Posts Tagged ‘unemployed’

Do This….or Something Better

Wednesday, April 12th, 2017

needs

There are prayers for help and then there are beat down heaven’s doors begging for mercy kind of help prayers. I’ve done both. Over the last season of my life, I’ve mulled over my circumstance (much like anyone would do in my position) and I’ve sought God’s direction for what’s felt like impending doom once another month comes and goes…..and my husband is still unemployed.

How long, Lord? How long can this go on?

It’s only human to ask and I know God isn’t the least bit surprised at my human nature pondering. I’m terribly adept at questioning every little thing, just ask my family. I’m a questioner. I question. I analyze and roll every detail of the answer around just in case there’s a scenario that could switch things up to equal something else. I cover every base.

You’re welcome, world.

Still, here I sit in pretty much the same boat I was in back in September. Only this time I’m closer to a wedding of one of my daughters’, at the end of my school year and any subbing days I might get and filled with a whole lot more cynicism than a person should possess. What next?

Bad bad bad. Never ask that. More trouble coming your way, fool.

This Sunday is Easter and the sermon last week was so good that I left church with a brand new perspective on the damage done to my heart over the course of this last year. Betrayal. No one knew betrayal the way Jesus did. His experience with it opened my whiny complaining heart to understanding that I CAN GET OVER what’s been done to me. I can forgive and I can move on. I can trust that it’s all part of the journey to where God wants me to be eventually.

God never leaves us where we are, He’s always pushing us forward.

So, back to all the praying and begging God to work a miracle in my life. All these months, He’s listened to me. I’ve blown my horn loud and obnoxiously for Him to hear every little detail of what I need and when I need it by. He is so gracious.

I’ve not gone hungry…but, I’ve worried about how to pay for groceries.
I’ve not gone without a home or electricity…but, I’ve played magic tricks with my funds to pay both.
I’ve not had to sell my belongings…but, I’ve learned to be content with everything I own when I’d really like to purchase something special.
I’ve kept my dignity…but, the devil has shown up almost daily to remind me just how pathetic it is to be jobless and living with the fear of it never ending.

Oh, how gracious my God still is.

needs 1

In all that, He still listens to me. He above all knows my every need and He is at work. My weak faith or belief that He’s going to do something bigger and better is tainted by my lack of understanding just how big God really is in the great scheme of things.

HE IS SO BIG, Y’ALL!

I do not have the mental capacity to understand all that God is and will be…but I know that all I have to do is ask and He will go exceedingly above and beyond whatever it is to answer me.

My new prayer?

Lord,

Do this…..or something better.

Amen

Time in a Bottle

Tuesday, July 26th, 2016

I feel like I need to put all my happy moments in a bottle.

grate

In spite of all the desperation going on in my life right now…..I do have a lot of happy to be thankful for as well.

Dinesh movie

My oldest is home (temporarily, because…..he’s unemployed too) and that gives me time with him that I’d normally not have now that he lives in Texas.

He’s diligently searching and working hard at a friend’s landscaping business (it is record hot here right now!) while he’s in town. But, having him here is a huge blessing to my heart. I love spending time with my kids! I’ll need a huge bottle to hold all these memories!

sunroof

They never think it’s weird to do crazy things with their old parents. Or when I hang out of my sunroof in the mexican restaurant drive-thru….they aren’t even embarrassed. This deserves to go in all our bottles!

Right kids?

dogs

Having Gracie home is special too. The girl is a lover! She’s so sweet and she isn’t afraid to let you know how she feels. Bottling it, every moment with her.

boarding

She likes to do fun stuff too. She kayaks, skateboards…jeeps it up and loves a good couch snuggle. Yesterday, I went by their room to let her out and couldn’t find her. I called her name then noticed the covers wrestling around and she popped out like a jack-in-the-box. She is a fun dog! Sticking that memory in my bottle!

blue

Here in Indy, another policeman was shot. It’s getting to the point that every time I see a newsflash I think it can’t be happening AGAIN. But, it is. Our world has gone crazy. God bless our brave police! My family’s house shines up with support for those who live and die protecting us. Into the bottle this goes!

lizzy ghost

I was vainly trying to take a bathroom mirror selfie recently when I realized I had company. Miss Lizzy is a loyal gal. She sticks with me like a true best friend. I love seeing her sweet little face in the middle of my picture. That belongs in my bottle, for certain.

Troubled times are inevitable because life is full of ups & downs. I want to hang on to all of it. The hard moments fill my tank just like the easy ones. Both work in my spirit. I’m strong, I’m healthy and I’m going to survive the stress of the unknown.

In the meantime, I’m going to pour all my happy moments in a bottle to hold onto for the times when I feel too overwhelmed to see the good.

God has this