NOTE TO SELF:
When life comes at you…
You are equipped to handle it.
I now believe the biggest challenge I struggled with during my hubby’s jobloss was the THINKING in my head that I couldn’t handle it! Also, that it was the most impossible time for such a disastrous life change!
Looking back today, it was exactly the right time.
It was the perfect time.
God knew and had a plan all along. He arranged so many blessings in spite of the scariness of our situation. He was preparing us for much bigger things than where we had parked our dreams. A lesson I’ve learned too well going through such a rotten set of circumstances. We felt very uncomfortable for much of the 2 years unemployed. Partly because, who doesn’t get up and go to work? Just fighting the temptation to feel sorry for yourself was a battle everyday. We wanted relief, redemption and to feel normal again.
Desperation will rearrange your priorities.
Some days, I look at where I am and wonder….how in the world did this happen?
Well, the short answer is that God had a big crazy plan to move us and grow us….and He launched that grow up party with a devastating job crash.
It hurt, it stung….it humbled us.
I cried out many times during it that THIS IS HORRIBLE TIMING! My body cranked up and went into menopause, next up was the diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis, our son lost his job along with my hubby and had to move home (that’s what home is for, by the way), our middle baby graduated college and took off on her career path, the baby got married and everything we knew and loved evolved into some strange new lifestyle that distracted us and burdened us beyond what we were mentally capable of handling.
We fought our emotions, every single day.
Still, God knew what he was doing and he was doing it at the perfect time.
You may be thinking that all is well and perfect now but it’s not. I am still on the growing journey. Nothing is as I pictured it for my fifties! I marvel and question every new step because….I JUST CAN’T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE! I want to know what’s ahead. I want to know if THIS is what God really means to be doing with me.
I want to be on the right path.
What I have discovered is that everything happens at just the right time. My simple mind might argue that when the bottom falls out from under me but God doesn’t make mistakes.
I have to wrestle my attitude to the ground and trust that no matter the painful circumstance I am forced to walk through, I can hold tight to the promise that God is doing a new thing and everything will be okay.
Right now, this is the exact time to face whatever it is….life throws at us.