It Hurts

(possible whining ahead…..don’t want to do it, but….)

Today has been a fairly nice day. I didn’t have to hustle all over the building at work chasing myself around. I actually only taught one period the whole day (so, much of my time was spent waiting to go there). I took it easy….that’s not how it’s been lately. I’ve had to cover everywhere and most days there wasn’t even time for the restroom. Whew! That’s a little crazy! So….today was sort of a make-up day.

Only, I’ve spent it hurting. I noticed after I sat down to check email this morning at school that my leg was hurting. For me, that meant it was only going to get worse. When I’m having a flare up with my Fibromyalgia there’s no stopping it. Usually I have it managed pretty well….but I guess the go-go-going has caught up with my body. This is a sure sign of needing to S T O P !!

By the time I went to lunch I was in full-blown pain. I could barely sit still at the lunch table… makes me want to wiggle around (maybe it’s a coping mechanism, I don’t know). Then I noticed my skin felt feverish. I don’t usually check my temperature….but I felt like I had one. More signs of needing to just chill-out! Hard to do when you are only on Tuesday of a work week. Plus, the weather has changed drastically….it’s 30 degrees outside. Brrrrr! All of this makes me want to be home and relax.

I deal with this little pest (fibromyalgia) fairly aggressively most of the time. I practice mind over matter…mainly because….I HAVE TO FUNCTION! I really don’t have time to be sick or puny. My family is thriving and jiving…and I don’t want to miss out on anything. So, I push on! Lately though, I’ve noticed some little things are getting worse. The use of my hands and fingers. Grasping is not so easy. I drop things and cannot keep ahold of them. Or my hand cramps up so badly that I cannot straighten it out. Really weird, I know. Is it related? I don’t know. I can’t help but think….am I having a stroke? Again, I just keep moving forward. What else can I do?

Tonight I plan to get in my hot-tub and take a break. The heat seems to relax my body and allow me to sleep which is what I need so badly right now. Lots of sleep! If I could figure this crazy thing out I would. This blablamyalgia thing! It’s a real party crasher. It hurts!

Lord, thank you that I can function most of the time. Help me have a positive attitude when I’m too tired and the pain sets in. I know that my health is very important to you and to those who love me. Show me how to take the best care of me….so that I can best serve you, God. I know that I could be so much worse…thank you for the way you protect me from more than I can handle. Amen.

Psalm 69:29-30 “I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me. I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving”. (OH YES, I WILL!)

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