My son moved out this weekend. Well, he started the moving process anyway. He's taking a few things at a time because of all the work needing to be done at his house. Like painting a very pink room, hanging a new shower rod and cleaning up mouse droppings! Eww, right? The move was a surprise, not in a negative way….just that we weren't expecting him to move less than 2 miles down the road from our house (the one with free rent, a laundry lady and a rockin' chef).
Still, he's moving on and I couldn't be happier for him. He's been a good sport about living at home as a young adult. It's not easy to do (for any of you who've tried it)! He should be on his own. The economy has a whole generation of young adults stuck with their parents/grandparents. Life is costly in more ways than one. Everybody needs to step out and live solely relying on self before they get married and have NO CHOICE! Don't you think?
I've noticed something over the last year or so that really bothers me. Guys. Grown up ones. The many that I'm friends with on Facebook or Twitter. I've collected many as friends from school, my kids peers, old classmates & children of my own friends. I can't help but feel a little disturbed at some of the things these guys post. It seems our boys are really ill-equipped, emotionally. As I scroll through Facebook, no matter what time of day or night….there seems to be whiny or wimpy posts put up by guys.
Example:
— Why won't anyone, just anyone talk to me? I'm bored.
— I'm so lonely!
Two different posts by two different guys that often post emotionally sad posts. What bothers me is the mental state of these guys. They are clearly crying out for attention. As a mom to a young adult guy….it worries me. I know the days of NEVER LET EM SEE YA CRY are over but are we raising wimps? I bet you're thinking the two posts aren't that bad and they're not. It's just a sample from what I read today on Facebook. Usually, it's worse! I've noticed it's becoming common for guys to be more emotionally needy than girls. Sometimes even weighing down girls/women with unhealthy baggage that isn't theirs to own. The result? Unhealthy relationships!
I've been at this mom gig for a little over 22 years and I'm always willing to learn new ways to best prepare my kids for real life. Along the way, painful experiences can sneak in and rough us up a little. But how we deal with them really matters, especially in front of our kids. I'm convinced that boys are missing out on some important life skill teaching from parents. Many kids are struggling and they have nowhere to turn for advice or guidance. Again, I'm not saying boys aren't allowed to feel or be emotional. Every mother knows….boys hurt too.
I'm confident that my own son gets this concept. The fact that he has always been able to talk with his dad & me openly…is a great comfort to me. I know that he trusts us and that he isn't going to cry out on a public forum all his sadness, even if he feels a little blue over a personal issue.
If you're parenting…and have a son, are you preparing him for disappointment? Are you equipping him with ways to meet his emotional needs? Does he have the confidence to forge through rough stuff? Because life is a guarantee of struggles. As a mom of daughters….I'm praying for the young men my girls will eventually marry. My hopes are that they are being groomed for real life and that they are strong inside as well as warm & loving. It's not easy raising kids. Raising boys to be strong, loving & confident in who they are is even harder. I won't stop trying….even when my boy moves 2 miles down the road. I will do my best to prepare him for the wife & world that awaits him.
Tell me. Do you think boys are turning into wimpy guys?