Posts Tagged ‘Trusting God’

Do This….or Something Better

Wednesday, April 12th, 2017


There are prayers for help and then there are beat down heaven’s doors begging for mercy kind of help prayers. I’ve done both. Over the last season of my life, I’ve mulled over my circumstance (much like anyone would do in my position) and I’ve sought God’s direction for what’s felt like impending doom once another month comes and goes…..and my husband is still unemployed.

How long, Lord? How long can this go on?

It’s only human to ask and I know God isn’t the least bit surprised at my human nature pondering. I’m terribly adept at questioning every little thing, just ask my family. I’m a questioner. I question. I analyze and roll every detail of the answer around just in case there’s a scenario that could switch things up to equal something else. I cover every base.

You’re welcome, world.

Still, here I sit in pretty much the same boat I was in back in September. Only this time I’m closer to a wedding of one of my daughters’, at the end of my school year and any subbing days I might get and filled with a whole lot more cynicism than a person should possess. What next?

Bad bad bad. Never ask that. More trouble coming your way, fool.

This Sunday is Easter and the sermon last week was so good that I left church with a brand new perspective on the damage done to my heart over the course of this last year. Betrayal. No one knew betrayal the way Jesus did. His experience with it opened my whiny complaining heart to understanding that I CAN GET OVER what’s been done to me. I can forgive and I can move on. I can trust that it’s all part of the journey to where God wants me to be eventually.

God never leaves us where we are, He’s always pushing us forward.

So, back to all the praying and begging God to work a miracle in my life. All these months, He’s listened to me. I’ve blown my horn loud and obnoxiously for Him to hear every little detail of what I need and when I need it by. He is so gracious.

I’ve not gone hungry…but, I’ve worried about how to pay for groceries.
I’ve not gone without a home or electricity…but, I’ve played magic tricks with my funds to pay both.
I’ve not had to sell my belongings…but, I’ve learned to be content with everything I own when I’d really like to purchase something special.
I’ve kept my dignity…but, the devil has shown up almost daily to remind me just how pathetic it is to be jobless and living with the fear of it never ending.

Oh, how gracious my God still is.

needs 1

In all that, He still listens to me. He above all knows my every need and He is at work. My weak faith or belief that He’s going to do something bigger and better is tainted by my lack of understanding just how big God really is in the great scheme of things.


I do not have the mental capacity to understand all that God is and will be…but I know that all I have to do is ask and He will go exceedingly above and beyond whatever it is to answer me.

My new prayer?


Do this…..or something better.


Apart From Christ

Saturday, November 12th, 2016

In my neighborhood yesterday…a few twerps thought it would be a great idea to drive around flying the rebel flag outside their truck while hollering at people of different color/race.


On tv…the news continues to show the many rallies/riots/protests of the people who are angry and upset over the election results.


All over social media…friends, acquaintances, people I don’t know, buzz-feeds, news groups, professional post’ers, do-good’ers and the like are posting every little tid-bit of information that represents how they feel about the current status of America and all it’s latest Presidential conundrums.


I got caught up in it myself. I reacted to a post that a friend linked up and before you know it, I was in the middle of a huge discussion. I realized pretty quickly there was no winning and honestly, who really thinks they are going to win anyone over to their way of thinking regarding any of this political nonsense?

That’s not happening.

What we see happening here is a giant case of this world needs CHRIST. Which is ironic because in my friends post God was brought up. Something like, “I bet God is super proud right now!” I cannot speak for the writers true intent there but in my own understanding – I would like to agree with the frustration. Even though I don’t believe we have the exact same sentiment going here.

How could God be super proud of the things happening all across this nation that involve hurting one another and destroying a society that wants to literally SELF IMPLODE?

I’m no expert, but I am a person with half-a-brain and a whole banged up beaten down heart! I can see the ugliness for what it is, evil. Now, don’t get me wrong. I bet there are plenty of people upset over the election that mean zero harm to anyone or anything. Not every protester is a criminal or terrorist raking American streets trying to prove a point that can never be made. The ones who are taking it to the next level are the people I’m focusing on in this post.

You are wrong.

Your message is completely off target now. If your intention was to LOVINGLY & PEACEFULLY engage the country in a march to show unity for supporting the Democratic candidate…you’ve now gone screeching the other way. Breaking laws to show your anger, wrong. Hurting others to prove your candidate was the better choice, wrong. Damaging property, wrong. Blocking people inside their vehicles, wrong.

Cry in public, be sad. There’s nothing wrong with showing your emotions or your disappointment. Don’t wreck the world we live in because you disagree. It’s wrong. It’s counter-productive and it’s only making you look like the ones filled with hate.

lord fight

I can only tell you what I know about this life and living it in accordance with Christ. My life isn’t an after-thought with God. He purposefully gave His perfect life for my very flawed and messy one. He took my sin and threw it as far as the eye can see because I accepted Him as my Savior. I’m a new creature, not a perfect one but a NEW ONE. I live out each day with the assurance that what I do or don’t do, God still loves me and is willing to forgive me and make me new…over & over & over again. All because, I ask with a repentant heart. I’m His and not mine alone.

I can trust Him with the things of this world that I cannot understand or that I even disagree with. He is on the throne, reigning High and ready & willing to do immeasurable wonders….if we only ask.

So, for those of you beating the streets with your anger and pain. Turn to Him, don’t turn to violence or rage. Your feelings are real to you and they matter to God. Stop finger-pointing and screaming hate. Wrangle up your energy in a way that helps you and those around you, not in a way that makes you look out of your minds and definitely neglectful of heart. Nothing is going to change the outcome of our next President. That decision has been made by a free society who chose to make their voices roar within the legal democracy of our nation.

I ask you to remember that your family and mine are not any different today than they were on Monday night. We still have full power over each experience, way of thinking, family decision and lifestyle. Cling tightly to what it is that makes your family yours. My prayer is that it would include the love and acceptance of a Holy God and His Perfect Son, Jesus Christ.

Because, apart from Christ….we are nothing.

cs lew

Sighing in the Darkness

Wednesday, July 27th, 2016

dark start

I’m not sleeping well. It seems as though Satan uses the darkness of night to really sneak up on me and remind me of all the trouble that can come from not having a full-time job offer in the works.

What a connection, huh? Darkness….Satan? It’s like they go together in every way.

I can’t answer as to why my mind gets so restless at night. Perhaps, it’s because when we finally slow down the reality of being jobless blankets over us both. Some night’s the weight of it feels almost unbearable. I say “both” because I noticed lately that my husband (who usually falls right to sleep) has developed a new habit of sighing over & over before he finally drifts off.

Darkness isn’t always a bad place. Good things happen there too. Good rest, connection to the one you love…..quiet thoughts and still moments. Yet, when we’re struggling to trust…..darkness can be used as an awful weapon against us.

trust in darkness

Everything is going to be okay. That’s what I keep telling myself. This life, the life we’ve built in this new town….is not the end. Something great is ahead. In spite of what someone might have decided for us, God is at work! He has something even better in mind. His good & holy kind of better.

I’d rather be somewhere in HIS WILL than in my own someplace comfy. Any day.

2 tim 1 7

Here’s to trusting God in all the dark moments. 2 Timothy is not messing around when it says FEAR DOESN’T COME FROM GOD. I know this…..I believe this and I pray away all the sighs in the night.

I believe you when you say – TRUST ME. I believe you see all the unknown could be’s in my life and you have everything under control. Help me see what you see.

I’m Afraid…. of What?

Thursday, August 20th, 2015

One night (this could have been said, many nights) I couldn’t sleep because my mind was racing with “What if’s”; What if he has an accident? What if a car doesn’t see him on his motorcycle? What if she is in the wrong place at the wrong time? What if someone tries to break in? What if I get sick? What if he loses his job? What if we can’t pay our bills?

WHAT IF? (Insert: hand-wringing, tossing & turning, heavy sighing)

As a mom, I think some worrying is probably unavoidable. But, then again, is it?

fear not

After reading a great article yesterday by the very young (Hello, he WASN’T ALIVE when the Space Shuttle blew up?) Frank Powell on 9 Sins Christians Are Okay With, I took a little bop right between the eyes (thanks, Frank) at my own acceptance of most of what was on his list. Fear and apathy being two of my biggest weaknesses.

I’m a Christian. I’ve been a Christian a looooooong time (I was in my first year of college when the Space Shuttle blew up). I’ve deepened in my faith. I’ve read scripture for knowledge and heart power and obedience.

Still, I grapple with fear.

I know better, is what I’m saying. I know it, I can even feel it. It’s wrong and unnecessary. Yet, as soon as the lights go out, or the kid drives away or the weird pains in my body rear up….I resort to feeling afraid.

fear fear

Feeling afraid is like telling God – He isn’t big enough to take care of me or the people I love and fret over. Rolling around in bed while my mind races around with the what if’s, is not from God.


God doesn’t dole out fear (but Satan sure does). He doesn’t use fear to get us to do what He wants either. Like many have assumed throughout their lives.

Does that mean we shouldn’t fear Him?


It means, we shouldn’t mix up a Holy reverence for who God is in our lives with the VBS character we play like He is in our real world living.

God is Holy. God is righteous. God is pure. God is wise beyond all knowledge. God is power. God is merciful. God is everywhere all the time. God is the Great I Am. HE was, HE is and HE will always be.

My knowledge of those attributes of Him propel me to honor Him, to trust Him and to believe Him when He says….

fear trusts

I can rest knowing God has complete control over my life.

His love for me is deeper than any kind of love that I’ll ever know on this earth. His love for the people I care about is even stronger than the love I feel for them.

So, why should I worry or fear?

Right now, I have a sign by my front door and I notice people slowing down as they walk by to read it…

…And it’s time I start living like I believe it!

whole world

What are you afraid of?