Nobody Told Me

I bought a swimsuit. (Ahem, moment of silence — yes, pray if you so feel inclined)

swimsuit

I hate swimsuit shopping, don’t you? It’s like every flaw ever known to man decides to follow you into the dressing room and taunt you with each twist and turn. I didn’t even bother trying it on. These days, if it has the letters DD or DDD on the tag….I grab it. Who decides that all women are a size nothingnadazero? If you’ve flipped through a rack or two then you know that leetle tiny swimsuits made for the munchkin woman are a plenty. When they do make a more realistic sized swimsuit, it has absolutely no support in the bust. What do they think? Women are all flat chested?

It’s discouraging to say the least.

Stuff gets weird on the forty-something year old body. Nobody ever told me just how weird. What used to be in one location seems to have dropped down to other places and none of it have any intentions of ever moving back to its original locale.

I’m cool with it though. Really.

All I ask for is someone to make a swimsuit that fits a real body and looks decent. Otherwise, I might get tossed out of the pool this summer.

And….that’s NOT COOL dudes!

swim old

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