It’s the middle of October and you know what that means….. time to start picking up prezzies for your favorite people. Christmas is fast approaching and unless you want to be stuck fighting the crowds in December, you better get serious about your gift shopping. Besides, aren’t the holidays more fun when you’re not racing around looking for the perfect gift?
I was chatting with a neighbor this week and we ended up on the topic of our kids. Listening to her took me back to the days when my own kiddos were young and I was fumbling along trying to keep them all alive and awesome. Because isn’t that what moms should be doing? Focusing on awesome?
Oh, the truth is…..no. Awesome is not what’s important.
I’ve thought about our conversation over the last few days and the important parts of parenting have little to do with raising awesome kids and a lot to do with giving them awesome gifts. Gifts that keep on giving, gifts that can’t be bought at any store. Gifts that every mama should be giving.
DISCIPLINE & HARD WORK
I grew up with chores. At the time, I was convinced my mom thought I was a teenaged slave. Looking back, I see how important learning jobs around the house was for my future as a wife and mom. Kids are not going to die from having house responsibilities. Matter of fact, housework/yardwork/chores instills a good work ethic and provides kids with skills that are beginning to become extinct in our society. So, moms….do NOT fall for the hissy fits your sweet darlins throw when given a simple list or task around the house. Stick to your guns and love your kids through teaching them to work hard. Note: This goes for school work, sports and jobs outside of home too.
AFFECTION
Showing your love is just as important as speaking it when it comes to raising children. Physical touch is a natural human desire. Every single person needs it. Not showing love through affection sends a message of rejection or distance. Each day, hug your kids….look into their eyes, speak lovingly into their hearts. Give them your sweetest moments and don’t forget to laugh and play. Parenting can be busy work full of serious moments, remember to have silly time too.
PERMISSION TO FAIL
I didn’t realize just how important letting my kids fall flat was for not only them….but, me. Failure is a part of life. No one gets through it without some experience in failing something somewhere. I placed a great amount of pressure on my kids without realizing the stress it was causing them until they were grown and out of my house. Holding them to the fire is important but forcing kids to perform out of their capabilities is a lesson in frustration for them and you. Letting them fail teaches them to try harder next time and it prepares them to work for what they want. Your loving encouragement is what they really need, not your constant disappointment.
TIME
T I M E spells love in the heart of a kid. Stop the hustle of life and focus on having fun. Spending down time together allows for great conversations. Conversations open up trust. Trust equips kids with the ability to be honest about real life issues. Your kid will struggle with big deal problems somewhere along the way and turning to you….will be exactly what they need to do. Your time invested will be something they remember forever. Make sure they know how important they are to you by giving them the gift of your time.
KNOWLEDGE OF GOD
This might be the greatest gift you give your kids. God is real and unless you teach them WHO GOD IS they will have a world trying to cram the opposite down their throats. It’s not enough though to just teach them He is real….they need to know how much He loves them and how much He wants a personal relationship with them. They are ultimately HIS anyway…we are just borrowing them from God for a while. We owe Him and them the honor of trusting someone besides our own selves in this fallen world. God has big plans for them and it’s up to us to teach them that.
Your job as a mom never ends. Even into adulthood you will find they still need you and these gifts will be a special part of your relationship. So, during this gift giving time of year….remember what your kids need most has nothing to do with spending money and everything to do with loving them with your whole heart.