Why Am I So Dang Touchy?

My whole life I’ve been called a drama queen. Bossy too. I’ve tried to tamp down all that is me for most of my life. That’s over 52 years, by the way. The reality of it is that I cannot change who I am. I am a highly sensitive person. I feel every feel. I am intuitive, discerning and I can read pretty much every other human like a giant lettered book. I see right through motives, I know when you’re lying and I can tell if you dig me or not….instantly. I am emotional and full of tenderness. I hate chaos, messes and stress feels like a chokehold on my very being. I love people but I need the safety and quiet of home. I want to go & see but if it’s crowded with people, I get so overwhelmed with anxiety that I want to melt down. I’m not weird, I swear it. I am confident and sure of myself, people don’t easily intimidate me. I love being social, but when I’m done….I am done. I have to go home to regroup. I need space but I also need interaction. I love smiling and I thrive on friendships and relationships in general. I want it all and at the same time….want it all to be quiet, peaceful and lovely.

I’m a highly sensitive person.

I know exactly where I got it, this super dose of sensitivity. My mother was the first person I can remember to show these powerful hard-to-understand emotions to me. She never knew she had it, but looking back on my life with her….I can see clearly, she was a HSP. She never liked noisy chaotic environments and she couldn’t handle too much stimuli or she would react in the most negative of ways. For most of her life, she felt everything amped up bigger than normal. A lot of the time she mismanaged all her emotions which is very easy to do when you’re not aware of the why you feel the things you do. She spent a lifetime, reacting or as some would say, over-reacting. Something I have done myself in order to just get by.

So, what the heck does HSP mean or look like? Highly sensitive people often “feel too much” and “feel too deep.” … High sensitivity can be defined as acute physical, mental, and emotional responses to external (social, environmental) or internal (intra-personal) stimuli. A highly sensitive person may be an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between.

When I was a little girl, I would get my feelings hurt so easily. It didn’t take much to break me apart. Often my family would ridicule me or call me a drama queen. Part of being HSP is that extra boost of empath and this world is full of “stuff” that wrecks the feely feels of people like me. I’ve learned to avoid things that pull my heart to pieces; sad commercials, animal cruelty, pain of others, chaos, high stress… Still, it’s impossible to completely remove yourself from life.

Not sure what HSP really entails? Go here!

Highly Sensitive Person TEST

Another peek at an article on HSP, click here!

While I’m only at the beginning of understanding this about myself, I hope to use what I learn to be better not more annoying. Face it, the world isn’t catering to highly sensitive people and why should it? Life is tough for everyone, we’ve all gotta find the path to coping and functioning. I don’t know who else needs this kind of information but my prayer is that someone will find a path to the truth about themself and finally make use of that extra dose of sensitivity God gave them.

Finally, I’m not just being too sensitive and neither are you. We’re built a little different, that’s all. Let’s figure out how to use the superpower for good!

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