Queenies Little Kingdom

I went to bed thinking about my mother last night.  Some days are just like that.  Death from our earthly bodies feels so permanent but the truth is that it's only the beginning for the believer in Christ.  Even knowing my mother is in heaven I still miss her and wish to speak with her…just one more time.

I woke up this morning to a text from a friend that another friend had passed away during the night.  My heart squeezed with ache for the family of this sweet lady.  She was married to one of my favorite co-workers who just happens to be one of (all 3) my children's favorite teacher.  The news felt like a heavy weight thrown into my chest.  By the time I made it to school the entire staff was feeling the same horrible feeling.

How do you say sorry and it feel adequate enough for the circumstance?

I'm sad, torn apart for the entire family.  I know they love Jesus and they trust Him with every detail but their hearts must be shattered.  My friend lost his wife — the mother of his 4 beautiful daughters.  My neighbor lost her sweet sister.  A whole family is changed forever.

Death….your sting we feel.  But God….we hold tight to your promise of eternity and we long to see you there.

Perhaps you're like me in that you buzz through your day and hurry along conquering this & that.  I feel it's a perfect time to remind you (and me) stop and share your love and heart with those you care for.  Tell the people you know need to hear that you love them and that they are important to you.

Tomorrow may be too late…

Father,

Thank you for the life of Michelle.  Her lovingkindness will always be how I remember her.  Wrap your arms around her family, bless them….hold them and blanket them with your love & peace as they face a future very different from what they had planned.  Your ways are not our ways but WE TRUST YOU!  Help us trust you more.

Amen

So much of what I read on social media is conflicting.

Sexy selfies.

Angry ex lash outs.

Sad admittances.

Dirty jokes or thoughts.

Scripture verses from folks who openly live like hell.

Relationship woes.

Brags of awesomeness.

Brokenness.

Joy filled experiences.

What's for dinner.

Bored or Tired or Happy or Sad or Lonely or Ticked.

Good news.  Bad news. 

The thoughts and posts are endless.  Over the weekend, I had the heaviest heart because of reading about the lives of my friends on Facebook.  Some of them are hurting so badly and the only place they have to unload it is on their Facebook or Twitter feeds.

I have probably shared more than was necessary myself on an occasion or two.  For the most part, I try very hard to be kind and uplifting while at the same time honest.  I've made some dumb mistakes along the way and for that I am reminded…..God's grace is sufficient for me.

How can I be a better friend to those I see hurting on social media?  How can I set a positive example for them?  Is my life so out of touch that I can't relate in many of the instances?  Does my feeling burdened for them say more about me than it does them?  Heck, I don't know.  All I do know is that if used right social media can really open your eyes and heart to the people hurting and needing of prayer and love.

Instead of shaking my head when I read something racy or saucy — I'm making an extra effort to love and pray for them.  You can do the same!

Our world of influence doesn't have to stop with just our families.

The world is full of all sorts of people. Not all of them are good or have righteous intentions. Sometimes those people have children and fill our world with more of the kind of people they are. Other times, goodness comes from brokenness.

There really can be….beauty from ashes.

For the last week, I've been immersed in the world of author Jeannette Walls as she tells the story of her growing up years in The Glass Castle. The book is so well written and her story is absolutely mind blowing! Everytime I picked it up to read, I felt as though I were driving past a horrible accident on the highway that I just couldn't stop looking at.

Her story wasn't one of physical abuse or even sexual assault it was full on neglect. I picked up very quickly that mental illness was a major role player in her mother's behavior. Never in the book does she confirm or deny that possibility but the rollercoaster of choices and behaviors make it pretty clear this lady was not in her right mind. While she wasn't a cruel mother…she was so clearly checked out and wrapped up within her own happiness and self that mental illness is the only way to describe the horror that she allowed her children to endure.

Mother: a person who dies to self. One who goes without so her children can have. A nurturer. Compassionate and caring to the needs of her babies.

Jeannette had an especially close relationship with her father. He was smart and manipulative but his real love was alcohol. Even if it cost he and his family everything which it did, he drank. It never bothered him that his children didn't have food, clothes or a roof over their heads…his desire for alcohol was his main concern. A man who doesn't work and takes money that isn't his (he literally stole from his own kids) to me isn't really a man. He's a coward and a thief! He, along with his mentally disturbed wife had 4 kids. Both of them were intelligent but checked out, both had potential but were never moved enough to act on it (SELF mattered way too much to both of them) both of them were blessed with loving and precious kids but because of the pathetic people they were….their story is really one of survival.

I admit I felt rather angry during much of the book. As a mother, it isn't that hard to love your kids. These people were so consumed with their own wants and needs that they literally allowed their kids to go hungry and to live in squalor every day of their lives. I found myself wondering why someone didn't take them out of their hell. How in the world did they not get taken away? Or sexually abused? Or murdered? Danger was everywhere all around them as they RAISED THEMSELVES and tried to be the parents to the sorry parents that they called their own.

The story does have a happy ending and it's a great reminder to us all that life isn't always a bowl of cherries. Families struggle, some people are walking wounded and everyone is fighting some sort of battle. If you haven't read The Glass Castle…do it. It's a story of survival of the most pathetic kind, neglect.

HUG YOUR KIDS! FEED YOUR KIDS! LOVE YOUR KIDS!