I Ain’t Running No Mouse House

Well, it was only a matter of time.

As my true love and I snuggled in bed Friday night, I had a thought about critters. The kind that get inside your DWELLING and try to do a terrorist takeover of all your good crap. Hubby laughed and said, “No worries!”. Imagine my surprise about 30 minutes later on one of mamaw’s runs to the restroom in the semi-dark….when a tiny little dark thing ran by my foot!!!

I jumped from the throne and hit the lights, while screaming for help as the little monster ran for his life under my seat at the table!! As in, under the cabinet where every important thing I need stored is hidden!

Oh ya. We party on Friday nights usually and of course this was a wing-dinger of a celebration!

It’s been one long sad week since Ms Lizzy died and look what happens!

MOUSE TAKEOVER!

So, there we were in the middle of the night….literally tearing out every nook and crevice of the camper searching for the terrorist! We found nothing! Not a dropping of poop, a skinny little shaky tail…not a single thing! I slept with one eye opened all night and woke up feeling dead the next morning! I watched some other RV’r videos on rodent invasions and developed a plan Galloway style. Why? The videos I watched were clearly people who DO NOT kill animals and WE ARE NOT THOSE PEOPLE!

We kill mice! Dead, bye….no, you can’t live here! We are full at the Inn!

Now, I feel it’s important to say that we are not trashy! Really. We are clean. We have clean stuff and I hope this isn’t like that if you have to tell people you’re a lady, you’re probably not one kind of thing cause…I MEAN IT, WE ARE DECENT PEOPLE. WE LIVE IN A BRAND NEW CAMPER!!

Mice don’t care!

They want luxury. Nice houses, perfect spot to steal, poop and enjoy the finer things of life. Especially, when you live in the country! Montana is pretty much all country but we live 6 miles from town. So, country mouse came lookin’ for a good spot!

Saturday night we set out a trap and went to bed.

No catchy a thing!

I went to the table to take my pills that I organized the night before and over half were missing!

Oh my gosh! It got real! I screamed again! What kind of mouse steals pills? Is he a druggie on the run from an intervention? Does his family know? Is this my future? A mouse drug dealer?

I quit!

Hubby hopped up and started searching around again while trying to look as if he had the whole situation under control. It was clear, we were stepping into a mouse war. Since it was our 29th anniversary, we decided to take off for Yellowstone and Beartooth Highway for the day. I opened my makeup drawer and there was my chewed up makeup sponge!

Lines were drawn!

Wanted posters hung!

Big guns came out!

4 traps were set! 1 with string attached in case he tried to GET AWAY!

We’re brutal. I feel no shame. I hate rodents. I live in a flippin camper! I CAN’T JUST LET THEM RUN MY HOUSE!!

After a whole day gone, we came home to all empty traps again!

We invited the Lord into the situation and went to bed.

I’ve shaded his face out of respect. He probably has a family and if they read my blog, well…you know. Painful.

So, here we are celebrating the death of not one but two mice!

Happy 29th anniversary to us!

Oh and just to tell you how brazen these little devils are….my hubby moved his briefcase on his side of the table and found a little pile of my missing pills. He had nibbled on a few of them and left the rest to taunt me!

Evil.

Today, I’m buying bacon! We’re upping our game with these critters. It’s war! And like the southern rebel I am, I’m going to fight to the death!

Tags: , , , ,