Posts Tagged ‘friendships’

Women, Be Nice

Wednesday, May 18th, 2016


I don’t know too many chicks (in this world) that haven’t experienced mean girls.

Mean girls make life miserable. In school, work and in every crevice of life. It’s like they hold some sort of banked up power and they know how to wield it over the less brazen of us. If you’ve ever been tormented by a mean girl and her posse then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Mean girls smell fear. They usually pounce on the weakest little lamb and until someone intervenes or shuts them down they keep their focus solely on whatever victim they can dominate.

Mean girls love attention. Most of what a mean girl does in the form of torture to other girls is done for the attention of others. They are looking for anyone to catapult them to a higher level and ripping apart those weaker than them is a great way to elevate themselves.

Mean girls grow up. That’s right, they grow up and many times just turn into mean women. You know the kind….they play up to you, compete with you and talk about you behind your back. They may even be outright mean to your face!

Mean girls are never truly happy. I’ve said it before that hurting people hurt people. I’ve done my share of lashing out at people I love when I’m sad, mad, hormonal or hangry. It’s not completely the same but close. Unhappy people want to make other people unhappy.

Mean girls run in packs. Rarely is there a mean girl who reigns all by herself. She gets a lot of her power from her posse. Think back to school days, remember the gang?

Mean girls are created like you and me. The difference? Somewhere along the way, someone misled them into thinking that treating others like junk was acceptable. Then, as life carried them along…..NO ONE bothered to step in and put a lid on their bad behavior therefore creating the mean girl monster that solidified who they are.

So, why am I saying all this?

Because I want to remind women everywhere (all 7 of you reading) that being mean isn’t necessary. Neither is taking junk from meanies. If you find yourself in a circle of catty or snarky gals – find new friends. Women who mistreat other women are not friends you need or should associate with.

Oh and if you’re unable to come up with any mean girl friends….you might be one. How can you know?

Do you consider yourself a part of a clique?

Is your friend group exclusive? If so, that’s clique-ish. Avoid only hanging with certain friends. Instead be the kind of friend that says, “There YOU are!” when in the company of others instead of “Who’s that?”. (whisper whisper)

Do you struggle with envy? Most mean girls are very jealous in nature. If you find yourself always feeling jealous of other women, you might need to focus in on why. I like what Beth Moore says, “I’m not interested in competing with anyone – I hope WE ALL WIN!”.

Are you “appearance” focused? Do you pick your friends based on how they look or what they have to offer you? That’s a sure sign of something superficial inside you or me. Not everyone has the glam or cash to look fabulous – that doesn’t equal great friend either. Choose to see what GOD SEES in the people in your life. You’ll be surprised who your besties will be.

Do you find yourself in friendship troubles? If you’re avoiding a “good” friend or not speaking with someone….why? Is it you? Is it them? Is it chronic? There might be a problem and that problem may be you. Be a friend that loves at all times. (NOTE: Not a punching bag. Just a loyal kind of friend)

Does it give you a boost when you gossip about other women? Nobody ever looks good trying to make someone else look bad. It’s a sure way to tell if you’re a meanie. Listen to your own talk. Is it hateful? Is it full of criticism? Make a pact with yourself to only use PUT UPS and when you slip and use a put down, offer 2 put ups for every 1 put down. Got it?


PD – Liza has a terrible personality!

PU – Liza is always willing to help out, no matter the job.
PU – Liza is a great friend and listens to my venting.

After practicing positive speaking, it becomes a good habit. Try it.

And last, Do you have issues with control? Most mean girls want to run the show. If that’s you, uh-ho! Knock it off. Step back, let someone else have input. You’re only making yourself seem pushy or bossy. Back off and listen more than speak.

It’s time to bee a friend that’s known for being nice, helpful and accepting. The world doesn’t need anymore mean girls or women.

Am I right?

good friends

Godly Girlfriends

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012


Everywhere I look read these days the popular topic seems to be geared towards Godly girlfriends.  I can't help but think about my own special peeps that God has graciously lavished upon me.  Each of them special and unique to the time and place God had me when HE brought them into my life.  I'm so thankful for each one of them.  

HINT: Surely by now you've figured me out.  I LIKE PEOPLE!

Most of my friends live far away.  I live in Indiana and they, well…live all over.  Now don't get me wrong, I have friends where I live.  But only one [extra special] friend that I know I can count on.  A Godly friend that loves me in spite of how wacky I behave.  She may not know it….but I thank God for her everyday!  

I miss my string of long distance friends.  I know they–get me.  I don't have to pretend or be something else with them.  I can tell them intimate details of what's going on in my life and trust them to not hold weaknesses against me.  I consider it a privilege to share in the battles they fight as well.  It's almost like therapy having friends that sympathize the tough stuff in life.

Godly girlfriends are more than just acquaintances.  They are life do-ers in our journey.

The last few years have been a struggle.  It seems that finding real friends in my area has been more of a challenge than it's ever been in my life.  I often feel like I'm on a completely different planet (I realize this could just be my own weird conclusion) than everyone else.  I long for my relationships to be more.

Which brings me to….

Why do we only do surface friendships anymore?  You know what I mean, don't you?  We play along as friends but do we invest in one another?  Do we spend time together?  Do we share life together?  Are we willing to overlook faults in each other?  Am I a friend like that?  I want to be.

Can you think of a friend that really understands you?  One that has your back no matter what?  Me too.  I'm really trying to come to grips with living in the same place for 10 years and only having one serious friendship.  I wonder everyday if I'm the only one like this.  It seems I am…..



I'm so thankful for my friends.  Especially since I know they were hand-picked for me by you.  Help me to be the kind of friend that loves at all times and let YOUR love be what they see in me.