Posts Tagged ‘fear’

Caught Off Guard

Wednesday, July 13th, 2016

grace will

I’m on day 7 of my new life. On Thursday my hubby came home to give me the news that he’d lost his job. I’d be lying if I told you I handled it with joy and grace. My high strung personality just doesn’t respond like that. I cried. Lost my cool. Wished I knew karate.

Life is like a roller-coaster. One minute you’re up and soaring like an eagle and the next you’re plummeting to the ground at speeds that feel like they’re going to kill you dead. Up down Up down. Twist turn. Slam on the brakes.

Losing a job is painful.

While he explained the details of the event, my mind raced around (surely it’s a wife thing) imagining all the stuff I needed to get rid of in my house…so it could sell before the bank foreclosed on it. Then I moved on to our daughter who is “so close” to graduation and all the hard work she’s put in to getting to this precious destination. Next, our youngest who is dreaming of a wedding in the coming year….how would we ever pay for it without a job? And our son, who’s a thousand miles away reeling in his own job loss.

What are we going to do?

I want you to know that GRACE doesn’t come easy in moments like this. Matter of fact, here on day 7 I’m still searching out my feelings and praying for how to move on minus a rotten attitude.

The flesh is weak and the mind is a battlefield.

I’ve felt pretty much every emotion — I’ve gotten angry, imagined being mocked or ridiculed, wished I could wake up from this bad dream and also felt hopeful. I know God doesn’t miss a thing….and this job loss situation matters to Him just as much as it does to me.

He is in control.

future

I have to trust Him and believe He has a plan. Even as I wrestle with medical issues that are still a mystery and the guilt of buying a “new to me” car.

He isn’t caught off guard. He is God, Jehovah-Jireh!

wonders

Lord,
Forgive me for my tiny faith. Show me how to lean on you when I am afraid. Open the door to the place we belong.
Amen

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Posted in Royal Proclaimations | 6 Comments »

I’m Afraid…. of What?

Thursday, August 20th, 2015

One night (this could have been said, many nights) I couldn’t sleep because my mind was racing with “What if’s”; What if he has an accident? What if a car doesn’t see him on his motorcycle? What if she is in the wrong place at the wrong time? What if someone tries to break in? What if I get sick? What if he loses his job? What if we can’t pay our bills?

WHAT IF? (Insert: hand-wringing, tossing & turning, heavy sighing)

As a mom, I think some worrying is probably unavoidable. But, then again, is it?

fear not

After reading a great article yesterday by the very young (Hello, he WASN’T ALIVE when the Space Shuttle blew up?) Frank Powell on 9 Sins Christians Are Okay With, I took a little bop right between the eyes (thanks, Frank) at my own acceptance of most of what was on his list. Fear and apathy being two of my biggest weaknesses.

I’m a Christian. I’ve been a Christian a looooooong time (I was in my first year of college when the Space Shuttle blew up). I’ve deepened in my faith. I’ve read scripture for knowledge and heart power and obedience.

Still, I grapple with fear.

I know better, is what I’m saying. I know it, I can even feel it. It’s wrong and unnecessary. Yet, as soon as the lights go out, or the kid drives away or the weird pains in my body rear up….I resort to feeling afraid.

fear fear

Feeling afraid is like telling God – He isn’t big enough to take care of me or the people I love and fret over. Rolling around in bed while my mind races around with the what if’s, is not from God.

fearing

God doesn’t dole out fear (but Satan sure does). He doesn’t use fear to get us to do what He wants either. Like many have assumed throughout their lives.

Does that mean we shouldn’t fear Him?

Bliss

It means, we shouldn’t mix up a Holy reverence for who God is in our lives with the VBS character we play like He is in our real world living.

God is Holy. God is righteous. God is pure. God is wise beyond all knowledge. God is power. God is merciful. God is everywhere all the time. God is the Great I Am. HE was, HE is and HE will always be.

My knowledge of those attributes of Him propel me to honor Him, to trust Him and to believe Him when He says….

fear trusts

I can rest knowing God has complete control over my life.

His love for me is deeper than any kind of love that I’ll ever know on this earth. His love for the people I care about is even stronger than the love I feel for them.

So, why should I worry or fear?

Right now, I have a sign by my front door and I notice people slowing down as they walk by to read it…

…And it’s time I start living like I believe it!

whole world

What are you afraid of?

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Posted in Royal Proclaimations | 15 Comments »

Book Crazy

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

I’m one of those people who bites off more than she can chew. In everyway. Especially when it comes to books. I see one that interests me and I grab it. Before you know it, I’m stacked up with stuff to read and no time free to actually do the reading. Typical, right? Tell me..you do it too?

I’m stuck in the middle of Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo right now. I started it about two weeks ago and just haven’t had time to sit around and read. It’s a fairly quick read, so I hope to finish it up in the next day or so. I’m loving Todd’s story of his little boy and what happens in a time of grave illness. If you haven’t read it, get it. I wouldn’t call myself a sceptic of death to life experiences but I would say I’m cautious. The story is really heartwarming and reminds me God works in His own way.

Back in July, hubby bought me Laura Ingraham’s book, Of Thee I Zing. I’d been scanning the internet hoping to find a giveaway of it (cause I’m super cheap like that). But the book was HOT and no one was hosting any giveaway’s yet. I’ve been plucking along with it, in little bite-sized portions. I love this lady’s humor. She is so funny and has a keen eye for the tacky that surrounds us. It’s a gift. I think she and I have way too much in common. We both tend to come off as a bit HARSH! 😉

If you haven’t heard, Angie Smith has a new book. I pre-ordered it in hopes of diving right in when it was released from the presses. Well, it’s been a few weeks now and I haven’t even opened it yet. Yesterday, I found out that it was chosen for the newest BLOOM BOOK CLUB read over at (in)courage. I’m not a good candidate for the bookclub follow along gang. I’m definitely inspired to start reading What Women Fear. Also, if you’re looking to join the group or get the book at a great price please click over. (in)courage makes it easy to afford the book through a discounted price and offers scholarships. You can help with that too! Or buy it HERE on sale.

I have no excuse. Reading time is as important as I allow it to be. I hereby promise (to me & now to you) to get serious and finish these three books that I’ve talked about. It’s just a matter of doing it. Right?

What about you? Do you have stacks of books to read that you tell yourself you’re going to soon? If so, what’s on your list?

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