Hard-hearted

I’m in the battle!  I feel like I’m losing too.  Work has been rotten!  I can’t think of anything nice to say about it….except that two of my own children are there.  I love being connected to them.  But, nothing else feels right!  It’s starting to affect me in all aspects of my life.

I feel like I keep travelling the same circle of junk!  I get stressed out, start thinking and feeling meanish and then start to feel guilty for being such a jerk of a person!  I hate it!  I’m generally a nice and patient person.  But my current situation is beginning to overwhelm me.

Work sucks!

The position I have…..is tough!  People all around me are floundering too.  It’s not just me.  Other’s are struggling to cope or make it out alive….just like me.  I keep clinging to the end of school countdown, 16 more days!  Sounds pretty do-able, huh?  Until my alarm goes off in the morning and then I start to feel ill (and I’m not a call in sick kind of employee….but man, I want to every single day)!!

Misery!

I’m in serious prayer about what to do ABOUT MY FUTURE!!  I don’t think I’m cut out for this position (I wasn’t hired for it in the first place….I was thrown in without a choice) but I HAVE A JOB!!  I’m starting to rethink that oft repeated statement.  It’s becoming more like…

I’m barely hanging on….

Lord, help me not to become the person I feel like everyday.   Snarly and hard-hearted.  I miss being a happy person.  My family does too.  Fill me with your goodness and mercy.  I need it and so do those who have to be around me.  I’m sorry for falling short.  Amen.

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