Stop Cheating Yourself

sex chart

I hate this conversation!  I hate talking about something that so many people are going to point fingers (or roll their eyes) at me and call me mean or wrong or judgemental….or just out of touch with reality!  But I have to speak up, God expects me to share the truth and if there ever were a topic of importance….it is this one.

Sexually active young people.

If I only had one chance to say something valuable.  If God gave me a platform and said, "Go tell…."  I would say this one burns in my heart so heavy that it needs to be heard.  Too many are playing with it like it is NO BIG DEAL.  The sad reality to that thinking is, that it is a big deal.

Being sexually active without a commitment of marriage is cheating.

I know some who will read this will immediately argue that marriage doesn't always mean committed.  I'd have to argue back that if that's the case then the one's married are not doing that right either.  When you step into a marriage commitment, you make a vow and part of that vow is to be true and faithful to that ONE PERSON forever.  I realize not everyone is taking that vow as seriously as some are but a true committed relationship will consist of two people sold out to one another.

One of the most baffling parts of this topic (for me) is the parents who pretty much celebrate their kids being sexually active.  What is the deal?  How is it in any way comfortable for a parent to know their child/unmarried young adult is gettin' it on with a boy/girlfriend/hook up?  No way can that situation make sense.  I've heard so many parents/acquaintances tell me over the years….that you can't control your kids and I believe that TO A POINT.  But did you know…..

Your kids want you to care enough about them to say — DON'T DO THAT!!?

It's true.  Your kids, my kids….all kids want someone to put boundaries on them.  Matter of fact, they thrive so much more and it has been proven that kids who follow the rules make better life decisions when put in situations outside of their parents view.  I cannot stress enough about rules and expectations.  Kids need them.  Look on Facebook.  See who is doing what.  Notice the young people there and some of their choices posted for the world to see.  Who is leading them?  Who are they trying to please or honor?  Certainly not a parent and clearly not God.

Just this week, I've read about 8 different unwed girls and their babies on Facebook and these are not strangers to me.  They are real people that I know and care about in some way or another.  The sadness I feel for their situation is tremendous because as awesome as it is to be a mom it is never-ending in every way as a responsibility.  Children born out of casual sex relationships suffer.  Again, you may argue with me on this….but you will never convince me that a child whose parents are not married or even in a committed relationship has a perfect life.  It's impossible.  Now, this is constantly disputed among the young and brilliant but children DO NEED TWO PARENTS.  They need a dad, they need a mom and they need those two people to love one another and live responsibly as parents.

So, just what else does being sexually active do?  Well, unwed pregnancy isn't the only repercussion of that lifestyle.  The details of intimacy within relationships rob its participants of the freedom between a spouse once they are married.  I read stories everyday of women who are struggling within their marriage due to intimacy issues.  Whether they be their own insecurities or their husbands.  Who knew such a consequence could wreak so much havoc on a relationship?  God knew and His word clearly warns us to protect ourselves sexually.  Sex is meant for marriage and this is one of the reasons why.  It's a celebration of the love of two people joined as one and when one or both involved have given that part of their body to someone else or a lot of someone elses it has a forever negative effect.

It never goes away.  Even for people who have given their heart to Christ, they struggle with the remnants of their broken heart for past decisions. (Dang it, devil!)

So, I'm back to parents.  Why would you look the other way knowing what you know about sex?  Don't tell me….you can't control your kids!  That's nonsense!  You don't have to control them to help them make good choices.  You only have to influence them and love them enough to fight for them.  Every. Single. Day.

Stop burying your head in the sand.  Talk to them, gain their trust and be honest with them.  They want your approval and they want to please you and they want to know when something is dangerous ahead.  Don't believe me?  Ask them!

I'll end this painful post with this…..

Who do you know that is truly happy and at peace with the choices they've made to be sexually active?  I mean, the single mom?  The one who isn't with that boyfriend anymore who fathered her child?  Or the one who is married now….whose husband finds it difficult to imagine her with some other guy but has to anyway?  The guy who thought it wasn't a big deal to sleep around who now has 2 different children with 2 different ex-girlfriends and now wants to marry Mrs. Right?  Or the little girl who never sees her daddy because he's dating some other lady? 

Are these people living their best life now?

Stop cheating yourself!



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