Everyday that I've lived in this new place, I've imagined meeting my neighbors. In my mind, the stars would all be aligned and I'd have on makeup and look cute & stylish….and of course, THEY WOULD LOVE ME INSTANTLY! Because, being liked is really important…right?
Yea, that's not at all how it went down!
I was on the phone with my daughter (who only called me out of "boredom" – her admittance) when I saw something moving outside in the back woods behind my house. I've been eyeing those woods for weeks now…hoping, waiting & praying that sometime or another a wild animal would visit there for me to sing my praises to Jesus for sharing His creatures WITH ME ME ME! Those who know me, know, I guage a large part of my happiness on God showing off His wild animals with me FROM MY VERY OWN WINDOWS!! So, catching a glimpse of something running ( a large something ) gave me all the reason to jump up and investigate my animal spotting.
Only, it was a huge long-haired dog! A beautiful, wildly running and happy dog. He (she) was free and seemed to be running "away" from somebody but I couldn't be for sure so I just watched to see what would happen next. When it ran right up to my backyard fence and headed for my front door, I thought it was my neighborly duty to help catch it (you know, just in case they were chasing it). Except when I opened my door and saw how big it was…..I second guessed my decision and stepped back inside, cause mama ain't no dummy, y'all!
I put on my leopard print snow boots over my red stripedy pajama pants & an old heavy coat and walked out to check my mailbox. Who knew how exciting it could be to have a giant pile of mail? On my way back inside, I noticed my neighbors garage door open and someone standing by the car. I waved and she waved back and together we walked to the street (too much snow between us) to actually chat and meet. It's probably a good time to mention how haggardly I looked. No makeup, dirty hair pulled up in a not pretty pony and my rockin' outfit of misfit items. It was delightful!
I bit the bullet (in all my ugly) and stuck out my hand to meet her. She was a tiny pretty lady with a big smile and a warm personality. I immediately made it all awkward by tearing up when she told me the ages of her kids (and I remembered MINE ARE ALL GROWN AND GONE!) enough so, that she walked over and hugged me. Yea, that happened! We talked for a few minutes about who we were and then she told me, "I'm moving, we're getting a divorce!". I probably cried again, but I can't remember. It was almost like she said, "We can never be friends, cause…..I gotta go!". (Which, she didn't!) That's just the weak mental state I was in, y'all!
She was embarrassed and probably a little humiliated to have to tell her new neighbor that news and I can only imagine what she thought of my mental stability for crying over CHANGE. But it was done! We met, we made friends (for as long as it can be) and then she told me the fate of all the other empty houses around me…more divorces!
I came back inside and thanked God for my marriage. It's been a work in progress for the last 24+ years but it's the best decision I've ever made and I hurt…..deeply for people who don't make it. Especially when there are children involved. My grown kids mean the world to me (hence, why I'm missing those punks) and I can't fathom them not having their dad & me intact as their parents. How confusing, how painful, how heartbreaking it would be for them to lose their family.
My longing to meet someone new opened my eyes to the pain around me, already. It never fails that God puts me someplace where people are hurting and need the kind of friend that I know how to be.
Forgive me, Lord…for feeling sorry for myself and thank you for trusting me enough to love those who need it more than me.
Amen