Body Language

Did you know that the average woman smiles 62 times in a day and the average man smiles only 8 times? I admit that seems like a huge difference but I have to say it’s not surprising. Women tend to be held to a higher judgement when it comes to expression (IMO). If we didn’t smile several times a day, someone would ask us what’s the matter?

When you’re trying to connect with someone, I mean…really get their attention, how do you do it?

Do you smile when you speak?
Do you make eye contact and seem interested in what they are saying?
Do you look away as they speak?
Do you put down what you’re doing and lean in?
Do you make facial expressions? Frown, squint your eyes, furrow your brow?
Do you fold your arms?
Listen with an answer on the tip of your tongue?

Our bodies say way more than our mouths in just about every conversation throughout our day. Scary, huh? I’m cursed with an outgoing personality! It causes me to come on too strong a lot of the time. I blurt out exactly what’s on my mind (not always a good thing) and I’m honest to a dang fault. I also talk WITH MY HANDS!!! I have tried, really tried to keep from using them but those suckers come out a waving every time I’m in a good conversation with someone. I’m passionate and animated. Which can leave me with a feeling of “does this person NOT like me?”.

Body language is everything. It can heal relationships and it can wreck them. If you think about it, the way you carry yourself gives off a very important vibe regarding your inside emotions. If you’re mad, people are going to know it. If you are feeling warm and loving, they’ll know that too. Even people that are rather good at hiding their feelings show something isn’t alright through their body language. It may be a tiny glimpse but it will show in some way or another.

I heard recently that if we want to grow in our relationships, we have to be very aware of our body language. If we want to improve with our spouse or family….even outside relationships, we must reign in what our bodies are saying without us using our words.

For me, I know what I say with my facial expressions is key. I am my mother’s daughter. She never let you wonder how she was feeling and I tend to be just as bold. Shame on me! I regret picking up that habit. I can really love you and care about you…..and deeply wound you with just my facial response. It hurts me to admit. Sorry, family.

I don’t have a magic potion to this whole body language thing. But, I will take heart and I hope you do too…that what I say with my body matters. So, I will S L O W down and think as I’m speaking or listening to others. I will be more mindful of how I’m listening and what my body or face is saying when in a conversation. I will try to show interest, kindness and patience with my mind, heart and body. I want to make others feel loved and cherished, don’t you?

5 Ways to Use POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE:

1. Smile. (This goes for men too)

2. Make eye contact. (I hate talking to shifty-eyed peeps)

3. Lean in. (This doesn’t mean invade another’s personal space)

4. Relax. (Don’t fidget, shift or wiggle around)

5. Show honest emotion. (Lying or deceit is easily detected)

Now, go on…get out there and be friendly!

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