July 6th

I’ll always think of my mother on this day, her birthday. She would’ve turned 66 years old. That’s not very old, is it? In 9 more days….she will have been gone 2 years from my life. Every day it gets a little easier but the loss is still real and sad at the same time. Today, I’ve been writing about her (ironically) in a book about my life. It’s a peek in the window of growing up with dysfunction and abuse. It’s something that I have to do. Not long ago, I had a realization that the words stuck in my head and heart were trapped because of the hard stuff that I needed to write first.

Who wants to tell the world they grew up with a mentally ill mom?


My whole life, I just wanted to be normal and I wanted my mom to love me without the ugly parts of her mind raging over me. Today, on her birthday….I choose to think of all the great qualities she possessed. Not the mistakes or the shortcomings. Just what I know and love about her.

She was loyal, loving, funny, beautiful and full of passion. She was proud of her kids and grand kids. She was generous to anyone in need and often helped others who couldn’t help themselves. She made changes in her heart and life towards the end which brought her both peace and finally the satisfaction she had always searched for.

I miss her.


Happy birthday Mom. I can only imagine how completely happy you are in heaven.

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