Are you one of those women who feels like your husband only thinks of ONE THING? After being married for 23+ years…I'm finally picking up on what makes my hubby tick. His needs are different than mine. Sometimes they are intimate needs and other times not. The challenge as a wife is to lock in to what pleases him and helps him be the best man he can be. It's not always what I (or you) think it is that he desires.
For instance…
Did you know that the number one need your husband has is to be respected? Now that may sound pretty simple but the honest truth is that on a day-in/day-out basis you and I miss the mark bigtime on respect. Never has there been a time so confusing in leadership roles in families. Women are taking over. They run the house, the family and pretty much the husbands too. I realize how easy it is to just do it when it comes to taking care of the needs of a family. I tend to be aggressive in this area myself. However, it's very important for me to rely on my husband's leadership in our family. One of the best ways to do that is to openly allow him to lead. That doesn't mean I wait on him to take care of all the family needs. It means that I acknowledge him and the role God has given him in our family. I let him know I trust his decisions and I don't rule over him when he is trying his very best to provide for our family. I've learned the hard way that running rough-shot over my hubby is demeaning to him and shows a weakness in my own personality. I don't want him to feel less than because of my own bossyness. So, I make it a priority to show him the respect he deserves.
Another need is the ability to provide well for his family. Men are competitive by nature. They crave winning! Knowing that because of them their family is well-cared for is high on the list of successes. Guys love being needed and they feel good when they can give their family the best. I can see the joy in my husband's eyes & smile when any of us say how much we love our house/cars/clothes/food/stuff/him. It's clear that he loves us very much and that he works very hard to give us not only what we need but what we love too. I never miss an opportunity to tell him what a great provider he is!
Husbands have needs outside of respect and recognition for their hard work. They are visual monsters who crave the love of their wives. It's no wonder our world is so bombarded with sexy images, porn addictions and affairs. Men are extremely physical. They need touch, they love beauty and they are starving for all of that from the women who possess their heart. It's an honor to be the wife of a man who loves me (you) completely and it's a shame when we ignore the needs of our hubby's over our own. I bet if you asked….your hubby would say that HE DOES THINK OF YOU in that way throughout his day. So, why do we withhold that one thing that no one else can give him? It's time for us to prioritize that personal love that can only come from us. I'm getting better at being "all that and a pack of crackers too" to my man.
PS — With no strings attached!
I realize how awkward this subject can be for so many. It's hard to talk about personal issues. I'm convinced that marriages need all the help they can get and it starts with women. As I watch my own young adult kids sort through life….and get closer to their own marriages, I'm challenged to show them what a healthy relationship looks like. I want to see them love their chosen spouse to the fullest. The best way I can do that is to love their dad and to be willing to meet his needs….no matter what they might be.
Does your husband know how much you respect him? Does he know how grateful you are for the hard work he does to provide for your family? Are you loving him the way only you can? Now's your chance…