Really Phone, Come On

I’m slow to what’s going on in the world for the most part. I live in my own little bubble and that’s okay. I like my s l o w life. It works for me. Some people need to be on the cutting edge or smashed right in the mix of what’s what. Not me. I’m good.

Recently, I started getting some rather noisy alerts from my cellphone from Fakebook. Well, let me back up. First, it started with Twitter. I have a Twitter account, I rarely ever hang out there and even less than…actually tweet out a holla! However, right in the middle of a quiet spot of my life a ding-a-ling-a-ling alert would sound its horn tricking me into grabbing my phone for a VIP message from somewhere in the atmosphere.

Then, I’d see…it was just some alert from Twitter letting me know some celebrity tweeter had posted some blah-blah message for the world to see (and I should want to click right over there asap too).

ANNOYING, Y’ALL!!

Fast forward to now, as in….these are the days of MY LIFE when my handy-dandy little smart phone goes off all hours of the day and night with bells a chiming from Fakebook too.

WHAT THE?

Seriously. What the heck has changed? Who authorized this? Not me.

I don’t care what some lady who lives in the 15 mile radius of my house is selling online!! I don’t want a used Buick or some stretched out size 0 Aeropostale t-shirts. I don’t want you to wake me up at 5:30 am for stuff such as that.

Please don’t tell me I need to go into my settings and click on all the changes. I never clicked TO HAVE any of these alarming wake you up startling alerts in the first place.

Who’s been jacking with my phone?

And while I’m telling the world off about my disturbing phone issues. Why? Why is Facebook Live happening?

I HATE IT!

It blows up my feed. It slows down the whole page. I don’t care about your bloggy mama “get rich” idea (aka: buy my book) wearing full on eye make-up and face paint while sporting workout clothes (come on, do you see yourself?) — why? Get dressed. Your idea is probably super. However, I can’t take you seriously. Is it gym day or is it sell your product day? Which? And the food videos! You people are evil fat pushers! All I want to do is make all the sugary stuff and die a fatty! Stop it! It’s cruel.

Now, I have to go. I’ve got to get back into my settings and click off everything. (Which I have done and I still get the chiming dings for alerts to nonsense that I could care less about!!).

It’s phone wars, people! I declare!

via GIPHY

PS- I love you phone! No, I hate you. 🙂

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