I'm cursed. At least that's how it feels sometimes. I have this problem. Okay, I have many problems but this one particular problem is a real thorn in my side. I've tried and tried to change it…..no such luck. I just live with it and sadly so does everyone who has to be around me. Sorry, y'all!
I'm too transparent! Whatever I'm feeling…..everyone around me, knows it. I can't hide how I'm feeling. Which can be a little awkward in certain circumstances. My kids know when something is going down….to split. For instance, in a store. If someone is acting inappropriate (like a sales clerk or a screaming child)….it's possible I'll give them a look that says, "GET IT TOGETHER!". Sometimes, I may even say something like, "Let's get outta here before I say something I'll regret!".
I'm not proud of this problem. That's why I call it a curse. Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just ignore crazy people and their issues? I'm sick! Sick in the people police department. It's not my business to make people do what's right. Still, I fret and fume over it when they act nutty.
I don't know where this even comes from other than to conclude that I'm bordering on the edge of prideful and holier than thou. My heart is janked up. My own actions embarrass me and then I realize that I'm no different than anyone else when it comes to acting up. I blunder too.
So, I pray that God would intervene in my brain & heart when I'm tempted to lovingly correct someone or give them a piece of my mind. I don't want to be that person who wounds with her words or makes others feel like junk just because they're not doing what I think they should be doing.
It's not my job! It's God who corrects and it's God who expects the best out of His people. My job is to be His hands & feet and to love with a pure heart. A heart that's transparent and loving.
What about you? What's God asking you to admit today that you need to change?
