Posts Tagged ‘teens’

You Think You’re Anxious?

Wednesday, August 9th, 2017

It’s back to school time and my calendar is already filling up with sub days. This morning I was thinking about all the sweet punkin’s heading back to routines, classrooms, early bedtimes, homework and even all the teen drivers. That’s what I do, I’m a mom and I mom up every situation. Even though all my darlin’s are out living big people life, the body has a hard time forgetting to be mom-like.

If I could wave a sign outside in my yard to all the cars going by with kids heading to school – I’d wish I could tell you a few very important things about the stress your kids experience after you peel out from the drop-off line. I know, I know…they’re kids. What in the heck kind of stress are they feeling? Well, that depends on the kid.

Just about every single kid experiences school anxiety. Trust me, it’s scary walking into school after being home and having the freedom to be themselves all summer long. Especially for the teen & pre-teen group. The pressure on them is enormous! They are in this constant battle with themselves and the world. Everywhere they look, expectations are staring them in the face. The amount of kids without cellphones right now is pretty minimal. So, imagine everything they see just on their phones all day and night.

If you didn’t know it, the world is pushy. The most easily influenced people of all society right now are teenagers. They are searching! They look for acceptance, they want to fit in and they are fighting their toughest battle with their crazy adolescent puberty infested bodies! Everything is racing at them at mock speed and then we send them off to school.

They are anxious and they aren’t always telling you that either.

The pressure to look a certain way, to have a particular type of clothing….to be from an important family, that stuff is STILL GOING ON IN SCHOOL! Just like when you were there! I swear it! I wouldn’t lie to you. Only now, it is magnified to a level you cannot even imagine!

Your kid is growing up in a society where a teen girl can sell out of a lip plumping product on Home Shopping Network in record time just because of the family she was born into. They see how the world swoons over the successes of young kids like Kylie and they long to be loved like that. I read a head-line yesterday of the lip plumper reality starlette admitting how guilty she feels that she doesn’t drive her Lamborghini enough.

Your kids wants to borrow your car. Pressure. [feel the feels MOM]

Now don’t get me wrong. Kids have to do a particular amount of struggling to get to the kind of person they eventually need to be. Do not run in and rescue your kids like the helicopter mom I was. Step back, think about your next move but whatever it is MAKE SURE YOU ARE A SAFE PLACE FOR YOUR KIDS!!!

My mom days are much different these days. I sit around wishing one would call or text me (they don’t!). I don’t have to blow my cash on school clothes or fight with some outlandish little skinny twerp in the middle of TJ MAXX over an outfit. I’m free. Man, I miss them! 😉

Just remember to love on and pray for your kid. Pay attention to the signs of worry or anxiety. Spend some time talking with them and really LISTEN. Ask them how you can help when things are getting too much for them. Don’t barge in, but ask what they need from you most. The truth is, they are scared. They’re afraid people won’t like them, they have just enough awkwardness to them to feel like they are freaks. You play a huge role in escorting them on into the real world.

They need you. They may not act like it, but they do. And they want you to place boundaries on them. DO IT! (You can thank me later!)

Oh and when I flip my sign over as you drive by….it will say —>

These are the hardest days of your ever-lovin’ life!

4 Sure Ways To Make Your Kids Resent You

Friday, December 7th, 2012

I've had my share of rotten mom moments.  I've been a real dud and I've rocked it like a rockstar!  Over the last 22 years, I've picked up on some real dangers in parenting.  It's often said that kids are pretty pliable and I agree.  But why risk sabotaging your relationship with them just because of some thoughtless behaviors or words?  I love my kids and I bet you do too….so, I've come up with some sure-fire ways that wreck it all and make your kids resent you.  

Here's what NOT TO DO.

CRITICIZE.  It's so easy to do and not only do we criticize our kids but we take it a step further and pick on their friends, friends parents and even strangers.  Bet you didn't know….your kids dislike your negative vibe!  Don't be a jerk.  Show lovingkindness and for what it's worth speak words of affirmation.  THEY ARE LISTENING!!

BE LAZY.  I'm not referring to leaving the dishes piled in the kitchen sink, although….kids do feel safe when they know parents care about house & life responsibilities.  Teach them to help out with chores.  I mean, don't throw out empty threats.  Follow through with every teachable moment.  Nothing says my parents are push-overs more than lazy parenting.  Get up and discipline, every single time there is a need for guidance.

GIVE THEM ALL POWER.  I see this all day long.  Kids behaving any old way they please.  No fear of anyone (adults, that is) and certainly not being held accountable for poor behavior.  It's so sad.  On the news tonight, a teen girl was killed in a nearby town because she was running with the wrong crowd.  Parents owe it to their kids to boss them around and SAY NO!!  Teach your kids to respect others!

MOCK GOD.  One of the biggest indicators of trouble (that I've experienced with teens) is a complete lack of spiritual guidance.  It's often a big joke to love God and especially to want to follow Him in a Biblical lifestyle.  Teaching kids to trust Him and obey Him is essential but even better than that is HAVING A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST YOURSELF!!  Nothing influences a kid more than to have a parent who genuinely loves God and shows it in their everyday life.

I'm a mom who's looking at 11 more days of high school for the baby of my family.  I don't get anymore second chances.  The foundation has been set and the product is nearing the end of the assembly line.  I'm grateful that I started the whole deal out with a determination to honor God with my parenting.  While I haven't done a perfect job….I'm happy to say that in spite of me, God has blessed me with great young adult kids.  Do I have regrets?  Oh you bet!  I see some of my mistakes as growing opportunities, not just for me…but for each of them too.  My prayer is that they would know without a shadow of a doubt, that my love for them is solid & neverending!

So, tell me….what are some ways that you think kids feel resentment?