubby the cold shoulder because I was still ticked at him for being a man the day before and the LORD LET IT BE that several photos clicked away and revealed my crummy attitude. BUSTED!

There were no words being spoken, just silence. That’s part of my evil super power. Fail :(



wife 3


How about that? There were actually 15 of these embarrassing pictures. Talk about conviction!!? When I discovered my ugly heart frozen in time on my cell phone I almost cried. What in tarnation is wrong with my bratty heart?

Thank you for reminding me in the most disturbing of ways that my attitude towards my husband needs to be adjusted. Forgive me for trying my best to be as miserable as I possibly could in order to punish him.

Note: When you’re upset with someone, try to soften your heart and get over it. Or else you might find yourself in a photo album that you didn’t mean to pose for.

Caught Ya

November 2nd, 2015

Surely, by now….you’ve heard about the home surveillance video of the trick-or-treaters left to take a candy bar on the honor system.  

Bad idea, huh?


The honor system.  Hmm, perhaps it could work.


But, if you’ve watched the video….then you know what happened to the big fat full-sized candy bars left by the very thoughtful homeowners.

A mother came along and loaded her bags with all the candy (which looked to be many boxes of candy bars).  Boo hiss, right?

Major fail, mama.  Really, what a moment to remember forever in your child’s mind.  It’s not hard to figure out where society falls flat with the lack of integrity or even respect for police and government.


I’m not sure what this stealing mama thinks of her newfound fame all over YouTube and news stations but I’m betting she’s not ashamed.  It can’t be ignored that a person who steals would limit their wicked behaviors to just stealing.  Anyone who takes something that doesn’t belong to them will do pretty much anything else illegal or unethical.   It’s only a peek into the heart of a person’s scales of justice.

In the video, it appears hungry mama instructs the child with her to fill up his own bag.  Clearly, the child takes the opportunity to feed his own natural instinct of greed seeing that mama is doing the same.

Stealing is an act of greed.  No matter how big or small.  Anytime a person helps them self to an object that isn’t theirs…..they are ultimately saying that they deserve it and the person who owns it is just getting what they deserve.  It’s a heart issue, just like hating another person or killing someone.  The heart is depraved (yours and mine), without the saving power and grace of God we are destined to stay in our naturally wicked state. As is our society.

What does any of this matter?  I’m glad you asked.  If you’ve ever had something stolen from you then you know how it feels.  It’s violating.  Each of us have a responsibility to teach honesty in our own homes.  It’s up to us to instill integrity in our kids and grandkids.  They will do exactly as they see – so be diligent with your own honesty and character.

I can’t imagine anyone wanting to get caught (on video or in person) with their hand in the candy jar.