Death Sentence

I’ve just gotten home from the doctor. It won’t be long and I’ll be gone from this world thanks to her “expert” advice. She had the nerve to put me on the strictest of NO SUGAR & NO FLOUR & NO DAIRY diets ever.


Therefore, I can only deduce that I will croak from lack of anything good to eat henceforth the rest of my days.

Oh and she had the nerve to tell me to read all the labels. Come on, really. You know what that really means, right? It means every single thing you “think” you can eat….after you pick it up and read the actual label, you cannot dare eat because it contains something of either a sugar, dairy or a flour product.

Just go home and die.

Good news? She believes that my awful gut, that evil residence of all the sweet creamers and donuts (I rarely eat a donut, really) okay… good creamy cheesey, tomatoey deliciousy foods that Dr. Meancakes says to avoid is the source to whatever Rheumatoid Arthritis pains I’ve been having and if I just obey, I will start to live a pain-free life.

So, I’ll just be over here H U N G R Y and sad. Perhaps a little skinnier too, finally.

Pray for me, y’all. I really think I might die.

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