Archive for January, 2014

Greedy Mama

Monday, January 20th, 2014

I've never been one to check my online bank account.  It's just not my thing.  Who wants to place unnecessary worry on themselves?  Why would I want to watch my money dwindle?  Everyone's money dwindles, right?  You put in your earnings, the bills start coming….you go out to eat, stop at Target….order something off of Amazon and before you know it, that paycheck has dwindled down to a tiny number in your banking account.  If you're like me, when you see that tiny number….you get N E R V O U S!  Especially if you're more than a week away from another "deposit".

So, denial.  Denial works really well if you just ignore online banking.

Now that I've moved to the big city, I have changed my ways.  Which could be good or bad depending on how you look at it.  Thanks to Last Pass (my hubby's favorite techy helpmate) my account is stored very easily for me to see my banking information.  Regularly.  So, I check it here and there.  Actually, I've probably looked at my bank account more in the last 3 weeks than I have in my total life of having money.

Yes, I talk like I'm rich.  I ain't got no money, y'all!  I'm just using words as a figure of speech.

How fitting would it be to sit down in (our new church) yesterday to a killer sermon on money.  Oh ya, he got me.  He threw out lines like, "Your heart ALWAYS follows your treasure!" and "Materialism BLINDS us to our materialism!".  Yea, he said those things.  The nerve.  He pulled all his sermon mojo from Matthew 6:19-34.  Not familiar?  Go on over there and read ya some!  It's packed with big girl words like, "Don't lay up treasures for yourself….The eye is the lamp….Don't be anxious…Look at the birds…."  His point?  MONEY HAS POWER OVER US!

I didn't get squirmy because I managed to pick THE TWO SEATS out of the whole place right behind where a certain person who makes changes on my hubby's paycheck behalf would sit.  We were there first, see.  But old satan, he used him to remind me of my worry about our income.  So, I spent all of church…thinking about my hubby's stress of having his finances switcharoo'd by this (very nice) guy sitting right in front of us.  Business is business and I understand that.  But money is also important when you're losing one income, moving to a higher cost area to live and adding on costs that you didn't normally have before.

I listened.

"Don't make money your idol!"

"Jesus gave up HIS treasure – to BE your treasure!"

"Treasures will wear out & get stolen!"

"Watch out!  You might be greedy!"

"Worry wastes energy and denies God is in control!"

Then, I repented because I trust God with every aspect of my life.  He's proven over and over that He will bless accordingly and He will take what is His as well.  It's no use for me to dwell on it.  There's no reason to obsess over money.  I have what I have (most of it undeservedly) and I need to use it responsibly and faithfully.

And just to prove God has a sense of humor……as I was about to fall asleep last night a show came on tv — #Rich Kids of Beverly Hills.  Oh, E!  You shouldn't have, but you did.  First, these people are NOT kids…they are young adults who obviously have no real jobs other than spending their parents money.  When I say spend it, I mean BLOW IT!  The episode was a mixture of exposing each character (and boy are they characters) for their brilliant minds and their ability to "give back" with a snotty high falluting blood drive that included valet parking!  Oh the irony!

I couldn't look away.  It was mind-boggling!  Not only did they lay it all out there for the world to see, they were proud of it.  They were giggly about being so self-centered and spoiled.  I couldn't help but wonder about their parents.  Were they watching too?  Did they see what whack job monsters they created?  Do they have a clue about struggle?  Or denying yourself?  Anything?

And I remembered the Pastor's words.  "Watch out!  You might be greedy!"

What can I do with my money that honors God and not myself?  I don't want to be trapped underneath the power of money.  Do you?

Lord,

Thank you for blessing me with just enough money to do all you have for me to do.  May I be responsible, giving and worthy.

Amen 

 

Sleeping Closer To Heaven

Friday, January 17th, 2014

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This ain’t no joke!  That is my bed. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

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Just gander there for a minute…husband, tall.  Bed, up to his belly button.  Geez!

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Here’s a look this morning.  I had to do something for Miss Lizzy,  so I threw a bag of clothes into a tub and tossed a quilt on it for her to climb on up to Jesus.  The classy….I ooze it y’all.

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We’re both a bit small in comparison to this bed beast.  Both of us kept close to the middle last night (for safety reasons)…cause we love our daddy!!

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Don’t ask how I’m getting up on it.  I’m still working on that little dilemma.

My bed’s bigger than your bed!   Nana nana boo boo! 

BE SAFE – PROTECT YOURSELF

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I'm a mom with kids that live on their own now.  I can't be there to protect my young adult daughters or son.  They are out and about, walking & driving all hours of the day and night in THE REAL WORLD.  Crimes continue to take place and they are part of the society that is walking among the very dregs of our world.  I worry.  I pray.  I hope that they are prepared (we've talked & talked about hypothetical scenes) to fight and protect their very lives if ever confronted with a criminal who means them harm.  My son, well…he's a big dude.  He carrys a gun on him pretty much everywhere.  My girls, are girls.  They worry about looking good and getting to and fro where they're heading.  They are a little higher on my concern list than he is.  Parents:  you get this, right?

I spent a great deal of time last night searching for a security company to engage our home security system.  The family before us obviously had it installed but trying to figure out where to begin our own service was proving to be a mystery.  If you know me (and most of you do), you know that I just moved from a location where we rarely locked our doors.  Matter of fact, we ONLY locked up at night (and sometimes that was forgotten) and when we were on a vacation.  Otherwise, our house sat there open for anyone who stopped by or happened to need something.  Most of our family was in and out throughout the day, so it never seemed risky.  Besides, the neighborhood….was a safe and rather secure area of our community.  Everyone that lives there practices what I'll call an open door policy.  Most of the time.

Plus, someone IS ALWAYS HOME around there!

The news is full of horrible instances not far from where I live right now.  Every day, and I do mean every day….the local news is heavy with cases of shootings, home invasions and random deaths by crazy criminals who are filled with evil and ill intentions.  The home invasion stuff really bothers me.  So does the people being shot and killed while grocery shopping.  What is going on?  It's no surprise that this evil is all around us.  It's not just in the Indy area.  It's everywhere!

So, what can we do?

For me, I realize that a security system alone can't save me from a bad buy.  Not even owning all the guns in the world can stop someone from trying to kill and rob me.  But as my hubby and I have discussed repeatedly….they are definitely going to have a serious fight on their hands.  During the night last night, a family was broken into in our city.  They reacted in a way that I bet surprised their attacker, they beat him up with a golf club!  They held him down until the police arrived!  Hoorah for them!

Why are we living like victims?

Don't be afraid to live!  Be empowered to protect yourself and your family.  Many just don't feel comfortable owning and using guns and that makes me sad.  Educating yourself and your family to guns shouldn't be such a guilt-filled event.  No one wants to be assaulted.  I can't think of anybody that wants to see their family held by criminals and then killed (this has happened nearby just recently) because of someone's disgusting lack of care for others.

Protect yourself.  Protect your family.  Be prepared for what CAN HAPPEN!  Have a family gameplan.  Do what it takes to stop a bad guy!

Wait For It

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

thank you GodI felt inspired yesterday to "get dressed" and journey outside of my own walls.  I had some errands to run and decided that going out into my new world would help me stop feeling so blue.  Immediately, I felt better.  Putting on makeup does stuff to your inside more than your out (or so I believe).

One of my most important stops was the beauty supply store for hair color ingredients.  Big city living provides plenty of variety but the driving to and fro searching as other drivers who know where they're going zip in and around you….a little scary.  I noticed a Goodwill on my left and thought I'd whip in and look for any tossed out furniture that I could drag home.  There wasn't a parking place to be found in the entire parking lot.  Finally after driving around and around….a guy came out to leave.  I sat there patiently behind him waiting as he buckled up and put it in gear.  As soon as he pulled out and I went to pull in….out of the blue, this little car floors it and zips into my spot.  I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting her and out of reflex, I honked my horn.  I stopped and looked at her as she jumped out of her car and threw her hands in the air laughing.

Yea, here's where I leave out all the fleshly thoughts I had in my head.

She was an older lady who knew exactly what she was doing.  My hubby suggested that she didn't see me….but she saw me.  She just chose to be a jerk!  I was fuming.  The truth is that I wanted to confront her and say something (cause I'm a deeply mature Christian).  She ran into the store and busied herself trying to avoid me….so as I browsed around, the Lord gently reminded me, "She TOOK her blessing!"  Instead of letting God bless her…she went out and got it on her own.

In my experience, blessings are never as good…..as when they come straight from GOD!

So, I shopped and left feeling that my blessing….was a coming!

I ran into the mall, found some cute things for my girls, grabbed a Starbucks (on my giftcard from my friends at JCHS) and headed out to get home.  I found my hair coloring store and when I went to pay the girls working said, "Oh, you've got a free product coming your way.  Pick out one of those large bottles to take home with you!".  Wow, thank you!  I remembered my promised blessing and thanked God.  Who doesn't love getting something awesome for free?

It had started to sleet and rain pretty hard so I scooted on down the busy road and thought about the buns I still needed to get from the store for the meatball subs.  I admit, I didn't want to stop….again.  The weather was cruddy and I'm taking baby steps in my feeling complete confidence running around in this big town.  But, dinner.  I had to get the darned buns.  So, I stopped at Whole Foods (don't hate, potate) and as soon as I got up to the doors a man hopped in his car and pulled out.  THE VERY FIRST PARKING SPOT RIGHT BY THE DOOR!!!!  Like, right by the doors!  All I had to do was step out of my warm car and take 4 steps total and I was inside grocery store paradise!  Uhm, blessing again!  I smiled remembering how much God pours….and I slather!

I made it home and started dinner.  I turned on my computer and noticed a ton of notices on Facebook with me tagged in them.  I clicked on it to find a sweet post by my son about marriage.  The words written from his heart touched my very soul.  I cried.  Good tears (cause, you know…I cry at the slightest these days).  Does it matter what happens in your marriage?  YES!  Does it affect your kids?  YES!  Are they watching? YES!  Is it worth fighting for? YES YES & YES!

His words:  ~~ > I see all these blog posts being shared about marriage, and it just makes me wonder about what people thought marriage was when they grew up. I've always known that I had great parents, but it isn't until now that I realize just how important it was for my parents to love each other and not just their kids. I had a beautiful example of what marriage should be growing up. It's just now obvious since a lot of people don't automatically recognize what you're supposed to do once thrown into that covenant. Anywho, I'm just saying that I'm glad I learned about marriage from a marriage and not a blog about marriage.

Blessings.  Wait for them.  They will come.  They are stacked up and ready for you.  Only, let God do the doling out!  Don't go making your own blessings.  They are worth waiting for.  I promise!

 

Emotion # 9,748

Monday, January 13th, 2014

This move.  This crazy up & down emotion-filled move.  It's changing me.  I'm turning into a person that is weak, easily broken and a basket case of crying.  Really, I don't know how much longer I can keep up with it.  Just when I think I'm good….something else sneaks up on me and slams me to the ground of emotions.

I think I'm starting to get it when people say how much they hate moving.  I really hate moving!  Even with all the exciting parts of starting new and getting a great new house….moving is probably one of life's biggest challenges.  Throw in, my mother's illness & death…..all three of my children moving out around the same time and my hubby switching jobs!

I'm beyond NUT JOB status at this point and I'm wondering if I will ever recover.

Every part of our move was met with some sort of difficulty.  We moved in terrible snow conditions, a horrible rain storm and with very little help.  We were stretched so thin mentally & physically and on top of all that it COST US A SMALL FORTUNE to do all the danged work ourselves.  As if all of that were not enough…..now we are the talk of the town for leaving a mess behind.

Only, we made arrangements for the mess to be taken care of.

May I insert a recommendation to anyone making a job transaction over Facebook.  Don't do it!  What we thought would be completely handled….was not even close to being handled.  Therefore, leaving us open and vulnerable to reputation suicide for being trash leaving people.  I'm sick.  I'm embarrassed.  I'm angry!

The way I see it….if you volunteer to do something, do it!  I'm left feeling very resentful now and angry for trusting someone's word that they would clean up and haul away what was left.  That was the deal.  It was to be swept out after all the stuff was hauled away.  That didn't happen. What did happen is that I read on Facebook how trashy I am and awful for leaving MY MESS for the new owners of my old house.

So, there you go.  Emotion # 9,748 because I just can't seem to escape all the effects of moving and what it does to a person.

Will.  I. Ever. Be. Normal. Again?

I’ve Met Someone

Friday, January 10th, 2014

Everyday that I've lived in this new place, I've imagined meeting my neighbors.  In my mind, the stars would all be aligned and I'd have on makeup and look cute & stylish….and of course, THEY WOULD LOVE ME INSTANTLY!  Because, being liked is really important…right?

Yea, that's not at all how it went down!

I was on the phone with my daughter (who only called me out of "boredom" – her admittance) when I saw something moving outside in the back woods behind my house.  I've been eyeing those woods for weeks now…hoping, waiting & praying that sometime or another a wild animal would visit there for me to sing my praises to Jesus for sharing His creatures WITH ME ME ME!  Those who know me, know, I guage a large part of my happiness on God showing off His wild animals with me FROM MY VERY OWN WINDOWS!!  So, catching a glimpse of something running ( a large something ) gave me all the reason to jump up and investigate my animal spotting.

Only, it was a huge long-haired dog!  A beautiful, wildly running and happy dog.  He (she) was free and seemed to be running "away" from somebody but I couldn't be for sure so I just watched to see what would happen next.  When it ran right up to my backyard fence and headed for my front door, I thought it was my neighborly duty to help catch it (you know, just in case they were chasing it).  Except when I opened my door and saw how big it was…..I second guessed my decision and stepped back inside, cause mama ain't no dummy, y'all!

I put on my leopard print snow boots over my red stripedy pajama pants & an old heavy coat and walked out to check my mailbox.  Who knew how exciting it could be to have a giant pile of mail?  On my way back inside, I noticed my neighbors garage door open and someone standing by the car.  I waved and she waved back and together we walked to the street (too much snow between us) to actually chat and meet.  It's probably a good time to mention how haggardly I looked.  No makeup, dirty hair pulled up in a not pretty pony and my rockin' outfit of misfit items.  It was delightful!

I bit the bullet (in all my ugly) and stuck out my hand to meet her.  She was a tiny pretty lady with a big smile and a warm personality.  I immediately made it all awkward by tearing up when she told me the ages of her kids (and I remembered MINE ARE ALL GROWN AND GONE!) enough so, that she walked over and hugged me.  Yea, that happened!  We talked for a few minutes about who we were and then she told me, "I'm moving,  we're getting a divorce!".  I probably cried again, but I can't remember.  It was almost like she said, "We can never be friends, cause…..I gotta go!".  (Which, she didn't!)  That's just the weak mental state I was in, y'all!

She was embarrassed and probably a little humiliated to have to tell her new neighbor that news and I can only imagine what she thought of my mental stability for crying over CHANGE.  But it was done!  We met, we made friends (for as long as it can be) and then she told me the fate of all the other empty houses around me…more divorces!

I came back inside and thanked God for my marriage.  It's been a work in progress for the last 24+ years but it's the best decision I've ever made and I hurt…..deeply for people who don't make it.  Especially when there are children involved.  My grown kids mean the world to me (hence, why I'm missing those punks) and I can't fathom them not having their dad & me intact as their parents.  How confusing, how painful, how heartbreaking it would be for them to lose their family.

My longing to meet someone new opened my eyes to the pain around me, already.  It never fails that God puts me someplace where people are hurting and need the kind of friend that I know how to be. 

Forgive me, Lord…for feeling sorry for myself and thank you for trusting me enough to love those who need it more than me.

Amen