Desperate Decisions

Desperation can set us up for fuzzy thinking.  I know this to be true because I've rationalized some crazy things in my head that certainly DID NOT make good sense after the fact.  Perhaps you know what I mean.

When I moved to my new house in December, I had big plans of staying home and being happy forever & ever.  Only, I haven't been exactly happy.  I've been lonely, I've been stuck (thank you winter from H E double hockey sticks), I've felt isolated, I've lost my confidence, I've never gone so long without make-up and I've placed an unnecessary amount of PLEASE ME with social interaction pressure on my hubby.

He pretends it doesn't bother him.

I thought I'd play it smart back in December and apply online to substitute teach at the schools nearby.  I applied on December 31st to be exact.  The process was extensive and took a good hour out of my day to complete.  I've been waiting to hear back all this time.  No news.  After talking to my hubby about the strange process, I decided to call and track down the person responsible for hiring subs and see what the hold up was.  I found her.  She goes into this huge deal about getting SO MANY APPLICATIONS that she just has to weed through them to FIND QUALIFIED applicants.  To which I replied — "I know I'm qualified for the job.  Now, tell me….how do I get approved to sub at your schools?".  She told me that my references had not filled out my reference forms and that she would re-send them and then look over my application and call me for an interview.

REALLY?  Wow.  I couldn't help but feel this process was a drag on series of hoops and that obviously……they DO NOT NEED SUBS bad enough.  So I asked her just that.  I know how hard it is to find subs.  Most schools have difficulty finding qualified and good subs that they can rely on.  I know this because I've been used to death in the past simply because I could do what they needed me to do and everyone requested me.  I asked her about any open positions and she told me of several.  I thanked her and hung up.

Five minutes……maybe, the high school principal called me with a JOB OFFER!!!

I'm not going to go into details but I do want to ask for your prayers.  I don't want to take the WRONG JOB for the WRONG REASONS.  I feel working would help me get out of my funk but I don't want to do a job that I hate all because of my loneliness.  I love making my own money and I can't even describe the happy I feel just thinking of making some friends.  But, I don't want to struggle at a job that is out of my comfort zone.

So, pray for me.  Pray that I would be smart and think through the pros and cons of the particular job I am interviewing for AT 12:40 TODAY!!!  I don't need to work but I think I'd like to get my foot in the door.

Oh…and guess who sent me an interview email a few hours later?

Yes, the sub list lady!!!   šŸ˜‰

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