Have you ever tried to tell someone something they're doing wrong or need to change? You know, like when you have to give a friend or acquaintance a piece of painful advice? Maybe I've never been gifted with the nice gene, I don't know. My delivery is always way off and I end up hurting whomever I'm trying to nicely correct. Or I just sound like a jerk!
Some people just have the gift of correction. Nice correction. My hubby….he has it. Anytime I need something really taken care of…I go to him and ask him to handle it. He has a great way of convincing the person to make the change or whatever it is that needs improving. He knows how to speak with kindness and persuasion, while I just come off sounding rude or snotty.
Dang my over-the-top personality! I blame it all on my high strung anal way of thinking!
I've noticed that I'm not the only one with this inability to communicate. Over the last few years at work…a certain group of people {leave notes} for other's to read when they want them to change a behavior or stop doing something they don't approve of. The notes can vary from –>Don't drink our coffee! to Don't print in color anymore! But that's not all they say. Usually the notice comes with a bit of tongue lashing or harsh hurtful words.
And they post it for the world to see.
My personal desk is in a classroom that I'm only in for one class. If that makes sense. Another class uses this room when I'm not there. Every time that I come back to my desk, it's trashed! My desk calender has been doodled all over and stuff written all over it. The items inside my desk are stolen or "missing" and the whole thing is just ransacked! Insert: ME VERY ANAL!!
It really makes me feel crazy! I mean, really crazy. I've been overlooking it all semester and cleaning up the mess. But honestly, I want to tell whoever it is to NOT SIT AND PLAY AT MY DESK!! It's not their place to party! Except I remember my weakness at communicating such information nicely. I'd surely be the mean queen if I said anything….don't you think?
Which points me right where I'm going with this whole post…..HOW TO BE NICE! How do you nicely ask someone to stop doing something? Is a note sufficient? Do you need to (gently) confront them face to face? What? Or do you think just letting the whole issue go is best? I'm not good at being a doormat or allowing people to get away with poor behavior. It isn't right. Then again, I also don't want to be the make people do what I want police either.
What would you do? Or should I be asking WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
Challenge: Be nice to everyone. For everyone you meet is going through something!