Showdown At Walmart

I just had a few things to pick up from the store; bread, milk, eggs — you know, the normal necessities.  What I wasn't expecting?  To bust some dudes doing "bad guy" shenanigans!

It all started as I was boogying my way towards the grocery section by way of the pharmacy.  As I pass by the girls department, I feel the presence of two men to my left.  I very courteously look over in their direction (thinking they are probably hubby's shopping with their wives….ok, I was hoping that) only to see them suspiciously crouching behind little girl clothing racks and eyeing the GUN DEPARTMENT which is straight ahead of me.

Here, ensues my adventure of being a Wallyworld mallcop!  Unpaid, I might add.

I make a decision at that point when I realize they appear to be watching the sales clerk who walks away in the other direction.  As soon as she walks away, they get even more fidgety and start moving around the racks.  I walk directly into the sporting goods department and begin "fake" shopping.  I turn the aisle and am now facing the guys still standing in the girls department.  Nonchalantly, I browse the gun cases and camo clothing…peeking up at them every once in a while.  Still, they are acting completely suspicious!

Normally, I would not pay attention to anything like this…but seriously, these guys were alarming me.  I didn't know if they had plans to steal from the gun department or do some sort of Walmart takeover!  

I notice them take off and start running towards the toy department.  I push my cart on down the main aisle and I watch them ducking and running down each aisle….almost like kids playing in the store except these are big guys all grown up.  Next, I see a student of mine from last year and he hands the salesclerk a cd and asks her to scan it for the price.  He smiles and gets excited when he sees me and we say "Hi" to each other and I go on to the food section.  My plan, was to find someone (a manager) and tell them of the strange behavior.  I'm sure something is happening, I just don't know what.  Possibly, these guys are doing surveillance and I'm just in the wrong place.  Who knows?

The first person I run into (which took 5 minutes or so) was an employee in the very back of the store.  I tell her of my suspicion and she proceeds to tell me what the store's loss prevention people look like and wear.  I describe what the two guys are wearing and look like and she says, "I'll call it in!".  Ok, I walk away and then decide to head back to the area where I saw them last.  Along the way, I run into the student again.  He stops and we begin chatting about the great deals he just scored on a bag full of camo clothing.  We talk for a few minutes and catch up on what's happening and off I go.

Then, right beside me…one of the mystery dudes sticks his head out from behind a shelf and then jumps back when I see him.  I turn around and screech my cart to a halt and say, "HEY, YOU'RE ACTING VERY SUSPICIOUS!!".  He sheepishly steps out of the shadows and says, "Sorry, I'm with theft prevention and I'm watching that kid you were talking to!".  Eeek!  I say, "Oh no!".  He goes on to tell me that they were concerned if he was stealing because he had that bag of clothes while he was shopping.  I explained that as far as I knew the kid was a great fellow but if he's stealing, I understand.

(He wasn't stealing, by the way)

I  know it probably wasn't the smartest decision to confront these guys…..but honestly, what would you do?  They were running through the store, jumping behind racks, crouching down on the floor — all suspicious behavior if you ask me.  Their actions could've been meant for harm (hey, turn on the news) and I sure didn't want to be on the news involved in a Walmart take-down!

The moral of the story is…..uhhm, I don't know what the moral is here.  All I know is next time I see a Wallyworld sting go down, I'm hitting the deck!

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