I've had my share of rotten mom moments. I've been a real dud and I've rocked it like a rockstar! Over the last 22 years, I've picked up on some real dangers in parenting. It's often said that kids are pretty pliable and I agree. But why risk sabotaging your relationship with them just because of some thoughtless behaviors or words? I love my kids and I bet you do too….so, I've come up with some sure-fire ways that wreck it all and make your kids resent you.
Here's what NOT TO DO.
CRITICIZE. It's so easy to do and not only do we criticize our kids but we take it a step further and pick on their friends, friends parents and even strangers. Bet you didn't know….your kids dislike your negative vibe! Don't be a jerk. Show lovingkindness and for what it's worth speak words of affirmation. THEY ARE LISTENING!!
BE LAZY. I'm not referring to leaving the dishes piled in the kitchen sink, although….kids do feel safe when they know parents care about house & life responsibilities. Teach them to help out with chores. I mean, don't throw out empty threats. Follow through with every teachable moment. Nothing says my parents are push-overs more than lazy parenting. Get up and discipline, every single time there is a need for guidance.
GIVE THEM ALL POWER. I see this all day long. Kids behaving any old way they please. No fear of anyone (adults, that is) and certainly not being held accountable for poor behavior. It's so sad. On the news tonight, a teen girl was killed in a nearby town because she was running with the wrong crowd. Parents owe it to their kids to boss them around and SAY NO!! Teach your kids to respect others!
MOCK GOD. One of the biggest indicators of trouble (that I've experienced with teens) is a complete lack of spiritual guidance. It's often a big joke to love God and especially to want to follow Him in a Biblical lifestyle. Teaching kids to trust Him and obey Him is essential but even better than that is HAVING A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST YOURSELF!! Nothing influences a kid more than to have a parent who genuinely loves God and shows it in their everyday life.
I'm a mom who's looking at 11 more days of high school for the baby of my family. I don't get anymore second chances. The foundation has been set and the product is nearing the end of the assembly line. I'm grateful that I started the whole deal out with a determination to honor God with my parenting. While I haven't done a perfect job….I'm happy to say that in spite of me, God has blessed me with great young adult kids. Do I have regrets? Oh you bet! I see some of my mistakes as growing opportunities, not just for me…but for each of them too. My prayer is that they would know without a shadow of a doubt, that my love for them is solid & neverending!
So, tell me….what are some ways that you think kids feel resentment?