I’m My Own Version of Aunt Josephine

aunt jo
(click to enlarge photo)

I completely relate to Aunt Josephine from Lemony Snicket’s – A Series of Unfortunate Events. She was a wee bit out there (I know….we aren’t exactly alike) and she had a crazy sense of imagination. Anything and everything was a danger to her.

I get it, lady.

I fell asleep last night afraid a snake was going to crawl out of who-knows-where and get me or my little dog while we slept. Notice I didn’t fear it getting my hubby (it’s because he was snoring SO LOUD I felt sure the snake would slither on by him).

Don’t touch the doorknobs children! They’ll explode and put your eyes out!

I’m clearly irrational, I know.

I suppose it has to do with a picture my daughter’s boyfriend snapped of a long long snake slithering beside my car a few days ago here at the ranch. I’ve imagined all the snakes of all the world getting into my car or inside my house ever since.

It’s not that crazy because on the news for the last two days a story has been running about a teacher in the Fort Worth area who found a snake in her SUV when she leaned in to get her BABY OUT OF THE CARSEAT!!!

And…..guess who got away? Inside the car?

Yes, Mr. Snake! He was even shown on the news being all crappy and aggressive with the animal control people. He shed a skin and split into the car somewhere and sister is perhaps one of my people – because SHE LEFT IT WHERE IT SAT!

Bye Felicia!

I don’t have any reason to worry (uhh, yea right) while I’m asleep in bed inside a house……do I?

Aunt Josephine, are you my mothership?

aunt jos

I’m blaming it on the wasp poison circulating through my body all night. I’m feverish and itchy….and starting to feel out of my right mind.

me waspy sting

How long does this throbbing itching pain last? I think I’m dying! Okay, maybe a little over-reaction. Go away, nothing to see here.

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