Posts Tagged ‘mistreatment’

I Dare Ya

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

I love how the Holy Spirit works in my life.  If ever there were a person that needed full-time direction….it would be me.  I have the sweet ability to bark out a challenge and then the Lord in His infinite wisdom PUTS ME TO THE TEST!  Oh yea He does!

Now don't get me wrong….I don't believe that He's playing around with me and treating my life like a puppet show.  I just think He KNOWS me and wants what's best for me and will use my own TALK to direct my WALK!

He's a master gardener, remember?

Yesterday, I posted this on Facebook and little did I know that later in the day…I would face the ultimate challenge.

Take your opportunity today: Build someone else up! Don't bother with false flattery! Really find something good to encourage someone.

It could change their life…


Everything was going along swimmingly until I had to run my youngest to the dentist and in walked what my heart would call an enemy.  A "friend" from the past who played a pivotal role in what has ultimately become my new life.  My NO LONGER IN THE MINISTRY life.  It stung my heart as soon as I saw her standing behind me!   [Dang you satan!  

I felt sick and nervous.  I wanted with every part of my body to be invisible.  Then my wicked heart went directly to thinking sarcastic thoughts (I hate my flesh sometimes).  I tried to be cold and for a minute there, I really was.  We had to sit in the waiting room for about 5-10 minutes and honestly, if there hadn't been another innocent lady sitting there….I felt brave enough to tell her how she had wounded me.  (Seriously, I was willing to go there!!  Crazy)

The door finally opened and they called her back, which brought me total relief or so I thought.  That's when the HOLY SPIRIT started His work on my dirty black heart.  I wrestled in my head my reasons for feeling so angry with her and everytime the Lord said, "Forgive her!".  I raked it over again in my heart and felt my skin heat up red with hurt, fear and embarrassment!  I wanted to tell her—YOU HURT ME!!  I trusted you!  Again, the Holy Spirit would have none of it.  I have to be clear here–I'm not saying my pain was dismissed by God, He never made me feel like that.  It was simply a call for me to show mercy and love ESPECIALLY WHEN I DIDN'T WANT TO!

Ultimate challenge.  To say the least.

I sat in the waiting room with an elderly lady for about 20 minutes while my heart received a gentle makeover.  She never knew the internal battle I was wrangling and when her chipper husband walked out—we had a brief conversation that set me back on a path of kindness.  {Thanks strangers}  I sat there alone and the door opened up–out came the one who caused my heart to stumble.

All I can say is that mercy flowed from my mouth and I physically felt my hard heart soften.  I suddenly felt deep sadness for her and I couldn't stop myself from treating her with kindness.  Words just popped out, nice ones.  I knew that she was hurting and it broke my heart.  I wish I could say I'm better than that.  But how can I throw out a challenge to love other's when I walk around in my own wicked snarky flesh?

I have to be real.  I struggle.  I fall short.  I stink at loving people.  I'm growing in Christ.  He's working in my life and He wants to see me be the best me.  So, don't let me off the hook.  If you see or hear me "preaching" about being Holy and not living it–call me out!  I need it and deserve it.

I dare ya!!