I’ve been married long enough to my hubby….to notice, he’s gotten some things figured out.
I mean, about women. Or, about me, our girls and our needs.
Don’t misunderstand, he’s not perfect. Although, he’s pretty darned close. He’s got his own baggage (don’t we all?) and he makes plenty of mistakes. But he’s also rather adept at handling the “ladies” in his life AND I REALLY LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM!!
Take for instance this morning. He hates early mornings, even more than me. However, that didn’t stop him from offering to give our daughter a ride to work extra early so her boyfriend could pick her up for a date directly from her office today.
See? Nice guy.
Sometimes, showing love is just as important as speaking love.
Just like every person, unmet needs can really wear down the love in relationships. It’s not always easy to speak up and share needs, it almost feels selfish to have them. Maybe that’s just my people-pleasing personality talking. I have needs! There, I said it.
Every person does.
What happens if you never focus on what your spouse needs?
I’ll tell you. You end up with a crappy marriage. For those who stick together, they move on to other things. Some even go so far as to find someone else to meet those unmet needs. Other’s just stay stuck and miserable, while resentment and animosity builds to dangerous levels. Maybe you know someone in that kind of relationship right now. It’s awful!
Marriage is harder than brain surgery. (my opinion)
One of the best ways for me to get my needs met is to be honest and tell my hubby what they are. For the most part, he knows me well enough to already know the big ones. Still, every day “needs” pop up and I have to let him in on them because MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS!
My hubby knows I need —
His attention.
His encouragement.
His adoration.
His help.
His night-driving skills.
His acceptance.
His money.
His brain (he shares with me, thanks babe).
His leadership.
His trust.
His strength.
His willingness to do what I hate.
His kindness.
His forgiveness.
His understanding.
His grace.
His faithfulness.
His ability to overlook some things.
His desire.
His love for our kids.
His respect.
His time.
That’s all. (Ha!)
Honey,
Thank you for the many ways you go out of your way to meet my needs. Not all of them are easy and I realize that. Still, you never think I’m outlandish and I love that about you. You really have set the bar high for our girls. What a man!
I LOVE YOU,
W