Posts Tagged ‘stress’

Of Course It’s Hard

Friday, February 23rd, 2018

There isn’t a spot in my house that looks or feels normal. Not one room has escaped my wrath of sorting and packing. I’ve pulled out boxes of stuff that haven’t been touched since we moved in and I’ve let go of so many things that I know we just do not need. Not all of it has been awful, just some of it. Moving is like looking in the mirror. You cannot do it without serious reflection of your habits, faults and weaknesses.

My reflection is saying, “Let it all go!”.

I suppose I’ve been packing up my heart (much like I’m packing up my house) for the last year and a half. I’ve packed up dreams of my hubby finding a great job nearby so that we could carry on as if nothing terrible had ever happened. I’ve packed up hoping that we wouldn’t be forced to do EXACTLY what we’re having to do right now (moving sucks!). I’ve packed up all the ways I’ve gotten comfortable about my life and traded it for a constant uncertainty that just won’t let up. I’ve packed up relationships (I know those don’t end – but hanging with the ones you love when you move far away is almost impossible). I’ve packed up my security and I fear I may never feel safe again. I’ve packed up my trust in people. You’d think I’d be mature enough to see all of this as a passing thing… but, I never knew how badly a long jobless season of life would hurt me or my hubby.

I’ve written about perspective here before and I’m not so damaged that I can’t reach inside somewhere and find a way to put all that’s happened in perspective. I KNOW things could be so much harder than what we’ve experienced. While we’ve suffered, we haven’t endured what we deserve. Thank you, Lord. Still, my pain is real (to me) just as it is to anyone suffering through hardship.

Pain, I’m learning…forces us to grow.

I’ve confessed my anger many times and I will tell you, the human mind and heart aren’t easy to manage when life keeps rolling over you and smashing you to pieces. My faith has been an anchor to hold me in place and believe me, I’ve wanted to just do what I want to do and to just feel what I want to feel. But, that’s not how God leaves us. He is hope-filled and life-giving when we are at our most hopeless and looking to give up!

One week from today, this house will be empty of any trace we were ever here. I’m happy and sad, scared and excited, looking ahead and trying NOT to look back. Isn’t it crazy how we root ourselves to places? I’ve got a future, no matter how it looks today and I can do what feels hard or impossible. With God, nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37)!

You Think You’re Anxious?

Wednesday, August 9th, 2017

It’s back to school time and my calendar is already filling up with sub days. This morning I was thinking about all the sweet punkin’s heading back to routines, classrooms, early bedtimes, homework and even all the teen drivers. That’s what I do, I’m a mom and I mom up every situation. Even though all my darlin’s are out living big people life, the body has a hard time forgetting to be mom-like.

If I could wave a sign outside in my yard to all the cars going by with kids heading to school – I’d wish I could tell you a few very important things about the stress your kids experience after you peel out from the drop-off line. I know, I know…they’re kids. What in the heck kind of stress are they feeling? Well, that depends on the kid.

Just about every single kid experiences school anxiety. Trust me, it’s scary walking into school after being home and having the freedom to be themselves all summer long. Especially for the teen & pre-teen group. The pressure on them is enormous! They are in this constant battle with themselves and the world. Everywhere they look, expectations are staring them in the face. The amount of kids without cellphones right now is pretty minimal. So, imagine everything they see just on their phones all day and night.

If you didn’t know it, the world is pushy. The most easily influenced people of all society right now are teenagers. They are searching! They look for acceptance, they want to fit in and they are fighting their toughest battle with their crazy adolescent puberty infested bodies! Everything is racing at them at mock speed and then we send them off to school.

They are anxious and they aren’t always telling you that either.

The pressure to look a certain way, to have a particular type of clothing….to be from an important family, that stuff is STILL GOING ON IN SCHOOL! Just like when you were there! I swear it! I wouldn’t lie to you. Only now, it is magnified to a level you cannot even imagine!

Your kid is growing up in a society where a teen girl can sell out of a lip plumping product on Home Shopping Network in record time just because of the family she was born into. They see how the world swoons over the successes of young kids like Kylie and they long to be loved like that. I read a head-line yesterday of the lip plumper reality starlette admitting how guilty she feels that she doesn’t drive her Lamborghini enough.

Your kids wants to borrow your car. Pressure. [feel the feels MOM]

Now don’t get me wrong. Kids have to do a particular amount of struggling to get to the kind of person they eventually need to be. Do not run in and rescue your kids like the helicopter mom I was. Step back, think about your next move but whatever it is MAKE SURE YOU ARE A SAFE PLACE FOR YOUR KIDS!!!

My mom days are much different these days. I sit around wishing one would call or text me (they don’t!). I don’t have to blow my cash on school clothes or fight with some outlandish little skinny twerp in the middle of TJ MAXX over an outfit. I’m free. Man, I miss them! 😉

Just remember to love on and pray for your kid. Pay attention to the signs of worry or anxiety. Spend some time talking with them and really LISTEN. Ask them how you can help when things are getting too much for them. Don’t barge in, but ask what they need from you most. The truth is, they are scared. They’re afraid people won’t like them, they have just enough awkwardness to them to feel like they are freaks. You play a huge role in escorting them on into the real world.

They need you. They may not act like it, but they do. And they want you to place boundaries on them. DO IT! (You can thank me later!)

Oh and when I flip my sign over as you drive by….it will say —>

I’M NOT JEALOUS OF YOU, MOM & DAD!
These are the hardest days of your ever-lovin’ life!
BE STRONG!

Life Does Go On

Thursday, September 8th, 2016

good inten

Tomorrow is the day we close the book on our old life and open up a shiny new page with fresh hopes and dreams. It’s sad and exciting all at the same time. Change is scary. Especially, when you’re one month away from turning 50 years old.

I wish I could say that this hasn’t rocked my world in a bad way. It hit me like a concrete truck and threatened to back over me everyday since I heard the news.

Do you know how hard it is to wrangle in your emotions and feelings when someone knocks you down for no good reason?

I’ve wanted to lash out. That only hurts me, not them.
I’ve wanted to hate the people responsible. God reminds me to love, especially those who don’t deserve it.
I’ve wanted to cry. I have and I probably will a few more times.
I’ve wanted to forget the whole last 3 years + 1 month. God blessed us during that time too.
I’ve wanted to sell my house and move far far away. That still might happen.
I’ve wanted to give up. Why? The ones responsible for my stress haven’t thought about me or my family once since July 7th. I have to keep going.
I’ve wanted to wish calamity to my enemies. I don’t have to waste my time with that, God sees everything and He really does handle sin. His wrath and mine do not compare.
I’ve wanted to hide out and wallow in my pity. God didn’t send Jesus for me to be a big crybaby. Jesus came so that I would live life with abundance! I have so much to be happy about.
I’ve wanted to lose my cool. I don’t need to go to jail.
I’ve wanted to do a lot of things that just don’t match up with my Christian faith. God has a plan. He doesn’t need me to act or think outside of HIM in order to move forward.

I suppose that’s all normal when you feel like your life is falling to pieces. It doesn’t help that sticking around another 6 weeks at a job that has no future can feel like a constant twist of the knife in your back. Every little thing feels like a snub or that people are laughing behind your back. Especially, when other employees are rewarded for all their hard work (and you are not even thanked for all you did to move 2 different offices to new locations). Ouch! That hurt!

But, that brings me to a new understanding about people and how I can navigate my own feelings when the crap hits the fan.

1. Develop an understanding heart.
People are just human. Some are kinder than others and some are just thoughtless. Forgive them when they hurt you and just let it go. God really does handle every little thing.

2. Separate the things you can control from the things you can’t.
Keep moving forward even when tempted to give up.

3. Give 100% to the things that matter most.
Don’t waste time trying to make a fruitless effort on all the stupid little things that really don’t matter. Focus on the big thing that does.

4. Embrace tough times.
This is hard, but…scripture points out that when you’re walking through fire, God is refining you (and me) to be something useful to Him and His Kingdom. Tough times mold us, change us and make us better. We are going to be incredible!!

5. Refill your pitcher.
Just like an engine that needs new oil, our heart and mind need topped off too. We must do the things that fuel us and rejuvenate our souls. Have fun, smile and enjoy the goodness of life. It doesn’t negate the circumstance but it does give us a better perspective.

stop letting

I can’t look back with regret. Life does go on…

Lord,
When I am tempted to live like the world, bring me a fresh perspective as to WHO I AM in CHRIST! I’m bigger than what happens to me or my family and I can live through adversity.
Amen

Time in a Bottle

Tuesday, July 26th, 2016

I feel like I need to put all my happy moments in a bottle.

grate

In spite of all the desperation going on in my life right now…..I do have a lot of happy to be thankful for as well.

Dinesh movie

My oldest is home (temporarily, because…..he’s unemployed too) and that gives me time with him that I’d normally not have now that he lives in Texas.

He’s diligently searching and working hard at a friend’s landscaping business (it is record hot here right now!) while he’s in town. But, having him here is a huge blessing to my heart. I love spending time with my kids! I’ll need a huge bottle to hold all these memories!

sunroof

They never think it’s weird to do crazy things with their old parents. Or when I hang out of my sunroof in the mexican restaurant drive-thru….they aren’t even embarrassed. This deserves to go in all our bottles!

Right kids?

dogs

Having Gracie home is special too. The girl is a lover! She’s so sweet and she isn’t afraid to let you know how she feels. Bottling it, every moment with her.

boarding

She likes to do fun stuff too. She kayaks, skateboards…jeeps it up and loves a good couch snuggle. Yesterday, I went by their room to let her out and couldn’t find her. I called her name then noticed the covers wrestling around and she popped out like a jack-in-the-box. She is a fun dog! Sticking that memory in my bottle!

blue

Here in Indy, another policeman was shot. It’s getting to the point that every time I see a newsflash I think it can’t be happening AGAIN. But, it is. Our world has gone crazy. God bless our brave police! My family’s house shines up with support for those who live and die protecting us. Into the bottle this goes!

lizzy ghost

I was vainly trying to take a bathroom mirror selfie recently when I realized I had company. Miss Lizzy is a loyal gal. She sticks with me like a true best friend. I love seeing her sweet little face in the middle of my picture. That belongs in my bottle, for certain.

Troubled times are inevitable because life is full of ups & downs. I want to hang on to all of it. The hard moments fill my tank just like the easy ones. Both work in my spirit. I’m strong, I’m healthy and I’m going to survive the stress of the unknown.

In the meantime, I’m going to pour all my happy moments in a bottle to hold onto for the times when I feel too overwhelmed to see the good.

God has this

Don’t Whig Out

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

coping

Just to put your mind at ease…..

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS STRESSED OUT UNDER PRESSURE!

EVERY PERSON has the capacity to lose their cool. For some, it’s simmering on a back burner waiting for just the right infraction to cause a big boil over. For others, the stress-o-meter is ticking like a time bomb and one little bitty teeny weeny mistake will cause the neighbors to call the cops.

Don’t act like you’re family doesn’t get crazy. Every single person feels stress. Every family has a cornucopia of emotions, expectations and desires. Mix all that together and you have a recipe for disaster.

I’ve had my own moments of near meltdown already this holiday season. I believe that (and I’m a REALLY HIGH STRUNG CHICK) personalities mingling together can be a set-up for frustration. Maybe someone likes peas and no one else in the group does (not that – that happened in my house) or perhaps, someone took apart the table to do some repairs when you need a functioning table. I don’t know what your vice is, but you do.

Imagine not getting all upset.

Really, imagine it.

holidays

I want you to know, I get it that things get hairy. I live in the real world and I have real human people that I love and cherish in my own family. Probably just like you. We also know how to get on each others nerves better than anyone else on the earth. Where else can there be sarcasm, little digs and fun-poking? Family is the safe zone, right?

Here’s my advice:

Don’t participate. Yep, I said it. DO NOT FALL INTO THE WAGON OF PICKING ON ANYONE (every family has that person that gets all the ribbing). DO NOT MAKE SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING (even if you DO NOT like the dressing or gravy). DO NOT ARGUE WITH FOOLS (anyone who blah-blah’s their perfect opinion is being foolish). DO NOT BEHAVE IN A HOSTILE WAY (even if your blood is boiling). DO NOT WEAR YOUR FEELINGS ON YOUR DANGED SHIRT SLEEVE (this one is for me, probably not you). DO NOT LET THE LITTLE THINGS RUIN YOUR TIME WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE (don’t cry over spilled milk, you know?). DO NOT WALLOW IN THE PEN WITH PIGS (when someone pushes, walk away you don’t need to get dirty too). DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE LIKE A JERK (you’re going to feel jerky, suppress it. Smash it down). DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM (this is me again, sorry). DO NOT BE A PERSON THAT LOOKS FOR TROUBLE (borrowing problems seems to be easier when family is all crammed together). DO NOT GANG UP ON ANYONE OR JOIN RANKS WITH ANY SIDE OF ANY ISSUE (maybe certain topics should be off limits?). DO NOT MISS THE CHANCE TO ENJOY THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!!!

I don’t know how to help you keep the cops away from your Thanksgiving holiday. All I can do is suggest you take care of yourself. If family gets you too worked up, limit your time together. Spend a little time loving yourself; if you are a runner…take a jog. If you are an extra tense person, schedule a massage or even better spend some time with a special family member giving neck rubs and talking. Don’t let the pressure get so bad that you boil over and whig out.

focus

Thank God for another year together. Tell the people you love that you’re thankful for them. Being thankful and showing it always helps me focus on the good in others and myself. And if you burn the rolls…fahhhgetaboutit!

family family

Turn It Off

Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

Everybody has those "off" days, right?  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  Yesterday (Friday – my favorite danged day ever), everything I touched turned crazy.

— My phone wouldn't send text messages.

— I covered for someone in a class of monkeys.

— My mouse wouldn't work for my computer.

— I ordered, waited the 1 1/2 hr wait, and paid for a cold pizza.

— I had no volume on my tv because our DVR box had to be replaced and when I tried to get volume I totally wiped out tv altogether.

— I had a slap of reality and felt the full weight of moving.  MY HOUSE IS FULL OF CRAP!

— I stabbed myself (during my sleep) in the nose, so hard with my thumbnail that I cut myself and woke up crying.

Then after doing the only thing I knew to help (sleeping it off for the night)….I woke up to a rockin' stomach situation.  Hey, thanks 800 mg of strong anti-viral meds 5 times a day for THE STINKIN' SHINGLES!!

It's 1:36pm and I still haven't eaten any food.  I have stepped up to the plate and cooked a big pot of veggie soup though.  So, no more feeling sorry for myself.  Even when I go to rub my nose and remember it hurts like a beast.  I'm working on my Thanksgiving grocery list (isn't that ironic) and cleaning up the house that has no kids living in it.  How did it get so messy?  I'll never know.

I feel it's my duty to let you know…we all have those days.  The ones where nothing seems to go right and trouble lurks around every corner.  The good news is that we can certainly learn to laugh about them.  If not, we are going to turn surly and angry and then bitterness will rule our very being.  Since I'm not one that wants to hang out in that category for any longer than necessary I'm looking back at that list of issues and laughing.

Seriously, I stabbed my nose?  What was I doing?  Hand jive?