I’m Letting Go, Really

I’m dead tired. Not a good dead tired either. My brain hurts, my body aches and my heart is all shredded into pieces.

So, how was your long weekend?

sometime

While most families were having a grand old time celebrating the long weekend, mine was all wonky with emotions. There were arguments, exhausting and messy packing, misunderstandings, biting comments and total disregard for what anyone else might be feeling.

That’s family, I guess.

I suppose my weekend was just another little lesson in letting go. I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of doing just that. Now, not so much.

Growing pains really are a pain.

nothing happens

This morning, I woke up with a little better perspective. My happiness depends on me. It’s not anyone else’s job to make me “feel” joy. It’s not fair for me to put that pressure on anyone around me. However, I can expect to be treated well.

I’ve asked myself some questions this morning. The kind that require SELF EXAMINATION. Ouch, to that…right?

* Were my expectations too high? Probably, but I only have limited time with all 3 of my kids. It’s normal to feel dissed when other activities take the place of time with each other.

* Am I being a toxic mom? Perhaps. Not every question or comment is laced with condemnation. I pray that God would reveal any manipulative word or guilt-filled comment from my mouth (if I speak them to my kids).

* Do I owe my kids anything? I am learning that I owe them respect and room to grow. I have boundaries but so do they. It’s important that those boundaries work both ways.

* Is my heart pure with my frustrations with my kids? I’m praying on this one.

* Do I need to back off? Yes.

firm

Mama’s, no matter what age your kids may be….growing pains sneak in and cause havoc. We can either fight it like a madwoman or we can bow out gracefully and LET GO. I’m working on bowing out. Every. Day.

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Can you see the heart? I found it this morning after I took this picture of my pink peonies by my porch. (Thank you Lord, Your love is everlasting!)

letting go

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