Queenies Little Kingdom

Buhbye, Texas!  We finally made it home around 2:30am this morning.  After 36 days (my hubby) has finally crawled between his own sheets and is still there sleeping off one of the longest months of his life.  He crammed more work into those 36 days than he ever imagined he could've accomplished.

There's still so much to do.

However, the ranch is booming with activity and while it might look messy to some…..that dude is coming along nicely!

I wish you could see all that is beyond this door.  The beauty is almost too much to take in.  I love every little detail within its walls.  Opening day will be a glorious day for many involved in this labor of love project.

With a big dream like this….comes a lot of IT magic.  This is just a sample of what my hubby has been doing with all his time in Texas.

All this makes perfect sense, right?  Just plug something in and viola, internet!  Okay, not realistic!

If you're like me, when you see these photos you think……it all looks like a mess of mayhem!  What goes to what?  Nothing makes sense!  But to the IT genius, it is his wonderland.

Just before we left the ranch….we met this local resident.  Lucky for me, we did not run into him or any of his snake bros while fishing in the hot Texas heat.

Or while out here late at night….cruising for trouble.

What?  You don't go out boating in the late hours of the night?  Whatever!

Not everyone can say they sunbathe out on the deck surrounded by bullet casings and whatnot.  Redneck living at its finest.

Every inch of this place…..is fun!

So, for the next 7 days I'm going to try to make life as smooth as possible for my hubby.  He's headed to Michigan on Friday and from there flying right back to Texas again for another long week of meetings and work.  I'll be staying behind and doing what I can to pass the time while he's away.

For now…..

It is so good to be home TOGETHER in Indiana!

Women have a delicate sense of SELF.  Recently, I met a new female friend.  She was much younger than me and her body proved it loud and clear.  She was wearing a tank top and nothing was sagging (if you know what I mean).  I tried not to let it affect me but after she left, I had an instant "feel bad about myself" moment.  Afterall, stuff sags on me these days.  I'm not in my 20's, 30's….and soon I'll be leaving my 40's too!  My body is "older" and well-worn.  In places, it looks pretty good…in others, it is beat up (Hey, you try nursing 3 big fat babies as long as I did).

I wish I could say I didn't let it bother me, but I did.  Perhaps the long weeks of being away from my hubby twisted something up inside my head.  I was feeling vulnerable!  I understand the stress for women whose husband's work with gorgeous women EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I realize how frustrating this must be and how wicked the mind can get when thoughts of –> "Does he think she's prettier than me?" come along.  These little mind tricks can wreck the way you feel about yourself which in turn, makes you insecure in all that you do (ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR HUSBAND).  Beth Moore calls girls who dress provocatively or slinky, MEAN GIRLS!  What she means by that is every woman knows when men are oggling at them…..and any woman worth her salt understands, no one ever wants to steal the glances of another man away from the wives who love them.  It's mean!

Now, I don't believe that my new friend was trying to steal my hubby's glances.  At least, not on purpose.  But perhaps, she hasn't reached an age where her looks aren't the first thing one notices upon meeting her or seeing her on the street.  When that day comes….and ladies, it comes along.  We begin to take note of all that's WRONG with our bodies!  Insecurities sneak in and threaten to destroy us of peace and satisfaction for what God has so lovingly given to us.  Face it, we get discontent and we beat ourselves up.  We think about every Frappe we order and wince at any tasty late night snack we indulge in.  Our whole lives become this sort of  R E G R E T  fest! 

There isn't a single woman on this earth who doesn't size up another lady in some way or another.  If you deny doing it…..you're lying to yourself and me.  It's buried inside all of us.  I think it's one of satan's sneakiest ways of discouragement among women.  We compare what we have against those around us.  We look at them, see something appealing that we admire and start to harp on it inside our heads and before you know it….we are obsessed with what we don't have.

I've thought about my 'feeling bad about myself' moment a hundred times since that encounter and not until today did it hit me…..I AM UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL in my own way.  Even with the assurance of my husband that my beauty was enough for him, I allowed satan to rob me of WHO I AM to the world around me.  I let him steal what he has no right to take! 

I am me and when I look in the mirror, I see….

…….a woman who is loved in every way by her husband.  There's not a flaw (on me) that he doesn't find a way to make it seem beautiful.  So, when I see the me he loves…..I love me too!

……the mother that I am to my son.  The one who looks to me to set the example of what to accept in a wife for himself.  I see that he needs a healthy mom (not just a beautiful mom) and that the way I love him will forever impact not only his life, but the life of his wife and his children.  That's a beautiful reflection to imagine.

….the faces of my beautiful girls and I'm reminded that God thought so much of me, that he made two more just like me.  Every word I speak and every action I make, holds power over both of them.  For them, I'm the ultimate woman.  No one can ever be me to them but me.  They will love husband's and children someday because of what I shared of me in each of their lives.  I am blown away by God's graciousness.

…the friend who is safe to share what hurts or celebrate what brings joy with people who love unconditionally.  Never do any of my friends make me feel like I'm anything but awesome.  If that's how they see me, then I do too!

…a lady who isn't afraid to go fishing in the hot Texas heat with her [tired worked all day] hubby.  When someone wants to spend time with you…..always be willing to go.  Every moment together is special.

…the niece of many who passed along more than just similar features.  My family has shared love, quick wit, fierce determination and perhaps a little fireball temperament.  Thanks y'all!  I love being like all OF YOU!

…the person who raised three great kids that are now young adults and functioning not only as great American citizens but as believer's in Jesus Christ.

So, when I'm tempted to compare myself to another prettier or younger than me lady…..I pray God would wipe those thoughts right out and fill me with the truth.  Because, what I see in the mirror isn't all of who I am.

I'm way better than that….

I met her the day I moved into the neighborhood where I would spend the most of my time raising my kids.  She was a single mom and lived right next door.  Her kids and mine were close in ages.  They all quickly formed friendships that were more like brothers & sisters.  I knew the minute that she walked away that God had a reason for me to be placed next door to her.

She was a young widowed mother to three amazing kids and they all needed direction.

I prayed hard for the strength to be the kind of friend and neighbor they would need.  I tried to step in when she was too fragile to keep up; finances, working multiple jobs, going back to school, depression, family squabbles, loneliness and just plain out hurting!  She was a mess most of the time but I never missed a chance to tell her — YOU ARE DOING SO WELL!!  KEEP GOING, FRIEND!!!  YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!!!

One night emotions hit a wall!  The whole family was a wreck with tears and someone came running to our house for help.  Nothing in this world feels quite as humbling as knowing you have a friend who trusts you with their most unattractive pain.  Most of us want to hide any flaws we have from the world all while our hearts are torn into a million pieces from the need to reach out.  Soon the broken family of four was lined up on our living room sofa, crying and spilling hurts that had been bottled up and squished down for several years.  How do you talk about the death of a father?  How do you answer questions that no one really has the answer to?  This poor mother was doing all she could to meet the immediate needs of her children…..but was lost when it came to helping them cope with losing their daddy.  Afterall, she lost him too.  Her heart tried to fool her into thinking…..she could just go on and live!

It wasn't that easy.  Death isn't freedom to everyone.  The ones left behind……are stuck with the pieces and nothing ever seems to fit back together.

That night on the sofa, my hubby spoke hard words.  Words that we hadn't wanted to push onto her or her sweet kids.  But God reminded ….only the truth could set this family free.  She hung on every word, she listened….she cried and then she admitted her need for CHRIST in her life.  She fully accepted Christ that night and moments later all three of her precious kids did the same.  The Holy Spirit moved inside my family living room so powerfully that night, that I've never forgotten it.  It was one of the sweetest blessings of my life as a Christian.  She was special to us before…but after that night, our hearts were forever joined.

A few years later, we would still be neighbors but not friends.  I still don't know why.  My love for her never changed….

She would go on to remarry, move out of our neighborhood and not long after that find out she had cancer.  What happened on my couch 10 years ago seems monumental in my heart today as I read the news of her funeral.  Who knew that within such a short time of accepting Jesus into her heart — she would meet him face to face?  For her, I rejoice and praise God that HE placed her in our neighborhood.  I'm overwhelmed with thoughts of the celebration she is having in heaven today.  I thank her for trusting my family so much and deciding to follow Christ.  She was a beautiful friend to me and I missed her terribly when she stepped away from our friendship.  That's water under the bridge now.  I can't dwell on "what if's" or "what went wrongs".  All I can do now is remember her and pray for those she loved and left behind.  The journey begins for each of them all over again.

Dear God

Thank you for giving me a friend in Caryn.  I'm overwhelmed by the memories we shared.  Her laugh will always be in my heart.  Bless her family as they move forward now without her there to share each day.

Amen

I probably don't have to tell you….but I will anyway.  When I'm in Texas, I feel as though I am among my people!  No one asks me WHERE I'M FROM in Texas!  I sound pretty much like everyone else around me.

Extra syllables are of JESUS!

My very favorite reason to love Texas right now is MY HUBBY IS HERE AND SO AM I!!!  For the last two days, I've stuck as close as a magnet to him.  Ya know, making up for missing him for 3 + weeks. 

In Texas, nobody sits around deciding to go somewhere!  You get (or git) in your big rig and step on it!  Haulin' it just makes sense, don't you agree?

I don't even care how hot it is (and Texas is H O T!!) it's a place everyone should visit!  The food, the people, the sights……the cowboys!  Trust me, it's worth the trip!

Everybody needs a little BIG SKY in their life……some time or another!  Open skies are all the show in Texas! 

Don't miss a chance to come to Texas, y'all!

I wanted to be a wife all of my life.  But I didn't want to just be any old kind of wife, I wanted to ROCK AT IT!  I think for the most part, I've done that.  I've had days (like most) where I've been bossy or mean or just plain unsatisfiable!  Hopefully, those were fewer than my huband can remember.  Afterall, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?  In all our years of being married, never ever have we been apart like we have this past month. 

Now for some of you, 25 days might seem like nothing!  But for us, it is huge!  For one, we like being together.  Even when we're not getting along.  We are in the gluttonous category of humans.  We stick together!  That doesn't mean we never need to step away and give one another some space.  Space is good.  But 25 days of space…..is a bit too much!

I'm lucky, I really am married to my best friend.  I can trust him, I can go to him with anything and I know he will never reject me or my love.  He enjoys being my husband (at least, that's what he says) and one of the best gifts he gives to me is the confidence to be AMAZING!

So, if I've been a little annoying with my pining for my husband on here….I'm not sorry! 

I've missed him and in the morning….I'll hop a flight to Dallas, Texas where he'll be standing waiting for me.  And I hope…..

I'm never letting him go!

Dear God

Thank you for MY husband.  You thought of everything when you created him for me.  Help me show him how much he means to me.

Amen

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SInce I don't watch much tv.  I do listen to tons of music (when Rush isn't on).  I love blogs that play their favorite songs or create playlists for readers to enjoy.

I thought I'd do the same.  Only 3 more sleeps until I kiss my hubby!  

Hope your Saturday is full of love!