One Step Forward Two Steps Back

First let me start by saying….I do NOT want to be a trash talker about anyone. This is why I haven’t shared my story on my blog before. It is a happy place for me. This past year’s events are not happy! I don’t want to dwell there and I don’t want to blab to the world my issues. God knows them and He is in charge! So, listen with your heart and hear me when I say…..I’m living for Jesus! Not for man. The following is to show just how sneaky satan can be when we least expect it.

Sorry if I seem weak, friends. Satan had the bull’s-eye target on me for his vicious attacks. My day wasn’t so bad, but it had it’s moments. I have been in such a good place lately, emotionally. I haven’t blogged about this past year on purpose. I don’t want to go there. It was really dark and painful! I am healing and healing in a good way. Today, was just one of those days.

I had a student (who was in our former church/youth group) and he told me that he overheard some “church ladies” talking trash about my hubby on Sunday at church. OUCH! It stung so badly! Now I want you to know, I am a mature and intelligent person. I understand that these things happen. People are mean and they talk when they should be maybe, say, praying for their enemy. I’m a big girl and I know of man’s evil ways (that’s why I don’t go to this church anymore!!!). But it hurts! Bad!

We loved them. We were good to them and loyal to everyone of them. Even when they weren’t good to us. Which was quite often. I don’t know why this happens, people. I’m amazed at the behaviors of church people. I can’t help but think about how God feels and what He expects of each us. Those who do evil and justify it as the right thing, just blows my mind. We will all face Him and account for everything. That’s enough for me to want to stay on the straight and narrow. I fail, but I get back up and try again.

I’m growing. I’m in His hands. I trust Him. I want to be completely whole and healthy. My heart is so full with His love and I want to share it. I want other’s to know of His love and to feel that peace that can only come from Him. I can’t do that if I’m broken like glass. I must persevere and stay close to Him and His fire. I will push on even in the midst of the firey darts that satan flings my way. I will keep moving forward and follow Him who leads with love. Why? Because it is He who gives me strength. Do you ever feel like you’re taking one step forward only to fall two steps back? That’s how I felt today. I’m so thankful that tomorrow’s a brand new day!

Eph. 1:19 “His power works in me. HE is my strength.”

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