God’s Got Something

No offense fellow Christian friends…..but, if I hear ONE MORE TIME that “God has something for me and it’s coming soon” – I might scream!

No one believes or trusts in God and His endless abilities more than me. I guarantee it! Standing here 5 + months into unemployment I am overwhelmed and grieved beyond what I ever thought I could be over a job. Or lack of a job!

I’m sick to death of well wishes. I’m done with “Oh it’ll happens”! I can’t take one more hopeful call from an eager headhunter WHO HAS JUST THE PERFECT JOB!

I’m giving up!

Never have I really wanted to run away from my life more than I do right this very minute. There aren’t enough hours in the day to hold all my fantasies of escaping my reality right now. This is hell and I’m not dead, I’m alive and feeling every ugly ache that accompanies the uncertainty of losing everything you own because you do not have a livable income.

Jobs seem to be everywhere but getting hired to one (most of them way below my hubby’s education and qualifications) seems to be an incredible feat. Why are these positions even listed? Either no one ever contacts you back or you hear back that you’ll hear back again soon and you never actually DO HEAR BACK. It is a circus! A circus of horrors!

I stopped asking how long and what else so long ago that I don’t even feel those feelings any longer. Running away won’t get me anywhere because every problem and more will only follow us to whatever destination we choose.

Is that what my life has come to? Not only do I have a physical battle to fight…..my peace & security must be compromised to the fullest too?

I don’t want to hear any more IT’S GONNA HAPPEN or SURELY GOD HAS A PLAN’s. I am too frag – il- ey.

So, I’ll just be over here sucking my thumb & crying my eyes out waiting for a Christmas miracle. Thanks for loving me anyway. Pathetic attitude and all, friends.

give it up

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