660 Days

It’s been 660 days since my mother left this earth and made her voyage to heaven. One year, nine months and twenty-one days. All this time, I’ve thought of her as “just leaving” a few days ago. But time charges on and the hours, minutes and days keep growing farther apart.

my girls

It’s true what some say….time does help to ease the shock of death. However, it doesn’t change the emptiness that the heart feels. The absence of someone you love never really goes away. It follows you wherever you go.

My mother was a very unique lady. She never held back what she was thinking. Her mouth was her biggest downfall (wonder where I get it). You never had to wonder how she felt about something because SHE WOULD TELL YOU!

my mouth

I remember as a kid feeling embarrassed when my mother would get upset over something and react in a way that scolded someone else. I would wish that I could disappear and vanish from the situation. She was a firecracker who wasn’t afraid to let someone have it. Now that I’m all grown up, I can see how her actions were her way of defending what she felt needed defending.

mother-1

The last week of her life, her ability to communicate came and went. I showed her a funny video of one of my daughter’s dancing in a pair of shorts she got for Christmas. The joke was that the shorts were awful. To be silly and mock the way they looked, she danced in them as if they were wonderful. My mother looked at the video and thought for a moment, then said, “Get rid of that! That’s terrible!” She couldn’t understand why my daughter would ever do that and on her death bed insisted that we erase that from the earth. I couldn’t help but giggle and marvel at her attention to such a thing in her condition. Right to the end, she was tough and opinionated. 😉

I have so many funny memories of my mom because she was absolutely hilarious. Her sense of humor was the best. She could turn anything into a big laugh and she usually did. I think that’s one of my kid’s favorite qualities about her. She made them laugh, all the time. They also loved her amazing cooking! A high honor if I do say so, myself.

Once when I was an older teen, the phone started ringing in the middle of the night. I jumped up to run to her room to answer it before it woke her up and just as I got to her door (it was half-opened) she jumped straight up out of bed and took off running — only, she ran right into the half-opened door head first. I stood there shocked at her full-blast run in with her own bedroom door. She bounced off the door (with her forehead) like something out of a movie. It knocked her awake and in my 18 year old immaturity, I killed over laughing. I couldn’t help it, it was so funny!

She didn’t think it was funny….at all. Neither of us ever answered the phone.

Years later, she was visiting me as a young mom in my new home. We were sitting outside on my big front porch watching my little boy toddle around. She was sitting in a one-person swing, laughing and enjoying the moment when all of the sudden, the swing snapped. She flipped through the air landing on the ground beside the porch on her head. This time, I screamed instead of laughed because I recognized the possibility of a dire injury. I raced down to where she landed and asked her if she could move. Still stunned, she said, “Call 911!”. I ran to the phone and soon the EMT’s arrived to help. After checking her out and finding her all well and good, she realized that one of the EMT’s was a handsome Tom Selleck look-alike. Without missing a beat, she played up that she “might” need a little help back up on the porch. The handsome EMT full of compassion and care, gently held onto her as he half carried her up on the porch. After they drove away, I died laughing when she started picking dirt, grass and limbs out of her hair. She said, “Great, I probably looked like a crazy lady to that dude!”

Thankfully, she wasn’t injured just banged up. However, her sense of humor was still intact after a wild ride off of my porch.

I loved her for so many reasons. Mainly, because she was my mom. She made me feel special for being me (a mom trait). She also made a lot of mistakes and at the end of her life, admitted her failures openly. I don’t hold any of her faults against her. God allowed us both to part ways with a clean slate. I’m so thankful for that time. Not everyone gets the chance to forgive and make peace.

This Mother’s Day I’ll remember her for the ways she blessed me and loved me in her own motherly way. I’ll laugh at the memories we shared and probably tear up at the time that stands between us. I won’t stop counting the days until I see her again.

mama

Happy heavenly mother’s day, Mom!

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