Posts Tagged ‘waiting’

What Can I Do for You Lord?

Monday, January 1st, 2018

Who knew that through the hardest year of my life I would grow so much? Year after year, I’ve prayed and asked God to help me grow in my faith. 2017 was definitely one for the books! I had no choice but to grow, it was either that or lay down and die. The pain was unbearable at times. The loss, the lostness….so much and yet God kept me safe, loved and on track.

Maybe it’s maturity (which, I’m still working on guys) that has opened my eyes to what really matters in this life. Jobs, things…being included or liked by others, none of that really matters in the grand scheme of things. My heart has proven to be one of the wonkiest things about me and just because God is completely into our hearts and the condition of them within us as a people — HE DOESN’T LEAVE US AS IS!

So many times I banged on heavens doors begging God to end our joblessness and He heard me. Yet, nothing changed. Except it did. Me, I changed. I woke up every morning starving for a Word from Him. Knowing that another day would come and go without a job offer or a paycheck….I would sit with Him for hours praying and listening.

Something I wouldn’t have done otherwise.

I know what you’re thinking: What kind of Christian are you? I’ll answer you: A selfish pathetic one!

See, I’ve lived 50+ years asking. Not asking the question God wants to hear most either. Just asking for all the wants I have for ME! Give me this, let me have that….gimme gimme gimme! All with a nice little GODLIKE bow on top. Afterall, God loves His children and wants them to have everything they want, right?


He doesn’t care about anything we can acquire here on earth. Really. He doesn’t give a flip about how big your house is or how popular you are. Not a smidgen. He doesn’t look down and say, “Wow, you have made a ton of money child…let me give you more since you’re so good at it!”. Nope. He isn’t about that. Don’t get me wrong, He blesses us. He loves us. But, he’s not all about dumping success on us without some sort of plan.

How we use what He’s given us matters.

I’ve squandered blessings without even considering they were there for me to use to honor God. Maybe you have too. So many times this year I found myself in positions of waiting. Honestly, WAITING could be my word of the year for 2017 but since I gave up claiming a word, nahhhh!

It hurt to wait. It was mind-blowing, painful and heart-ripping! There were times that I had to sit back and watch others dig deep in pockets and hearts to love on people in need or desperate for rescue….knowing that I was one of those in the most desperate need for help.


At times it felt as if I was standing outside of myself watching it play out in a dream. Powerless. I could barely stand it. If felt similar to the scene in the Scrooge where he has this ghostly vision into his life and can see into all that is happening around him and HIS EYES ARE OPENED! My eyes were opened to so much through waiting.

Still, I got up every morning and studied God’s Word. I sat listening, I spilled my heart and I let His peace overwhelm me when I couldn’t stop the desperation filling my head and heart. He was faithful, patient and merciful. Even when I was angry. He loved me.

Nothing has changed but everything is just as it should be.

My heart is healing, my mind is focused on what matters most and God is still working. I may never know why this has happened to us and that’s okay. God owes me nothing, it’s me that’s the debtor. I owe Him. He has given me so much, losing stuff can’t compare to what God has done for me. He breaks every chain, even the chain of faith laziness. 2017 revealed to me just how neglectful of Him that I’d been living. Such a shame.

My future is hopeful not because of anything other than God says it is and I trust Him with every day. I can do hard things. I can wait. I can be still and know that HE IS GOD. Ask me how I know.

So, as I walk into 2018 thankful for every day of the last year….I ask God, What can I do for you, Lord? Not do this for me, but HOW CAN I SERVE YOU with my life? Use me. Push me out there to love, help and do for whoever it is that needs YOU through me. I’m open, my time is yours.

I waited and He heard me.

Call Me Back

Friday, October 20th, 2017

For over a year, I’ve wandered around trying to figure out what God was doing in my life. Why was this very terrible thing happening to me and my family? If you’ve read any of my posts in the last 14 months then you’ve picked up on my desperation and fear of all the damage losing a job can cause.

I’ve been a mess.

Losing a job is NO JOKE! Sometimes I feel like no one understands just how horrible being in this position feels. I appreciate every single person who’s encouraged us, prayed for us and hoped alongside us for a job offer. Wow, what a blessing it has been to see friends and family rally for us. Thank you!

Still, here we are wondering what in the heck is going to happen to us.

Can you imagine applying for countless jobs (which is like a full-time job in itself!) and never ever ever hearing back from the companies? Throughout this whole long year, we’ve sat waiting while employers give a time frame for “getting back to you” AND THEY NEVER EVEN EMAIL BACK! Who does that? What’s so very difficult about sending a NO THANK YOU message? Who are these people? And why in the world do they even have jobs? Clearly, they don’t know what they are doing!

Several weeks ago, my hubby interviewed for a job that took over 4 long hours and by the time he arrived back home, he felt it went very well. The company told him they expected to offer “someone” the job by the next week.


He’s never heard diddly from these jokers. What? Unbelievable! Why not shoot out an email that ends the relationship? As in, “Hey…So & So, thanks for taking time to meet with us. We appreciate your interest in our company. At this time, we’ve decided to go a different route. We have found our candidate and we wish you luck in your search for employment.

How hard is that? What in the world does it cost someone to offer such a simple courtesy?

I’m baffled. I’m frustrated. I’m shocked.

This world is not my home. But, I’ll tell you…the longer I’m stuck here the greater my dislike for pathetic behavior grows.

I don’t know what your life looks like right now. Hopefully, it’s on the right track and loaded down with blessings. Here’s what I’m learning about my own situation — Be good to others. Help them when you can. Encourage those who are struggling or hurting. Ask God how He wants to use you (right where you are). Be ready to stretch your own faith. Look for opportunities to share God’s love.

I believe for certain that my struggle has not been in vain. I’m not the same person I was over a year ago and that’s a good thing.

Thank you, Lord that I never have to wonder if you’re going to get back with me. You are always willing and ready to meet me, if I will just call on you!

While I Wait

Thursday, July 20th, 2017

Have you ever had to wait on something? Of course you have. Everyone’s eaten out in a restaurant or sat in a drive-thru waiting on food or drinks. Waiting can be frustrating! It can push you to lose your cool or to act out. For some, waiting isn’t a big deal. For other’s, it’s stressful.

If you’re waiting on important test results or a job opening…waiting can be overwhelming and painful. It can set you back and rob you of your peace. My own experience with waiting has been a wild ride of emotions. No way would I have believed anyone if they’d told me last year that I’d be stuck in the longest season of waiting of my life this year. I might have smirked a laugh or even shook my head in disbelief. Yet, here I am…. 314 days into a waiting that has beaten me silly and refined me into a whole different person.

Waiting can be useful. It’s not all bad. There can be a lot accomplished in a season of waiting. However, waiting can feel so useless too. Our minds are almost programmed to be productive and that just doesn’t seem to go with waiting. Have you tried sitting still doing nothing for long periods of time? It’s maddening. That’s what waiting can feel like to someone wanting to get out there and DO SOMETHING amazing!

Something I’ve learned in my waiting is that God absolutely has a different time frame than me. His timing is not the same as mine. I’m a “let’s do this” kind of person and God is…well, HE’s GOD – He doesn’t answer to moi! HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS and I have learned to stop pushing and expecting my desires to happen WHEN I WANT and to trust HIM to do even better on His time schedule.

Talk about building up your faith muscles. Yowza!

Also, waiting fine tunes character. Let me tell you, I’ve wanted to go crazy and roll around on the ground out of sheer frustration. Waiting can make you lose your dang mind! Especially if you see others moving forward fast and easy with a blessed life. Waiting can feel like a punch in the nose! Staying close to God through scripture and prayer has shown me some very valuable insight – God is way more concerned with my character than He is with my hubby’s employment. Oh, I believe He understands the importance of jobs & paying bills…but all that’s going to go away someday. There’s no mortgage payment in heaven. My soul needs Jesus, my earthly body needs money to live.

I can wait on God. He has a perfect plan. He will do exactly what I need and do it precisely when I need it most. Trusting Him has been my only choice, believing Him has been my source of survival.

I’m a living testimony that God can and will do abundantly more than we ever deserve.

What are you waiting on right now in your life that’s weighing you down?

How can you stretch your faith muscles and push on in spite of grim possibilities?

Start by thanking God for every. single. thing. in your life. Open your Bible and read His Word every day. Soon you’ll find your heart softening and your worries slipping into a hole that after a while, you’ll kick dirt over and walk away from. Use your time of waiting to build your relationship with Christ and those around you who need you most.

Don’t let waiting make you disillusioned with God’s goodness. He is always working and He is always blessing. Don’t miss it during the wait.