Today is my last day in Florida. I'm really anxious to get home to my family. I've missed them and I'm ready to be the mom & wife again. I'm finding that I'm way better at that job than I am at being a nurse daughter.
Should I feel guilty?
It's funny how women are always carrying some sort of guilt torch isn't it? Either we're neglecting ourself or someone else. For most of us, we're wired to feel guilt over it.
I'm so grateful that I was able to visit with my mom and help her….even in the small way that I have. I know her needs are going to increase and be a little more complex after I'm gone. But I'm so glad that I had this time with her. For the most part, she has felt well. Little bits of nausea here and there are the biggest issues she's had the last two weeks. She's also been tired.
She's been a trooper!
I'm not going to sugarcoat my feelings about the election. I'm sick over it! Heartbroken! I'll never understand how….it's just too much to process. I couldn't stay awake last night to watch any results. It's like the Holy Spirit put me out of my own misery (for my own good, maybe). But around 2am, I awoke and checked Facebook. I had a headache and that moment of seeing the end results only made it pound harder. So, there I lay for the next 3 hours, miserable and far from home and all that makes me feel safe.
I wanted my hubby! I wanted to be near my kids. This whole being apart experience has put me to the test. I hated it and I believe I failed. I never want to leave them again. They are mine and I belong with them. I've missed them so much and have had to fight crying the whole visit.
Still, coming was the right thing to do.
I'm so happy for all the special friends and family I've gotten to see and visit with while here. To name a few…
December & Greylynn (my cousin & her teen daugher)
Mom
Joy & Lamar
BJ (my brother)
Dorothea
Bill (my step dad)
Homer
Becky
Ms Carlynn, Jack & Robbie
Uncle Doyle & Aunt Teresa
Lisa
and in just a little while, my cousin Lucy!! I'm so blessed that I had a smidgen of time with each of them. I'll carry the love back to Indiana with me and I'm saying a prayer for all of them. They made my trip a little brighter & I cherish them all for it.
So, leaving this sunshine and orange grove land behind…..and I thank you for your prayers too! Next time you hear from me…I'll be back on Hoosier ground!
Yay! Home sweet home!