Posts Tagged ‘sickness’

Sitting Bedside

Thursday, June 13th, 2013

I had no idea that I'd be sitting in a hospital in Florida this week.  Here I am.  Beside the one who gave me life so long ago.  She's reached the point of giving up.  Her body has taken such a beating that it's struggling to hang on.  This last year of medical issues wiped out the person I've called my mother.

As my hubby and I raced through the night to be with her….I thought about our past.  The rocky, painful, hard and abusive past.  So much sadness there.  I can still feel every bit of it but I don't hate because of it.  There's no time for that anyway.  

Shouldn't the end of a person's life be just as wonderful as the beginning?

I'm grateful for my mother.  In spite of her mistakes, she made a lot of good decisions too.  As a teenager, she didn't have to give birth to me or even keep me but she did.  I can't imagine what that would be like.  I cannot judge her for her lack of knowledge or resources to be the kind of mom God intended her to be.  She was just a kid herself.

Sometimes I see her in the mothering that I do.

As I sit by her side now I'm reminded how much she loved me.  All my life, she loved me.  She wanted to be a good mom and in her own way….believed she was one.  Abuse leaves a dirty stain.  No matter the type (physical, emotional, psychological). 

I forgive her.

The doctors see no chance of recovery now.  So, I wait.  Quietly by her side….making her as comfortable as I can.  Listening to her labored breathing and speaking words of love over her.  Nothing can change who she is to me.  She's my mother and I love her.

My prayer for her is that she would know the peace & forgiveness that I feel.  I want her to be happy and to know that I trust God to do what is best for her right now.  Her life has meant something.  Her love has been felt.  From the phone calls of so many….I have heard of the impact she's had on other's.  

Letting go is never easy but my heart feels ready and my mind is in agreement that she has made her peace.

Jesus is just on the other side, Mom.  Let go of here…I will always love you.

Cootie Alert

Friday, August 17th, 2012

I think I'm getting in the groove of school after a week-and-a-half….except, I woke up this morning with a screaming sore throat and sinus gunk.  Hello, school cooties!  I feel miserable and the worst part?

IT'S FRIDAY, dangit!

Friday's during the school year are sacred.  Set apart just for those of us banging out the work week like the troopers we are.  So waking up sick as the weekend is just getting started stinks like a skunk hit on the highway.  Not good!

I threw back an antibiotic and took off for work.  So, here's to hoping I'm not sick all weekend.  The days of freedom.

Before I go and make this the most amazing weekend ever….I wanted to share this  writing tip that I read this morning.  I love the idea behind it and I believe that each of us can incorporate it into our lives no matter what it is we're trying to accomplish.

"You have to find a way of working that makes it dead easy to take full advantage of your inspired moments."  Hugh MacLeod

You see the thing about inspiration is it tends to come when it's least convenient.  Like for me…I can think of a thousand book ideas or blog posts when I'm in traffic or sitting reading a story with a class.  So, I'm learning that when the mood hits….scribble the idea down and go back to it later.  Eureka moments will continue to happen when you're too busy to deal with them.  It's up to us to take advantage of them the best way we can.  So…no matter what you're trying to make happen in your life take complete advantage of your inspired moments.

Enjoy your weekend, friends.