Grief So Deep

The greatest fear a mother has in her life is the death of one of her children. I’d like to tell you about two mother’s that I have been praying for since the loss of their beautiful daughters. Neither knows the other yet they have an exclusive membership in a club no one wants to belong to. One of living without a child that God had entrusted to them. Why do things like this happen? I don’t know. It’s not my privilege to know and for that matter, what could I do? I’m just human, not God. He is the giver and taker of life. It is He that we must trust….in life and death!

I’ve been friends with Teresa for about six years. We work together at the same high school. Her daughter, Tara is the same age as my son. On April 30th, the Wednesday before the Senior Prom, Tara was running late for school and pulled out in front of a truck loaded down with cynder blocks. She was killed instantly! I can’t describe the devastation felt across our school and community. Tara was a flash of excitement! Her life was so full and she had so much to live for. I always think of her as a “rockstar”! She was that amazing! People stopped to look at her when she walked in a room. She wasn’t afraid to speak the truth and she usually said whatever was on her mind. Tara was so good at making friends and she made others feel accepted when they were around her. Her crazy behavior got her into trouble and her laugh was infectious! She was FUN! Everybody loved her and if they didn’t…..they wanted to. She left an incredible mark on this world. Tara also left behind a son, Colin. She was a teenage mother. A choice that she took responsibility for. She was a sweet and loving mother. Tara was planning her future, a wedding to the love of her life, Ryan.

My heart broke that day for my friend. It still does today. There are no words that can take her ache away. I can’t change the reality of what happened. I wish that I could. God has all authority over heaven and earth. Who am I to question him? I can’t! He is the Alpha and Omega. I must trust Him. Even when it doesn’t make sense. I’ve watched Teresa wrangle with her grief and at times it seems it will overtake her. She will never be the same. How could she? A part of her is gone from this place. Eternity has called and Tara is now truly home.

Just two days before Tara died, in the lone star state of Texas another daughter died tragically. I found Georgia on the blog of Vicki Courtney (founder of Virtuous Reality a ministry to teens and moms). She was sharing about the loss of her daughter, Rachel. Around the same time I noticed her posting on the LPM blog as well. Her only words were, “I’ve just recently lost my daughter, please pray for me!”. My heart instantly broke. I couldn’t imagine what this mother was going through. I found her blog and read all about her sweet Rachel. She was just fifteen years old. Rachel took her own life. She left no note. Only a 15 year lifetime of precious memories and the many questions of why. She was beautiful, popular…..a successful student, cheerleader, on the flag team and track team. She was the baby in her family. Her brother was in basic training in the military at the time and had to return with his grief all alone. What a way to grow up, huh? How does a heart withstand such hurt?

I checked on Georgia every chance I had this summer. Sometimes, she wouldn’t post for a while. I didn’t blame her. I prayed for her and I hurt for her. Even questioning God, why? Why this child? Why Tara? Both of these mothers….how could their hearts ever mend? Only with God and his tender mercy. It’s been amazing to see God at work through Georgia. Her testimony to God and His faithfulness in this tragedy is unbelievable! While her heart is broken she knows without a shadow of a doubt that she will see her Rachel again. The sweet promise of heaven! I’ve learned some valuable lessons from their grief. Do not miss sharing your love with anyone especially your family. It can be gone in an instant. Never take one day for granted. Say what you feel and hold the ones you love longer than you normally would. Take in every bit of them. They are only on loan from God, we do not possess them! Thank you God for sharing! Because of You, Lord, we are blessed to be called mothers.

Both of these mothers have precious sites dedicated to honoring their girls. Go see for yourself and meet these beautiful young women. If you are a mother, you will feel an instant connection with these ladies. God has a purpose for both of them. He’s not finished with either of them. Remember to pray for them and lift them up to God. Each month that passes must bring with it a renewed feeling of loss. Pray that God would fill their hearts with love and peace….comfort that can only come from Him. Maybe even leave a note of encouragement. God bless them both……and hold them in your hand.

Go meet Tara……..

Go meet Rachel……..

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