Posts Tagged ‘arguing’

Don’t Whig Out

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015


Just to put your mind at ease…..


EVERY PERSON has the capacity to lose their cool. For some, it’s simmering on a back burner waiting for just the right infraction to cause a big boil over. For others, the stress-o-meter is ticking like a time bomb and one little bitty teeny weeny mistake will cause the neighbors to call the cops.

Don’t act like you’re family doesn’t get crazy. Every single person feels stress. Every family has a cornucopia of emotions, expectations and desires. Mix all that together and you have a recipe for disaster.

I’ve had my own moments of near meltdown already this holiday season. I believe that (and I’m a REALLY HIGH STRUNG CHICK) personalities mingling together can be a set-up for frustration. Maybe someone likes peas and no one else in the group does (not that – that happened in my house) or perhaps, someone took apart the table to do some repairs when you need a functioning table. I don’t know what your vice is, but you do.

Imagine not getting all upset.

Really, imagine it.


I want you to know, I get it that things get hairy. I live in the real world and I have real human people that I love and cherish in my own family. Probably just like you. We also know how to get on each others nerves better than anyone else on the earth. Where else can there be sarcasm, little digs and fun-poking? Family is the safe zone, right?

Here’s my advice:

Don’t participate. Yep, I said it. DO NOT FALL INTO THE WAGON OF PICKING ON ANYONE (every family has that person that gets all the ribbing). DO NOT MAKE SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING (even if you DO NOT like the dressing or gravy). DO NOT ARGUE WITH FOOLS (anyone who blah-blah’s their perfect opinion is being foolish). DO NOT BEHAVE IN A HOSTILE WAY (even if your blood is boiling). DO NOT WEAR YOUR FEELINGS ON YOUR DANGED SHIRT SLEEVE (this one is for me, probably not you). DO NOT LET THE LITTLE THINGS RUIN YOUR TIME WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE (don’t cry over spilled milk, you know?). DO NOT WALLOW IN THE PEN WITH PIGS (when someone pushes, walk away you don’t need to get dirty too). DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE LIKE A JERK (you’re going to feel jerky, suppress it. Smash it down). DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOU ARE A VICTIM (this is me again, sorry). DO NOT BE A PERSON THAT LOOKS FOR TROUBLE (borrowing problems seems to be easier when family is all crammed together). DO NOT GANG UP ON ANYONE OR JOIN RANKS WITH ANY SIDE OF ANY ISSUE (maybe certain topics should be off limits?). DO NOT MISS THE CHANCE TO ENJOY THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!!!

I don’t know how to help you keep the cops away from your Thanksgiving holiday. All I can do is suggest you take care of yourself. If family gets you too worked up, limit your time together. Spend a little time loving yourself; if you are a runner…take a jog. If you are an extra tense person, schedule a massage or even better spend some time with a special family member giving neck rubs and talking. Don’t let the pressure get so bad that you boil over and whig out.


Thank God for another year together. Tell the people you love that you’re thankful for them. Being thankful and showing it always helps me focus on the good in others and myself. And if you burn the rolls…fahhhgetaboutit!

family family


Wednesday, September 4th, 2013

This post goes out to the kid whose never been told NO! You're a real pain. Your attitude stinks and your indignant behavior is very unbecoming. You make it very hard for anyone to love you. I find myself struggling to be the kind of person Christ wants me to be when I'm around you. Your incessant arguing wears me down and your hateful words sting me even when I know that you're ignorant to the rules of proper behavior. You are a joykill!

I blame those who have never told you NO!

Maybe it was your parents. Or perhaps a grandparent. Either way, they've done you a huge disservice. Your behavior will only bring you more trouble and misery. If only you could see that now. Possibly you recognize it in the response you get from others when you're wound up with PROVING YOUR POINT. It takes the joy out of every conversation when you constantly focus on being a "know it all". If you were capable of having a normal conversation, that is. Mostly you just fuss and fight to get your way.

I feel sorry for you.

It's kids like you that I pray….."God, let this one choose the military!". The world doesn't revolve around you. Your demanding full attention in every situation will cease to exist in a world with ranking officers shaping your very existence. The days of holding up the group for your outlandish shenanigans ends when you fall into line beside fellow soldiers. There, you will have the chance to learn discipline and maybe even honor. Which seems to be a key ingredient missing in the person you are. When you honor something or someone, you respect it and nurture it….no matter what.

You need to learn honor.

So, kid whose never been told NO. Hear me out. You are going to face a multitude of situations in life that you aren't going to agree with. Learn now that it takes personal restraint to deal with them. Figure out how to "solve your problem" in a way that doesn't involve railroading over the person you are dealing with. Making good choices is an art. Get artistic and stop ruining life for everyone around you because you don't win. You're miserable and you're making everyone you meet feel the same way.

P.S. Learn that NO means no!

31 Days — Positive Attitude (Day 19)

Friday, October 19th, 2012


How's your online attitude?  Is it testy sometimes?  Or are you nice as pie while you navigate the internet world?

I got into it with someone on Facebook today.  I didn't mean to do it, but I didn't try very hard not to either.  A friend posted a thread asking for comments on reasons WHY people were choosing to vote for Romney.  She asked everyone to play nice and of course "someone" posted a pile of malarky bashing Gov. Romney.

Not cool!

So, instead of walking away and ignoring it (hint: only do that for serious medical issues, right?)….I commented.  My mistake!  The comment I posted was something along the line of, "It frustrates me to see so many misinformed Americans".  That was all it took to fire up the arguing!  Her doing most of the arguing, me standing up to her.  Still…

Why didn't I just walk away?

Long story short, I sparred with someone who wasn't interested in doing anything but causing a ruckus.  I let my guard down and played along.  Totally wrong of me.  I still disagree with her but that's not going to change a single thing.  She has her mind made up (as do many other Americans) and my goal wasn't to change her mind anyway.  I just can't sit quiet when someone lies about another person.  It's disturbing!

The reality is that I don't have to fight with a stranger on Facebook.  I can't control the feelings of other people.  I can, however, control my own feelings.  It's way more important how I represent Christ with my words and actions than to try to correct someone I "feel" is wrong.  That's not my job!  It's God's!

Sorry, Lord.

My advice to you today is STAY COOL when your jets get all fired up over politics.  No matter who you support, it's not worth it to wrestle back-n-forth with anybody on any forum.  It won't make you feel any better.  I speak from experience.  

Zip your lip, friends.  If you want to have any influence over anyone else….speak in love not frustration.  I'd much rather lead someone else to Jesus than to vote for my political candidate.  Wouldn't you?

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."  Prov 15:1a