When my mother passed away the summer of 2013 I had no idea what it would mean to me to have so many visitors come by and tell me what she meant to them. I was in a bit of turmoil inside and I wasn’t sure how to handle any of the arrangements for this woman who loved and lived so hard. She was my mother but she was also a lot of other things to many people while she was alive. I worried I couldn’t honor her properly with the state of my mind.
Do you know why we have funerals? We have funerals to publicly acknowledge the reality of the death of our loved one and to give testimony to that person’s life. It’s also the launching pad for our mourning which catapults us into a sort of grief reconciliation. All fancy words that equal healing.
Death leaves us reeling for understanding though. Even believers who know the promised truth of eternity with those who share their faith in Christ experience the painful ache of losing a loved one. Which brings me to mourning together.
When my husband’s Papaw passed away 26 years ago, people and cars were lined up as if a famous celebrity had died. The church was packed! He was beloved in our small town. His life was valued by many, not just us. We were blown away by the love and support shown to us in honor of our Papaw. The strength we gained through those who joined us to mourn his death was incredible. We also felt a physical love that cannot be described.
We need the support of friends and family. We cannot grieve properly without it. In the book of Job, Job’s friends heard about all the tragedies happening in his life and immediately set out to support him. They traveled from their prospective homes and the story says when they were getting close they saw him and he didn’t even look like himself. His grief, his pain was so distressing that they also stopped and broke down as well.
The story goes on that these friends sat with him for seven days and seven nights….in silent agony. Mourning.
I’ve thought so many times that I was all alone in my pain over my husband’s job loss. Truth is, no one wants to listen to the depressing reality of someone else’s troubles. It’s a drag to be around someone hurting like that. It’s easier to just avoid them.
Mourning doesn’t just happen in death. This world is full of hurting people with real life problems. Health issues, depression, family struggles, financial ruin, broken hearts, homelessness, job loss, loneliness and more. Real problems that break the heart and isolate the hurting from the love and support of others.
This is why we must mourn with those around us. Mourning alongside someone assures them that they’re not alone in their struggle. Like Job’s friends, mourning with someone might be in the form of just quietly sitting nearby. Some mourning might be done listening to them talk it out. Or even physical, you may have to literally hold someone while they cannot hold their own self upright. God knows how to use each of us if we are willing to be used.
I don’t know who in your life needs you but I bet you do. Don’t miss the chance to love and support someone who is mourning — your help may be all they receive.
