Stayin Home Mama!

I haven’t talked about this topic on my blog before….but I feel it’s a good time to share. I was privileged to be one and if I could encourage anyone out there to do it, here me out ladies. Do it! Be a stay at home mom! Now, I know what you’re thinking…I can’t afford it! And in today’s society….it’s crazy I know and seemingly impossible. But really….it can be done.

My first year of marriage began with a baby. Yes, I had a baby within that first year of wedded bliss. It was scary! I liked being independant and I knew that this was a crash course in growing up whether I wanted to or not. I had to get serious about my future immediately. I was 23 and still not quite prepared for what was to come. God knew and took great mercy on me and provided just what I needed to make it. An encouraging family.

We hadn’t even bought a house yet. We were living like “newlyweds” literally. We had an apartment, hubby worked as a policeman crazy shift hours and I was substitute teaching school ( I was supposed to be finishing my degree). I was foolishly living as if…..I had all the time in the world to get serious! Duh! Girls….DON’T DO THAT!

That first baby changed my world forever. I knew that everything else I had to do came after him. He was precious and he was mine. God picked me to be his mama. There was just no way for me to hand him over to a sitter. Mostly because I was nursing him, but my heart couldn’t have stood it anyway. He and I were a bonded unit. As he grew into an older baby, we would laugh about how he didn’t want anyone but his mama…not even his daddy. As soon as he would realize he wasn’t in his mama’s arms he would go crazy (sort of like that baby on that 90’s show The Dinosaurs….”Not the mama!”). It was clear, I was the one he needed and God made a way for me to be that.

We really wanted more children but didn’t have the insurance to cover another pregnancy. I went to work for the state health department (best insurance ever) just so I could have another baby. It wasn’t long and I was pregnant with Ally. I worked up to her birth so I could have time built up to last me as long as possible. I was off with her for six months and then went back part-time for almost 2 weeks. Hubby called me and said, “Come home!”. I resigned right then. It was the best decision I could have ever made. I wasn’t home long when I found out I was pregnant with baby #3. Yea….it was a busy time.

I spent the rest of my days being the mom my kids needed. I’ve heard other mom’s say they couldn’t take being home with kids. I couldn’t take leaving mine. I didn’t want to miss anything. I loved taking care of them. I knew everything about them and I didn’t mind doing what it took to make them happy. Who else would invest in them like me? I loved them and wanted to make their life perfect. I realized I only had a certain amount of time with them. How could I pass it off on someone else? They were entrusted to me!

I used to think… someday, they will be grown and I don’t want to regret any time wasted. Today when I look at them (teenagers) I see the product of me being the mom God called me to be. They are terrific. Not perfect (cause I’m certainly a flawed gal) but they are all the things and more that I ever dreamed they would be. I am overwhelmed by God’s grace in my parenting outcome. I owe Him all the credit for anything good that results from my children’s lives. Really!

Here’s a few things that mattered to me and why staying home meant so much.

–God. Hubby and I felt that it was our first priority to teach our kids about God and His love for them.
–Our calling. Taking care of their spiritual needs was our responsibility…not anyone else’s.
–Safety. We knew that in my care our kids would receive the best. I would do things that a sitter would never do. I would protect them from harm and I would go the extra step to make them happy. So many parents have experienced poor childcare and even abuse (physical as well as sexual). That was something I could never live with.
–Their future. The people we prayed for them to one day be. We realized that we played an important part in creating productive adults for our world by what was going on in our home. We wanted to teach them to love other’s, treat people with respect, and live a life of integrity. This would be not only a lifestyle model but daily training.
–Financially. By the time we were finished having our babies…there were three of them all under 4. Can you say chaching$$ childcare costs? There was no way to afford that much in caring for all of them realistically. It was not wise to work for peanuts, people. We made a choice! We were frugal and it worked.
–Happiness factor. It was what worked for our family. Me being home was vital to the success of our family. This put hubby in a position to do his part and not worry about who, what, when and where. He provided and didn’t live stressed out trying to make sure everyone else was taken care of. He knew I was on it. Plus, I could take good care of him (and this always makes him happy). Husbands need wives that are purposed. I felt God had called me to be a good wife and mom (and I really wanted to succeed at it). Yes, I am human and learned many things the hard way.

I cannot judge anyone who does not or cannot stay home with their children. That’s not my position here. I simply want to say that it will be the best investment of your life if you do. I am proof that it works. Dr. Laura has a new book out, In Praise of Stay at Home Moms. What a great idea. Let’s praise these women! It is a sacrifice that they will forever benefit from. I promise!

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