Victim Mentality

I’ve thought a lot about myself this year. I realize this doesn’t sound very nice and that’s why I’m confessing it with full abandon. I have zeroed in on ME, MYSELF and I — I’ve thought about other’s too. Not just me. But, for the most part….I’ve radared in on myself and all my problems. Enough so, that I’m deeply ashamed of how pathetic I lived in 2018.

Don’t get me wrong, things were bad.

My life was one wonky son-of-a-gun on the edge of tumbling straight into the hole of nowhere. Oh dang! Here I go again focusing on me and my troubles.
Let me start over.

I’ve been a mixed bag of feeling sorry for myself & doubting my life would ever make sense again. The strangest part of all that misery is that I’m not the only sucker to have problems. The world is full of hurting people, many hurting much deeper than I’ve ever hurt. Yet, I compounded my pain by complaining and lamenting about it to whomever would sit still long enough to listen.

This morning, I took a bite out of the best advice I could’ve received for the upcoming new year — STOP COMPLAINING! God has given me a great life, not a perfect one but a fantastic & blessed life. One that I can be proud of and one that is rich in ways that many never know. I am loved, I am safe and I am living proof that God is good and blesses the most undeserving of all.

Why have I wasted so many dumb days wallowing in self-pity?

2019 offers a fresh start in many ways, but for me I recognize the best NEW THING I can do for myself and those around me is to knock off the whining and ridiculous cloud of doom overhead. It’s not only a gift to others but a gift to myself.

Self-pity causes…

Depression
Lack of faith
Jaded outlook
Bitterness
Frown lines –> Y’ALL!
Sour attitude
Misery
Jerky behavior
U N H A P P I N E S S
Doom & gloom
Exhaustion
Mean spirit
Negative thinking
Black heart
Jealousy
Dissatisfaction
Doubt
Sadness

And more!

Now that I’ve admitted my problem, it’s time to do something about it. I’m signing a contract with myself to make 2019 a year with as little complaining as possible. YOU’RE ALL WELCOME!! Whenever I feel inclined to gripe and fuss about whatever it is in my life that bothers me or worries me — I commit to pray about it instead of unleashing my unwanted misery onto the world around me.

Looking back at how much I smothered the people I love most with my complaining, I OWE EVERY ONE OF YOU AN APOLOGY! And a THANK YOU! Because the truth of it is that I needed to be heard and many of you listened even when you knew in your heart I needed to just shut up. Thank you for encouraging me when I was at my lowest and for believing that what felt like impending doom would one day end.

It was hard. Yet, here I am.

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